Broken Clay

Truly God works in His own time in His own ways.

Today I was reading the book "When The Well Runs Dry" by Thomas Green, as part of my IY formation. And I had just started reading Chapter 4 - The Potter's Clay, when I heard a song playing on my comp in the background. The song is "Broken" by Kristy Starling, from one of the CDs that we were given at the Serangoon District Youth Rally.

All I could hear from my bed was "mold me, put the fragments of my life back together again, Cause I'm broken". This got me out of the bed, and I went to the comp to turn up the volume. And surprisingly the song matched what I was reading so well.

In the chapter I was reading, Thomas Green was using the passage from Jeremiah 18:1-6 to explain what to do in the dryness of our prayer life. "Indeed, like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, house of Israel." The reason why we experience dryness, is that God is teaching us to let go, to let Him take charge, to allow Him to transform us to what He intended us to be.

But how painful the transformation will be, depends on how much we want to allow Him to mold us. If we are hard and contented with the shape we are now, it would be hard for God to transform us. But if we allow ourselves to be soft, malleable clay, then his gentle hands will transform our shape, disfigured by sin, into His design.

It is just that we fear that change. Thomas Green also uses another example, that of a small child who has to go through surgery to save his life. He doesn't understand why his parents make him go through pain. If only he can be brought to understand the good that will come out of the pain. So often we are like that child, not understanding why the dryness, the suffering or the pain. And God is there like the parent, telling us, it’s for your own good, don't worry, trust in me.

And that is why I found the song so meaningful. In the lyrics, was the theme of confusion, brokenness, doubt. Especially in the last 2 verses and the chorus. That is what we are called to be, broken clay in the hands of the potter. And the last line just sums up what I felt today, God calling me to do. "My will to You, I surrender. Oh, I surrender"

"O Lord, it is so easy to say I want to be the clay in your hands, but so hard to let myself go. I know it up in the head, but so difficult to follow. I know it is a life long journey, so I ask you to grant me the strength and perseverance. Help me to be open to your loving touch that will expose the hard areas in my life, and grant me the grace to release it for you to transform."

Broken - Kristy Starling

"You said I'd have no more
than I can handle
But everyday seems to be
getting harder to make good
Through You, You said that
I could do anything, oh anything
But sometimes, I feel like
I can't do it at all

I've been knocked down
and dragged around
And now I don't know
which way to go
All I need is one small sign
to put me to where,
Where You want me
I'm confused so I'm calling on You

Cause I, I'm broken
And I'm ready for you
to pick up the pieces
Won't You direct me, hold me,
accept me, and mold me
Put the fragments of my life
back together again
Cause I'm broken

Somewhat embarrassed to admit this
But I wonder if it's the other, or if it's You
Is it trying to tempt me, or is it You
Who strengthens me
I'm weak, so I'm confessing to You

My pride has been bruised
I suppose that's good
My will to You, I surrender
Oh, I surrender