Out of my mind

"He went home, and such a crowd collected that they could not even have a meal. When his relatives heard of this, they set out to take charge of him, convinced he was out of his mind." (Mk 3:20-21)

Don't know why when i reflect on the readings these past 2 days, and when it is proclaimed at the mass, a seperate thing strikes me. Today, the last 4 words hit me as the finished the Gospel, and Father started out his homily with the same words. "Are you out of your mind?" We've gotta be out of our mind to be here. Considering some of the reactions I get when people find out that I'm going down this path, it does feel a bit that way. And so he preached about being "out of our minds" in a good way.

But what struck me about those 4 words, was being out of our mind in a "bad" way. Probably cos the awareness issue has been on my mind for a while, and at today's recollection, father gave out a handout on how to do the examen. Either my mind is out of me, or I'm out of my mind. And definitely most of the time God is out of it too. Like there was one day, after taking my food, I said grace, and was reminded by another brother that we had already said grace communally. And as I thought back, yah somehow, my mind wasn't there when we first said grace. Only the second time did I really thank God.

Well, something positive to take out of all this, is that I feel like I'm at spiritual BMT. Come in spiritually unfit, but which also means, that with constant exercise of my prayer life, would be able to see much growth. Praise God that He's making me aware of the areas I'm lacking in, so that I can work on it.