This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Catholics and will put us to the test! Always remember (as I try to remember) that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Catholic.This is the last paragraph of the 5 Cents story I posted on mon. I got it again in my email today, but what is more weird is that today on the MRT back from our pastoral at St Joseph's Home, I encountered an example similar to this.
Two of us seminarians were on the NEL chatting away, talking about the upcoming Vocation Retreat. When two seats became available, we sat down and continued talking. Then I heard the word "seminarian" whispered, and I overheard a middle-aged couple sitting opposite us talking about us both, that we are seminarians, and that she recognised the logo on our t-shirts. I must have been straining my ears to catch what they might be saying about us, when the woman and I made eye-contact. She mouthed the words seminarian, and I just smiled back, nodded my head and mouth back yes.
After that it was this weird situation, the couple were in this kena caught talking about people mode and did not look over at us, and I was stuck wondering what I should be doing. The train was still quite full with people standing around, so was like quite awkward to start a conversation across the train carriage. Thoughts like should we introduce ourselves, make small talk. So in the end all I managed to do was wave and say goodbye when they got off at the stop.
This was like the situation of the priest in the bus in the 5 Cents story. The idea of me being a public figure has not really sunken in. There have been instances before where strangers have recognised and approached me. But the story and this incident, reminds me that there could also be others who might be observing me without me knowing. Now as a seminarian, more so as a priest. This means that I could be proclaiming Christ through my actions, or a cause of scandal for others by my actions.
But I think the scarier thing would for me to be so conscious of myself and image, that it becomes hypocritical. That I do good so that others may see, or portray a front, instead of changing the inner-reality of my life. Thus I pray for the grace to change my life, so that what is inside me, is what people see on the outside, "the name of Christ on my shoulders". Or as the bishop would say during the ordination rite when he hands the book of Gospels over
"believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach."