Violence Against Women

I saw this post on Sr Rose's Blog about the Our Lady of Angels Cathedral in LA having a Chapel of Violence against Women. It brought to mind the first time someone shared with me that she was verbally and physically abused by her husband at home.

The sad thing was the fear and shame that had prevented her from letting anyone know about it. Fear of how her husband might react if he found out that she had told someone. A fear so strong that she wouldn't even consider stepping into a counselling centre, afraid that the husband might find out. Shame of how others might see and judge them, their marriage and their lives which look perfect by worldly standards. And so she has had to put up a strong front, as if nothing has happened, when she is around her friends and even family.

As I spoke to her, I went from feeling the pain she's been suffering silently these year, to the anger at a man who would do that to his wife, to the helplessness of what more could I do, other than listening and offering her some professional options to find counselling and support.

As I kept her in prayer, the thought also occurred to me of how many more other women, whose marriages look perfect on the outside, but are suffering silently from an abusive husband. I used to think that it was a problem which was easily identifiable...if the husband is alcoholic, there's a high chance of domestic violence. But now I realised that anger and rage does not need alcohol to fuel it. We've seen in the papers in the last few years many cases of maid abuse. But the subject of domestic violence has not really been highlighted in our media.

Talking about media, there have been campaigns against domestic violence in the US, UK and Australia. A recent ad in the UK featuring actress Kiera Knightley caused a controversy for being to graphic and violent.


Youtube Link - Kiera Knightley - Cut Movie

Here's another ad from Australia


Youtube Link - Domestic Violence Commercial (Australian)

And another one from Canada


Youtube Link - Domestic Violence (Restaurant)

In Singapore we also had a series of ads on Verbal Abuse


Finally if you do know of families with domestic violence issues, here are a few places that will be able to provide help.

Counselling

• Family Life Society
  Tel: 64880278
  Website: familylife.sg


• PAVE (Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence)
  Tel: 65550390
  Website: www.pavecentre.org.sg

Shelters for Abused Women

• Good Shepherd Centre Crisis Shelter
  Tel:67556496
  Website: www.catholicwelfare.org.sg/rosevilla.htm


• SCWO Star Shelter
  Tel: 68370611
  Website: scwo.org.sg/wp/?page_id=31


• Singapore Anglican Community Services
  Tel: 65861069
  Website: www.sacs.org.sg/centres.htm

Does Jesus celebrate Fathers' Day

Just saw this cartoon, and found it quite hilarious.

It is quite providential that the start of the Year for Priests, and Fathers' Day falls on the same weekend this year. In CTK, the Maranatha Prayer Ministry were selling photo frames with on the spot photo taking and printing, for parishioners to buy and give to their fathers as a gift. Not only did families take photos with their fathers, there were requests to take photos with the priests of the parish.

Another surprising thing that came to my mind, was the link and continuation between the previous Year of St Paul with the Year for Priests. In his letters to the Corinthians and Thessalonians, St Paul tells us how he saw his role as a spiritual father to the people that God sent him to.

Indeed, in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 1Cor 4:15

As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his children, exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory. 1Thes 2:11-12

And so as we begin this Year for Priests, let us reflect on the role of the priests as our spiritual fathers. Have we allowed them to minister to us? Have we supported them in their vocation and ministry, through prayer, affirmation, encouragement, constructive criticism and love?

Happy Fathers' Day to all Fathers!

Growing Old

Ever since watching Tuesdays with Morrie, the idea of growing old has been something that has puzzled & intrigued me. How will I grow old? Grumpy? Eccentric? Lonely? Forgetful? Hard-of-hearing? Dependent? Child-Like?

That last 2 question was something that came to my mind as I watched my little baby niece grow over the last few months. And I realised that the needs of a infant change inversely with age. While a baby grows stronger and more independent, the elderly return to being weak and dependent on others.

I recently saw this short film on youtube which was really touching and highlighted the similarities.



It also highlighted how blind we are to see it in the realities of our lives, reflected in the different attitudes we have to the young and the old. How easy is it for us to be patient and loving to a small baby, but quick to be frustrated at the elderly. How fast we forget the care shown to us by our parents when we were babies, probably because we can't even remember it, when it is the same care that they need from us as they grow old.

Maybe some think economics when it comes to family, seeing children as an investment for the future, while the elderly are burdens or losses that need to be cut. Not everyone is going to be like the father in the film, keeping a diary of these little events with love, and be of sound enough mind to show it to their children.

This is a wonderful short film, with a real powerful message. Do pass it around. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o
God Bless.

World Communications Day

Sunday 24th May was World Communications Day, where the Church reminds us to use whatever means of communication to bring the message of Christ to the world, and to use it to foster closer relationships among each other.

The theme for this year is "New Technologies, New Relationships: Promoting a Culture of Respect, Dialogue and Friendship.". You can read up more about it in the Pope's Message.

At the Parish of Christ the King where I'm doing my pastoral attachment this year, a group was set up to see what can be done to promote this awareness of World Communications Day to the Parish.

Firstly we decided to do a website with links to various online resources that people can use to grow in their faith --> www.christtheking.com.sg/wcs09

Next we decided to encourage people to send out messages of love and blessings to their friends and loved ones. And since SMS is the most widely used means of communication these days, we printed out 10 different SMS messages onto bookmarks and distributed it at all the sunday masses --> Click here to See SMS messages

This was my favourite design

We also set up a Facebook group for the parishioners to join, with the idea of using it to communicate and promote the various parish activities through it. To date nearly 250 members have joined.

Lastly, we conducted a survey on how people are using various communication technologies and how the Church can more effectively use it to reach out and communicate.

Today as I read this week's issue of the Catholic News I saw that Vatican also did something similar on World Communications Day.

They have a website www.pope2you.net, a facebook app through which you can send the Pope's messages to your friends. Only thing we didn't do was a youtube channel, iPhone app and a wiki site. Well not too bad for a small parish compared to Vatican.

Enlightening Moment

A funny thing just happened.
I'm in my office touching up my slides for tomorrow's RCIY session, when I get a knock on the door.
I see this guy wearing a headband and his singlet is drenched with sweat.
I'm wondering what he could possibly be looking for at this time of the night.
And the first thing he says is "I just came to tell you that the light for your cross on the church building is off, I've noticed it the last few days."
I thank him and assure him that I will have it looked into.
Out of courtesy, I ask him his name and if he is a parishioner.
Turns out he stays next to the parish, but he goes to New Creation Church.

It is impressive that even while he is jogging, his mind is on God, that he even notices that the light of the cross on the house of God is not turned on.
It reminds me of a time when a few of us took a cab to Holy Trinity Church. Most of the time when we tell a taxi driver a church name, we still have to direct the way. But this time as we tried to give directions, the driver assured us that he knew the way. So I asked if he was Catholic, he said he was protestant, but not to worry, as long as it is a House of God, he knows the way there.

Amazing how much respect that these two protestant gentlemen have for the House of God, one bothering to look at it while jogging and notice that Christ's light was not shining out, and another who knows the locations of the churches, not because his profession requires it, but that because it is a Houce of God.

The fact that the light of the cross is not shining out may be reflecting something deeper, but I think I'll keep that to another post, and get back to my powerpoint slides. Really takes a lot of time and effort to do.

Oh yah, I know that I stopped at the 4th last word of Christ on the Cross reflection. Really mis-calculated the timing. I still managed to complete my reflections on all seven words by Good Friday, but to put it down in a blog post really takes up so much time, that I was not able to do it once the busy schedule of Holy Thursday onwards began. Its a hectic two weeks after Easter with sessions and retreat to plan and conduct. Hope I make it out alive. ;Þ

4th Last Word of Jesus - ...why have you forsaken me?

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34

One way of looking at this was that Jesus was reciting the first line of Psalm 22 which contained prophecies that were fulfilled at his passion (the enemies jeering, dividing of clothes and gambling for the tunic). Or that Jesus was experiencing the consequences of our sin, that disconnectedness with God, that he took upon himself willingly, and so he was voicing out the anguish that he was feeling with the words from the psalm.

As I reflected on the word forsaken, and I looked at my life, I don't think that I have ever done what Jesus did. In times when I'm down, I seldom turn to God until I'm really desperate. I can't say that I've ask God why has he forsaken me because I know its always I who have forsaken him first. It shows the shallowness of my faith and relationship with God.

In my first year of seminary, I read a few books by the Jesuit priest, Fr Thomas Green, on prayer and the deepening of our relationship with God. I wrote a few reflections on my blog on what I had learnt. In one that I wrote in lent 4 yrs ago, I wrote about what spiritual consolation and desolation was. And my second last paragraph, I said that I had not experienced full desolation yet, concluding that I'm not holy enough. Maybe now still not holy.

Read the post if you are wondering why holiness leads to desolation (a sense of abandonment by God). St John of the Cross calls it the Dark Night of the Soul. While deepening of spiritual life one will encounter spiritual dryness, desolation. Mother Teresa went through years of desolation, as revealed in the recent book "Come Be My Light". When the book was published, it sparked off many comments from the secular world, that she didn't believe in God, that she was a hypocrite professing a faith in a God she didn't believe in. But this spiritual desolation is not something that the world will understand. Even most Catholics do not know or understand that there is such a thing or that it exists.

Luckily God only allows it to happen to those who he knows are strong enough to perservere through it, and those who are willing to lay down their lives for him. It is a means through which God purifies our soul, to love him as he loved us. A test of our faith, whether we will still be faithful to seek him even if we do not have the good feeling that spiritual consolation brings. It brings to mind the faith that Abraham had. He was probably in highest consolation when God granted him a son in his old age. But what must have gone through when God asked him to sacrifice that same son.

In my younger days, I remember borrowing a question and answer book from the church library that had this question - "What if I scold God?". I remember that the answer started by saying that its ok, because at least you still have a relationship with God, that you still believe in him enough to expect something from him, and that you can get angry with him.

On a final note, I realised that I haven't reached a familiarity with the scriptures to be able use it in my prayer with God. I am probably like the bystanders who didn't know their psalms enough to recognise what it was. And that the last part of the psalm praises and glorifies God for the deliverance that he has granted.

The 5th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"I Thirst"
Jn 19:28

3rd Last Word of Jesus - Woman, here is your son...

"Woman, here is your son...
Here is your mother."
Jn 19:26-27

One reason why I like to read Archbishop Fulton Sheen's writings, is his ability to see scripture from a different perspective. When I look at this passage of Jesus giving his mother to the disciple he loved, I see it from two points of view. One that despite his own suffering, Jesus was worried about his mother, that he entrusts her, a widow, into the care of his disciple. The other viewpoint is that the disciple was not named, so that he represents all of us, to whom Jesus gives his mother.

Bishop Sheen being from America, would have used the New American Bible translation, and the word used there is "Behold your son". In this day, we don't really use the word "behold" anymore, so the other translations use "this" or "here". But the word "behold" has a richer meaning than "this" or "here". More than just a statement, it is command to see and look. It is used in John's Gospel when referring to Jesus by John the Baptist "Behold the Lamb of God", by Pilate "Behold the Man", "Behold your king!". And here Jesus is telling Mary to see and look at her son. If the words were to come out from anyone else, Mary would have looked up at Jesus on the cross. But because it came from Jesus, he was telling her to look at the disciple and to see her son Jesus, in the disciple. As the unnamed disciple represents us, Mary sees her son Jesus in each and everyone of us. We are called to be one with him, and he with us, showing his face to the world.

Bishop Sheen also mentions that just prior to this scene, was the dividing of Jesus' clothes by the soldiers. He uses the seamless tunic, most probably woven by Mary, as the link to Jesus' speaking to his mother. But as I reflected on it, somehow I got de-linked from the cross to focusing on the soldiers gambling. Much like the reflection on the two thieves, I found myself wondering what must have been going on in the minds of those soldiers.

"Just another days work"
"Lets get it over and done with"
"Sky getting dark, looks like is going to rain"
"Look at these Jews, fighting among themselves"
"Come lets have some fun and gamble for this tunic"

For them, there was no mystery, no sacrifice, nothing special about that day. In contrast to what the good thief experienced, to what the disciple and women at the foot of the cross were going through. Similarly, this week, from Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, which one are we going to be? The women, especially Mary, pondering on Christ's passion and death? Or the soldiers, where it is just another day, in fact better still, a public holiday? Whats going to be my focus, and how am I going to spend these 3 days?

The 4th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34