Never be Discouraged

In my last post I mentioned about the wasp building its nest on my door. On the left is the picture of the nest that was built on my door on wednesday. After posting that blog, I went to scrape it off.

Then on thursday, after lunch, when I went back to my room, I saw this on my door (1st picture). The wasp was back! I took a photo at 2pm, then had to rush off for a meeting. When the meeting ended at 4.30, I came back, and found that it had built up even further (2nd picture). And it was still building, flying out to get more mud and coming back (3rd picture). Managed to get a nice picture of it. Had to go for manual labour and community games. And when I came back at 6.30. The nest was built and sealed. Which means that the wasp had laid its larva in it (4th picture).

Sad thing is that one of my brothers has this extreme dislike for God's wonderful creation, and so I had to remove the nest before the larva can develop into a full grown wasp, "and kills somebody".

So I decided to do some scientific research, and opened up the nest, and see what was inside. To my amazement, I found that the wasp had laid its larva inside, and had put in a spider for it to feed on. Then that brother sprayed my door with insecticide, and told me it said on the can that the effect guaranteed to last for 3 months.

But then on friday, the wasp returned again and started building right on the same spot of the other 2 nests and where the insecticide was supposed to be. This time the wasp crossed path with that brother with insecticide in hand, and the picture on the right is the sad end result. I'm keeping the foundation of the 3rd nest on my door in remembrance

On a brighter note ;Þ over that friday and saturday, we had 15 young men come to the seminary for the vocation recollection. Many new faces. We were quite surprised at the number, Praise the Lord. Now hopefully they continue to come, like the wasp, and hopefully there's no one there to "kill" their vocation.

My dog ate my homework

Yah I know I've not posted anything in a while, but I have a reason. "My dog ate my homework". Actually mine is the more updated version of that reason. "My thumbdrive died on me".

I'm not kidding, I came back to seminary after the mid-sem break, plugged my thumbdrive into the comp, and it refuses to read. Even the LED light that shows activity does not come on. And so all my data inside is lost, including a few posts that I had written. And oh yah my greek homework which I started on at home. Now gotta re-do. Imagine if I go to class on thursday and said, sorry father, "my thumbdrive died on me".

Quite sad actually, cos I had 3 posts with reflections on the SYD Rally, Gerard's ordination to the diaconate and other stuff, which I can't remember now. So won't bother about it. No use crying over spilt milk.

Although I won't try and recall what I wrote on the SYD Rally, I would do it great injustice not to mention it. Kudos to the SYD team, for the effort and fine work that they did. All of us were quite impressed with the program and the turn-out. Must have truly been a wonderful learning and serving experience. And just looking at how it has brought the youths of the various churches together, working together for Christ, shows how the Holy Spirit works in us when we are open to him.

Talking about how the Holy Spirit works, despite the "sorrow" of the loss of my thumbdrive, there is cause for much rejoicing. As at this moment, there are 14 young men coming for the vocation recollection this weekend. One guy just signed up. Who knows if more will come.

Please pray for these young men, and also for us and the priest, that this recollection would be an intimate encounter with the Lord, and help them in their journey of discerning their vocation.

Gotta go now. Some wasp has decided to set up it's nest on my door. The mud is still moist, so going to remove it before it hardens. Might post up a picture of it in the next post, which might not be so soon, cos of the recollection, and oh yah my greek. Better get down to my homework. Don't think "my thumbdrive died" is a valid reason. ;Þ

Re-born

Today we went to Holy Trinity. A very big parish in terms of population, the biggest actually, with 13,000. Since they cover the whole pasir ris, simei and tampines area. So its a good thing that they are building the new parish in Pasir Ris. Compared to St Stephen's last week which has a population of 1,008 (So small they can be so exact with the number)

Trinity has a relatively young congregation. During the morning that we were there, we saw many children, youths, young adults, young parents. Few elderly as compared with the other parishes. Logistically I think it's quite a nightmare, they had so many classes for catechism with many sessions. But they are quite blessed too, because they have quite a few young catechist.

Fr Johnson was telling us about catechism, and showed us a book, From Maintenance to Mission: Evangelization and the Revitalization of the Parish.(The book looks quite interesting, reading the few sample pages on amazon.com.) He mentioned something quite interesting. Too often we baptise our kids, teach them the commandments, but we do not make them disciples. And he said, we need to be re-born, like in the conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus in John 3:1-8. This struck me quite a bit, and was my point of reflection the rest of the day. It reminded me of my own "re-birth", and I just felt that whole sense of gratitude for that transformation in my life, and that I should be ever thankful, and not take it for granted.

Now the problem is how do we bring about that re-birth and discipleship element into the catechism class. I know teaching catechism isn't easy, and the problem isn't just changing the catechism program. The environment the kids are brought up in, at home, and in the parish community. The mindset and knowledge of the catechists, in fact of the adults in the church. We can't give something we don't have. It's a vicious cycle, kids who are not brought up in the faith properly, will become adults who do not see the need to grow in their faith. And thru their actions, and if they become catechists - the cycle repeats itself.

Allel-oops

Lent is here, and we are still trying to remember not to say the alleluia at the beginning of the Divine Office.

I was trying to settle my lenten sacrifices, albeit a bit late, but this year I am inspired to really benefit from the sacrifices. This theme of "It's not what you give up, but what you embrace" keeps ringing in my head. It all started with last sunday's sermon at St Stephen's church, by Fr Paul Staes, CICM. (Oh yah which reminds me, I didn't pen down any reflection on that visit)

The only part I remember about his sermon was, "Some of you will give up watching tv. But maybe instead of giving up tv, you should watch, but be selective of what you watch, and use it to increase your faith. Maybe borrow a inspiring movie, and use it to bring you closer to God." After that my mind went on thinking on that statement, and I didn't listen to the rest of his sermon.

Then at yesterday's evening prayer, the scripture reading was from Jam 4:7-8,10

So submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you of two minds.

Which brought to mind Fr Ignatius' sermon some weeks back on the Gospel about the unclean spirit that was cast out and returned back with seven more. I never understood that passage, until he explained that, when we "cast out" our sinful ways, there is an void left in us, and unless we fill it with God and His love, the sin will return and even stronger. And so this passage from James really summerises the 2 dimensions I have to consider in my lenten sacrifices. How are my sacrifices helping me stand firm against the devil? and how are they helping me to draw closer to God?

And then today's mass readings.

"Is not this the sort of fast that pleases me?" - Isa 58:7
"For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept. My sacrifice, a contrite spirit; a humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn. - Psa 51:18-19

So this lent, I can fast, I can give up entertainment time, I can spend less on "comfort items", even give up my "bookouts". But what I am going to fill in those voids with. The obvious answer is God. But what practical ways can I do that.

"Lord, grant me the grace to see the world thru your eyes. Give me the strength to persevere in my lenten sacrifices, to stand firm against the devil and his temptations. Show me how to fill myself with your Love. And above all, grant me a humble and contrite heart, to draw myself ever closer to you. That after these 40 days I may celebrate you resurrection with a resounding Alle---a"

Opening to God

I just finished a book review on Thomas Green's Opening to God. This book was highly recommended to us by our Initiation Year Director, and now after reading it, I would also highly recommend it to anyone who wants to deepen their prayer life, or just trying to even make sense of prayer in their lives.

For a person picking up the book, trying to find a sure-fire way to encounter God, he will be sadly disappointed. Which is why the author devoted the first half of the book, to clarify what prayer is, or more importantly, what it is not. Through his experience giving spiritual direction, he knows the struggles we face in our spiritual journey. Thus in “Part I – The What and Why of Prayer”, he corrects many of the misconceptions and answers many questions that the person in this modern era would face regarding prayer.

After changing the mindset we have in the first part, that prayer is really an encounter with the Lord, and it is a response on our part to His drawing, the author suggests a change in approach. In the second part “The How of Prayer”, instead of the things we should do, he focuses on what we should be: “A better approach would be to define prayer as an opening of the mind and heart to God. Opening stresses receptivity, responsiveness to another.” Using his knowledge from the writings of the masters of prayer, Sts Ignatius, John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, he puts it in simple language, that is easily understood by a beginner to prayer.

Personally, reading this book, has given me much to reflect on. I could identify with the person who used to think of prayer in terms of the categories: adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, and supplication. And now as I move from the devotional faith, to discovering the relational aspect of prayer, it has highlighted some stages and difficulties on this journey that I was unaware I had or am going through. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, it has reminded me that the growth in my prayer life really requires time and effort. I am reminded once again not to be so impatient, expecting to bear fruits through my own effort, and not to be impatient with a God who cares for me.

The most striking part of the book has to be it’s ending, because it describes how I’m beginning to feel about prayer. That when it seems that we have truly learned how to pray, we are actually “only beginning to discover what the Spirit has to teach us of God – but it is a very good beginning.”

"The image I often use is that of a father and his year-old child. The baby has learned how to crawl, and become a very skilled crawler. Then one day the father decides to carry the baby for a walk. Suddenly the baby sees the world from the father's shoulders and moves with the speed of his father's speed. When they return home, the father puts the baby down on the floor again, and the baby is frustrated because he can only crawl. Now he knows something better is possible, and crawling is no longer satisfying.

It is like that in the early stages of our life in prayer. When we begin to make progress, it is not because we have learned to walk, but because God is carrying us. Like the baby, however, we tend to think we have really accomplished something ourselves.

Prayer becomes a joy and our faults disappear, and we think we have really learnt to walk, but the reality is that our faults have not been eliminated, but merely temporarily masked by God's grace. And when he sets us down again, prayer becomes difficult, and our failings return, and we find ourselves frustrated."

Epilogue - Opening to God

The image of the father carrying the child and walking, and the disappointment when the child is put back down to crawl, encourages me to be aware of that during my own journey, and to carry on relying on God and not be disappointed.

Our Lady of Lourdes

This week we went to the parish of Our Lady of Lourdes. From Chinese community last week to Indian community this week. Maybe it might have inspired my brother to pick up tamil for his ministry ;Þ

Our Lady of Lourdes is a very different parish from most other parishes in Singapore. Firstly because it's in the city area, surrounding it are mainly commercial buildings with some flats here and there, so in terms of local population it is quite small. The catechism classes total 30+ from pri 1 to Sec 4. Meaning that there are only like 3-4 students per level. So the levels have to be combined together.

The other difference is that the community there has a high number of migrant workers, from India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Philippines, and recently Nigeria. And so the parish faces a whole different set of ministries. New people come and go, some of them stay and work far away, some only have off days once a month. The parish also does help them a lot in terms of administrative needs. Ever so often, they are abused or cheated by their employers, and we as church cannot say to them "Ok brother, we will pray for you." Like in last friday's first reading.

"If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well," but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it?" Jm 2:15-16

It's quite nice to see that the parish has been catering to the needs of these fellow brothers and sisters. After the tamil mass at 8am, they gather for prayer sessions, the sri lankan maids have been allocated a room also for their gatherings. There is the soup kitchen that provides free meals, and starting a computer training centre for them to pick up new skills.

One thing which Deacon Jivan who is attached there was telling us, is that these migrant workers are more devotional in their worship. They are not looking for theological inputs, scripture study. What they are looking for is the experience of God in their lives, to be able to praise, to pour out their sorrows, to seek comfort and healing.

And so I thank God for these opportunities to see the different cultures and needs of the different parishes in singapore. Knowing that there is no one standard "solution" or way to run a parish. Next sunday, we are off to St Stephen's, which is another poor parish. Haven't been there for mass before, so would be another eye-opener.

Ok, gotta go and study my latin. The declensions are really a headache. Masculine nouns decline one way, Feminine nouns another way, Neuter yet another way. Worst still I'm mixing up my latin and greek. Both languages, similar in structure yet so different. I might actually take a stem from one language and combine it with the root from the other to form new words.

Take Up Your Cross

Today's Intro to Christian Spirituality class began with the Gospel reading for the day. Mk 8:34-9:1 Particularly the first line where Jesus says:

"Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."

Here Jesus gives us the 3 steps to be his follower, "deny ourselves", take up our cross" and "follow him". Father asked whether we take up our cross, or do we drag it along. Which reminded me of this flash animation from donghaeng. If the flash doesn't load on this page, click on this link to view it.
And what was depicted in this flash animation actually describes what was talked about in class. Father asked us, how many crosses were there on Calvary? The answere was one, the Cross of Christ, the other two were burdens, punishments, consequences. Only Jesus' Cross brought about redemption. And so the reflection is, do we cheapen the cross. So often, any suffering we go through, we call it the cross that we have to carry. For us Christians, our crosses that Jesus is asking us to carry, also has to have that redemptive power. We have to embrace it, and offer it to God. If not it is actually a burden. Like in the flash animation, the guy was carrying his burdens, and the cross was dragging behind.

One of the distinctions, is whether our suffering is self-centered, whether they make us resentful, bitter, revengeful? Does it bring misery to others? If so, it becomes a curse, for ourselves and others. And this suffering will cause more suffering. Until we decide to stop this vicious cycle, to use our suffering for good.

So how can we make our sufferings redemptive and into a Cross. First thing to remember is that it's not going to be easy, and of course we need to be careful that it is not selfish suffering, where anything that brings us out of our comfort zone is suffering. With true suffering, we can

• unite ourselves with the suffering of Christ, for the sins of the world.
• allow others the opportunity to show love to us. (without wallowing in self-pity)
• by our suffering joyfully, be a sign of faith and trust in the Lord to others.
• offer our suffering for others intentions.

We all have questions, of why there is suffering in the world? why do some people suffer more than others? why do good people suffer, and bad ones enjoy life? Ultimatly suffering is a mystery, and we will never have an answer that will truely statisfy us. We can only look at our late Pope John Paul II and learn from how he used suffering to bring himself and others closer to our Lord.

Donghaeng also has another flash video about the cross. I won't put it in this post, as both have sound effects, but it's an inspiring piece that shows us how our cross can help us in our faith journey. Coincidentally, it ends of with the same verse "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."

view/download flash animation