Soccer Match Reruns

Last friday night, I read one of those daily devotionals I subscribe to, and saw an interesting article. Cause it used sports to link with faith, my favourite kind ;Þ

"some people like to watch great football and basketball games over and over again. Why? ... I think it is because the games turn out the way they want them to. They know how the game ends and even though there may be some difficult moments for their team they know it all works out in the end. As they watch the game over and over every play is a celebration and they enjoy the thrill of victory over and over again."

The article in summary talks about how ESPN shows reruns of past basketball and football games. And how it is the same with our faith, know that even though we may be down now or struggle, but we know the score at the end. Jesus won it all for us.

So it was quite interesting that on Saturday morning, I was channel surfing while eating breakfast, and as usual there's nothing interesting on TV on saturday mornings, I switched to one of the sports channels and they were showing a reruns of the 2000/2001 FA Cup Final between Liverpool and Arsenal.

Now, I've watched the match before, and I knew that liverpool won. So you might think that it relates with the article that I read. Problem was that I didn't remember... or at least wasn't sure if Liverpool really won. Because as I watched the game...I saw Ljungberg score in the 71st minute, and all of a sudden, I thought...hmm..was this the year that Arsenal got the double. And then as I looked at the Liverpool players, the manager, I remembered that they were the underperfoming bunch. Shit I think they lost it. Then in the last 7th minute, Owen scores the equalizer, and 4 mins later scores the winner with a wonderful goal. Disappointment turned to joy. Yup...they won this one...classic match, thats why the showed it again.

But after I switched off the TV, the article came to mind. Yah it was a rerun, and I knew the score...hmm...can I link it to my faith... And sad to say yah I can, just not in the way the article was talking about. Because this time, although I knew how it ended, but then, I forget, I've watched too many matches to remember. And when Arsenal scored, the doubts started coming in. I wasn't sure anymore, and the players on the field didn't really inspire much confidence either. (But then this is Liverpool, haha, the team that can come back from 3 goals down to beat AC Milan and win the Champions League)

So linking this to our faith, yah I've been distracted with life's other insignificant battles, that I forgot how this final battle ended. Especially seeing the "goals" being scored against the faith. Doubts start setting in. "How to come back like that" And then look at the "players" around now? wah piang...this useless bunch. how to ever turn the score? But a comeback is possible, even if we can't remember the result, and tats wat faith is. Despite all the doubts, the perserverence, trust, hope in the joy. The game is still going on, and each of us (I esp like this analogy) are players on that field, we just have to buckle down and carry on fighting. Cos it ain't over until the whistle is blown. Oh yah I learnt a new word for the end times : Eschaton

See wonderful right how the Liverpool team can link to the faith....Especially its motto "You'll never walk alone" And just realised that it links to the passages from the previous post . We walk with Christ, and we walk with each other. Those from COSDU will remember how we used it as the theme for the year when I was session co-ordinator ;Þ

Following and Being with Christ

This post is super late, wanted to do it on sat, but then have fallen ill.
But thankfully the delay also has its merits, as I just read something today related to the theme.

It all started with the Gospels of Last Thurs and Fri.
Thursday was the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows, which Fr Ho pointed out follows the Feast of the Triumph of the Holy Cross. The Gospel was

"Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home."

Jn 19:25-27

And Friday's Gospel was

"Jesus journeyed from one town and village to another, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the Kingdom of God. Accompanying him were the Twelve and some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their resources."

Lk 8:1-3

As I reflected on the two Gospels, together with the comment by Fr Ho, I realised that they had a common theme. Both at time of Jesus' ministry and suffering, His followers were with Him. It wasn't so much that He was with them, but they were with Him. Mary was by the side of Jesus from His Birth to His Death. The disciples also gave up everything to follow Him.

So should our prayers be "Lord, come and be in my life", or "Lord, help me to follow You". Much as wanting God in our lives sounds good and holy, it can lead us to a self-centered thinking that God comes into our plan of lives. This can also lead us to feel that God abandons us when things are not going too smoothly. But when we change the mindset, that we enter into His plan for us. That we try to be close to him, in times of His mission and in times of His Cross, we realise that He is always there, and we can be by His side.

Which brings me to the article I read just today. "Where I am, there shall my servant be also" (John 12:26)" by our late Holy Father John Paul II. The servant is at the side of the Master, not the Master following the servant. This also reminds me of a letter by the head of the Dominicans, Fr Timothy Radcliffe, that I've been reading. In it he uses the bus as an example, as long as the bus is going in our direction we stay on the bus. But when the bus departs from the direction of my own journey, I will get off the bus, and carry on in my direction. So is Jesus a bus, which I stay on as long as its going my way? or do I stay on the bus, whether or not its going where I want to go?

He also talks about how always there will be differences between those in the Dominican order, but how they are all united in the same mission. And so we too as followers of Christ in general, have so many different ideas and gifts. Are we too united by the Master, united in the mission? but yet so often we choose to look at the differences and let that divide us.

I end of this post with the song by Don Moen, which came to mind when I was typing this post. Wanted to play the song in the background of this post, but can't seem to do it.

I just want to be where You are,
dwelling daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where You are

I just want to be where You are,
in Your dwelling place forever
Take me to the place where You are,
I just want to be with You

I want to be where You are,
dwelling in Your presence
Feasting at Your table,
surrounded by Your glory
In Your presence,
that's where I always want to be
I just want to be,
I just want to be with You

I just want to be where You are,
to enter boldly in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where You are

Oh, my God,
You are my strength and my song
And when I'm in Your presence
Though I'm weak You're always strong

Long Overdue

It's nearly 3 weeks since my last post, and like that one, the last ordination we are having this year was a really good weekend.

Basically it was our parish Sec 2 camp, from saturday to monday. I won't really talk about the camp itself, but must say that this bunch of sec 2s really surprise me. It has ignited a spark within them, a hunger to know Christ better. Quite a number of them have been coming for evening mass everyday. During the school holidays straight after the camp, the church has seen a huge number of youths coming for daily mass. Lionel came on his birthday and was shocked to see the back half rows of the church packed with youths. He jokingly asked "Today youth mass ah?" But yah that day we had the sec 2s, sec 3s, LOG, YV and some not so young MSC members.

But that was all during the school holidays, so I thought that once school starts sure dwindle...but for the past 2 weeks, everyday there are a good number of sec 2s. Gracemary and Rachel, my group members, said they will come every tues and fri, cos the other days they can't. Quite amazing.

We really need to look at ways to help these young ones, walk in their faith journey, grow in the love of Christ and of others. Cracking my head to think of something for them during the hols. Really brings alive the words from Matt 9:37-38, "The harvest is plenty, but the labourers are few." And I guess, the answer really lies in the second part. "Ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers for His harvest". Praying for 2 specifically, but yah...need many more.

Was just talking to Dennis too about his Sec 1 & 2 camp. And how the youths not knowing about the Holy Spirit, and catechism being boring, teaching about the "modern church". The real question of youth ministry is how to inspire them about Jesus as a living, loving person.I saw one of the youths carrying this book "Live like a Jesus Freak". And just as I went to amazon to download the picture of the book, I found out that this book is a follow up of the first book "Jesus Freaks: DC Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs - Stories of Those Who Stood For Jesus, the Ultimate Jesus Freaks". This reminds me of the talk that Jude gave on the first night of the camp. And I think for most of the youths, yah it really challenged them. Why were these people willing to die for their faith? Why did they do things that doesn't make sense? Were they crazy? Delusional? Freaks??? Then Jude showed me yesterday something he found on the web, a collection of stories that priests wrote of their experience during Sept 11 2001, some risking lives, going out of the way, beyond "human duty" to carry out their ministry. WHY???

One conclusion that I've come to is that we are in a different generation from our parents. Sociology has the terms Generation X and Generation Y to discribe the different "mentality" of the different generations. For me, in terms of the faith, our parents come from the Generation X, where the X was a BIG NO! The church says "No this", "No that", and our parents just followed. Whereas our current generation, the Generation WHY, is all about "Why not", "Why can't". This is not just about the faith, but we just question (or rebel) anything that wants to have authority over our lives.

So we do question, why should we follow? Why should we believe? And the answers of our parents sometimes do not suffice, cos some of them themselves don't know the answer. Not sure if I blog this before, but the answer is really in what our Holy Father Benedict said to the young people before he left for Germany. To discover the faith as not about the laws of the church, but of the person of Christ, just as the Magi searched for the Saviour.

Wah really long post... Must be the verbal diarrohea from not blogging so often. Wanted to post another one, but shall do that tomorrow.

3 youths I met this weekend

Looks like every time there's an ordination, my weekend is going to be quite packed. Like the last one with the tridentine mass and bro tony's visit, and the Kenny's one, will be in the middle of the Sec 2 Camp. This weekend was also packed from sat morning all the way to sun nite. I think i'll still keep my title as it is, although now I'll add in more than just about the youths.

Sat morning started out with a visit to the Servants of the Lord house in Seletar hills. Brother Andrew invited us to drop by to have a look, and for me it was a time to find out more about what they are doing. The have 3 houses in singapore, one which provides daycare for old folks, another for abused women, and another for abused men. Shall not write too much about it, you can check it out in the website, and if you are interested to find out or help out in their ministry, you can contact them, or tell me, and I can arrange for you. But I came out in wonder of God's spirit working in the lives of people offering their lives in His service.

Then in the afternoon, I went to St Ignatius Church to help with a recollection for the post-confirmation group. And of all things, I was asked to do a testimony on the challenges of a disciple of God and how I deal with it. I must say that it wasn't easy... I rather do a teaching session then a testimony. And as I started writing my testimony, it started out out almost like a teaching session. I started listing the points that I wanted to get across, examples, scripture references. I could have given a 20 min talk, but then I only had 5 mins. I also realised that it was more a teaching than a testimony.

So I spent much time summarising it, trying to make it more a sharing of my life than teaching. But one thing I know about myself, is that I find it hard to prepare a talk by writing exactly what I want to say. Like the last time when I gave a testimony for vocation sunday. I don't like to just read what I write, although I try to write as if I was speaking naturally. But something I realised on sat, was that the writing down of my thoughts even though I don't use it when I speak, helps me to reflect, to identify my points and the flow, and forces me to go through the delivery. So its necessary, and I shouldn't get so uptight about it.

Anyway yup that's something I discovered about myself, but I also met 2 youths there which surprised me. Cos we had this praying session, where the youths were supposed to re-commit themselves to God as His disciples. The first guy I went to to pray with, after I asked him if he would like me to pray with him, immediately starts off his pray, asking God, for guidance, strength, etc.... I was like, wow... this guy is serious about being a disciple, his humilty in his prayer and self surrender.

So ok, the first guy was those quiet kind, so maybe quite prayful already so maybe the prayer was usual for him. Then I went to the next guy, this one altar server, quite "action" kind. I thought maybe tough nut, so I asked him if I can pray with him and asked him what he wants to pray for. He tells me, and when he finishes, he turns to me and asks me what I want to pray for, which totally caught me off guard. This supposed to be me praying for him, and here he is wanting to pray for me. So we ended up praying for each other. Both showed me signs of discipleship, one in his humilty the other in his generousity.

After that it was to Val's place for her 21st birthday party. A time just to relax, played a bit of card mahjong, not as fun as the real thing.

Sunday I woke up late. Excuse : Tired out from saturday's non-stop activity. Reach mass just at the Gospel. Then after that was the session with the sec 2 class. At the same time, the sec 3s were having their get together after confirmation. That caught my attention when I heard some voices saying "If anyone would like to join us ..." So I went over to see who was recruiting. And a few of the newly confirmed were standing in front of the class and suggesting starting a new group.

But the one youth who struck me this weekend was Mel's sister, I was asking her what they planning to do, and she said, "you guys set age limit, we can't join you", so I told her, "why you want to join us, we so much older, than like those people in NUS share about the struggles in uni, you all won't understand. Even I feel out of place" Her reply utterly shocked me. "We don't talk about school, we talk about God then all the same mah."

So that's it 3 youths, all surprising me with their words all in this weekend. Much for me to reflect on.

And to sum up my weekend, I went for the sacerdotal ordination of then Deacon Christopher Lee. A bit overdose, 4 in such a short space of time. But if these last 2 have given me stuff to think off, I look forward to next weekend. Who knows what else is in store.

Revelation - Looking Back

This post was supposed to have been posted last week after the tues sharing. But I guess its quite fitting for today also.

Last week's sharing was from Eph 1:15-23. For me, the verse that struck me was

"that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that with the eyes of your hearts enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you"

Eph 1:17-18

Because as in previous post, I was reflecting on God's revelation to me. And as stated in this passage, He reveals Himself slowly bit by bit as we come to know Him. Also I was reading this book "Joshua" (not the one in the old testament) which I hope to blog about in more detail in future. In it there's a story of a doctor, that can't believe that a boy he certified dead, came back to life, and he thinks its a miracle. But then Joshua comes and says he doesn't believe in miracles.

"A little thing like that stands out in your mind because you miss the much greater mysteries that take place continually every day. What happened the other day surprises you because it was unexpected. Look in the mirror when you go to your room tonight and you will see an evolution of wonders far more exciting than the healing of a broken bone and the revival of the spark of life. The whole course of each day is filled with endless wonder, which we take for granted because it all flows so smoothly as the ordinary course of life. But each tiny event, and each moment of time, is a miracle of creation."

All this brings to mind a quote by St Augustine on the miracle of Christ changing water into wine at the wedding in Cana.

We take for granted the slow miracle whereby water in the irrigation of a vineyard becomes wine. It is only when Christ turns water into wine, in a quick motion, as it were, that we stand amazed.

St. Augustine

And thus that's my reflection the past week, as I look back at the past year of my journey which I first questioned why I had to wait, and I am amazed at the small things that I've taken for granted, but on hindsight have helped me to grow, and to realise "the hope to which He has called me".

But then I just read this from the Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional on looking back. And so it's also a reminder, that as good as it is to look back at one's life, to see the milestones, we can't be caught up with sentimentalism and be stuck there. We have to also look forward to the future and also in the present, and try to be more aware of what God is revealing to us today.

But if we go back to try and recreate the past and hold onto it as long as possible, this is not productive. We never will be able to go back to an earlier time. Plows don’t plow backwards. They only dig ahead into open fields. So do God’s purposes for us.

Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional

Never put Christ in the center of your plan of action

Shocking title for this post. And I must say I'm amazed at this revelation.
To put you at ease, its not that I've decided to move away from Christ, on contrary its got very much to do with my discernment. The words in the title are just a part of a longer quote, so go figure what can you add to make it right.

It all started out at a small meeting with an old friend, updating on whats happening in our lives. So this guy is my age, and active in church. So comes the question of plans for the future, and whether he is discerning his vocation.

Anyway to cut a long story short, he's basically putting off discerning till a later time when he is more prepared. So the question of "Where is Christ in all this?" was put to him, and he answered with "In everything I do, I put Christ first, I pray before I do anything." Wah super model answer, stamp, chop, and send straight to sainthood.

And I don't find anything nothing wrong with the statement above, and its really the most basic that we should try. In fact I just realised that maybe I should say a short prayer so that my posts would be inspired.....ok done. ;Þ

But as we were talking on the topic of discernment and vocation, I realised that the statement was not the best approach. As I've learnt in Thomas Green's book "Weeds among the Wheat" on discerment, one of the fundamental things of discernment is "desire to do God's will". And as I was thinking of the statement my friend made, somehow felt that the 'I' came first, before Christ. As in I decide what I want to do, and I ask Christ to come and bless my work.

And just at that moment it dawned on me, that discernment was the other way round, to put the Christ before the I. So instead of "putting Christ into my work", it should be "putting myself into Christ's work". But of course I didn't say it out to my friend, as it might sound quite judgemental, especially as I don't really know him that well.

Then as I was sending another friend home, I shared with him what came to me during the discussion. And he asks me where I heard that from, cos he's heard that before from Fr Edmund Chong. And he shows me the message he keeps in his phone. So like I said, its a revelation for me, and I praise God for it. I shall end of this post with Fr Chong's quote as it's much nicer than mine ;Þ

"In all that you do,
never put Christ in the centre
of your plan of action.
Instead, put yourself in the centre
of Christ's plan of action."

Eventful Weekend - Part 2

Saturday

Bro. Tony Clark was in town, on a stopover during transit, on the way back from Rome to Melbourne. Bro. Tony is a Marist brother, and he was attached to our chaplaincy to look after the Australian Catholics in the uni. But that didn't stop us from getting to know him, and for him to do sessions for us.

Anyway, it was really nice meeting up with him, he's a really holy guy, very approachable, somehow know that he plays some part in my own call, but can't place a finger on it. It could be the chats I had with him, or working with him on the camp and sessions. But I think most probably its the way he is, and the way he carries out his own ministry that is quite inspiring.

So yup was a good pick up from the "solemn" mood of friday. We went to Sim Lim to get a mp3 player for him. Tried my Jedi mind tricks on the sales girl, to get her to lower the price. Almost managed to get through her weak mind, but then she called her boss, who's got a stronger mind. But still quite a good bargain. And then spent the rest of the time, chatting and updating each other on our lives.

Sunday

In the morning, Youth Vineyard did the confirmation prep session, and must say they were quite good. The p&w, was good, especially for justin and amanda who i've never seen lead before. And they were quite creative in their activity and skit.

Then in the evening, went for the ordinations of Damien De Wind and Valerian Cheong. Was really grand, the choir was really good, although some of the servers wore the surplice which brought back to mind friday. And the server with the thurible was so enthusiastic in swinging, that it burst into flames, just after the consecration. This uncle standing next to me, was wondering why I was laughing to myself during the Eucharistic prayer.

Met Jimmy and Irene there, and also Sean and Lucy. So nice to see people filled with joy and holiness. Especially evident from the newly ordained priests. So you readers, gotta keep them in your prayers.

That sums up my weekend. Tomorrow's a holiday, quite packed also, so see what God has planned.