My Spiritual Journal

Novena - Do You Recognise God's Voice

2012-01-23T00:44:00.002+08:00

This week I attended a bible sharing with some university students, and they were reflecting on this Sunday’s Gospel passage. One girl remarked “I can’t believe that Jesus just approached the fishermen Simon, Andrew, James and John, and said to them ‘Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men’, and they just left everything and followed him, How did they know he was the Messiah, not some mad man? Didn't they ask him who he was, listen to what he was teaching first, make sure he was the Messiah first before agreeing to follow him?"

I don’t believe that St Mark was trying to say that was exactly how it happened. But what St Mark was trying to say was, that when God calls, it is an invitation to respond, and that is what the fishermen did.

But the problem is, how do we know when God is calling us, and what he is calling us to do? Like the university student, we all want some kind of surety. We want to know is that really God's voice? Is that what he really wants me to do?

Sometimes I get jealous when I read about the prophets in the Old Testament, how God speaks to them so directly. Like Jonah in todays 1st reading, and Mother Mary who had an angel appear to her. Why can't God speak to us like that? Then at least we can be sure of what he wants of us.

The truth is that God is still speaking to us today. The question that we need to ask ourselves is how familiar are we of the voice of God? I'm sure we all have experiences where we pick up the phone and just from the greeting of the other person, we know who it is. Especially if it is our mother or a very close friend. That is because we have spent much time speaking and listening to them that we know the sound of their voice, and even the way they talk.

So it us with God, we will only know his voice if we spend time in prayer with him. Not just praying for blessings and giving thanks, but in also listening to what he has to say, through the scriptures, the church, and even the Catholics around you.

How often we turn to God also plays a part to getting to know his will and call for us. Most people only associate God's call to the call to the priesthood, or when they have a major or difficult decision to make. But God is speaking to us everyday, even in the small things, trying to guide us in our lives if we only allow him to, and if we only ask him.

He may be saying to you that a colleague is going through a tough time and just needs a listening ear, or for you to invite your friend for Mass one day. Try asking God in the morning, what do you want me to do today.

The more we pray, the more we ask him to reveal his plan for us, the closer we will grow to him, and the more familiar we will be of his voice. So when he really asks something big of us, we will be a bit more sure that it is him speaking to us.

Then we just need to have a bit of courage and trust, and do it. We don't need to be 100% sure. The prophets, the disciples and even Mother Mary were not 100% sure of what good was asking of them. It is only as they lived out God's call that they became more and more sure.

So let us pray that we too may be more aware of God's call in out lives, and we continue to grow closer to him. Amen.

Novena - What's your Good News

2011-12-31T18:42:00.000+08:00

Someone sent me an email with a story a few days ago, just as I was preparing what to share at today’s novena. And I found it very apt, and would like to share it with you.

On New Year’s Eve, a man and his wife were having dinner and reflecting on all that has happened in the past year. The husband started to complain of how bad the year was. His father got cancer, he had to take a pay cut, the dog died, and the list went on.

The wife was listening patiently, when all of a sudden, she said, “Don’t you think our Christmas Tree is very beautiful?” The husband was shocked at the sudden change of subject, but nodded to agree.

The wife continued, “but if you look carefully, there are a few of the bulbs that have blown. But why focus on those few bulbs, when the rest are shining brightly illuminating the tree and the room?” The husband got the message, and they started to share the many blessings they had in the year.

My brothers and sisters, it is so natural for us to focus on the negatives in our lives, the times when things don’t go the way we want them to. Just look at our newspapers everyday, bad news and scandals greatly outnumber the good news. MRT breaks down and it is the biggest news in Singapore. Orchard Road floods, and as made fun of on the Noose, we call police.

The problem with us, is that we only notice when something goes wrong, not when something goes right. MRT, floods, traffic jam, economy downturn. But you don’t see the news reporting that today the MRT and Buses ran without problem, or that it rained but there were no floods. If we look at the letters that we write in for Novena, only 80 out of 437 are thanksgiving letters (<20%). Isn’t that like the looking at the Christmas tree and seeing the bulbs that are blown?

Actually the News is not only Bad News, it also highlights when amazing things or miracles happen. But it is so easy to overlook the things that normal. Parents will always complain that their children take all that they do for them for granted. Why? Because for the children that is what parents should do normally. Similarly we take God for granted, when we only turn to him at the times when things go wrong, or we give thanks to him when he answers our prayers and makes miracles happen.

My brothers and sisters, we are people of the Good News. That God loved us so much, he sent Jesus, His Son, to remind us of the love of God, and the many blessings that we receive from Him.

So what is the Good News in your life?

Today is the last day of the year, we usually look forward to the New Year and make Resolutions to be a better person. But let us not forget to look back at the year, and count the blessings that God has done for us this whole year. I tell you honestly, if you start now and really think of the blessings, you will not be finished by the time this year is over.

So I would like to give you this challenge. Go home today, think of your blessings, and in this one week, write a thanksgiving letter, to God for his many blessings, and for our Mother who always intercedes for us. Put it in an envelope and write "Thanksgiving for Novena" and drop it in our parish office. So next week, we can really give thanks to God for his many blessings on us

I am sure that we have more to give thanks to God for His blessings than asking him for what we need. Amen.

Sharing on the readings of Tue 19th Jul 2011

2011-07-19T18:30:00.004+08:00

Yesterday evening, my sister and I went to NTUC to get some groceries for the family. The realisation dawned on me of how things have changed. In the past, it was our parents who bought all the household necessities. We just told them what we needed. Now having grown up, we realise our part in the family and chip in to look after the family's needs. The role of a child in the family is not one who just gets looked after, but as he grows older, he realises that he contributes and is involved in the matters of the family.

And that is what Jesus is reminding us today in the Gospel (Mt 12:46-50). There is a link between our identity (who we are) and our actions (what we do). In the passage Jesus says

whoever does the will of my heavenly Father IS my brother, and sister, and mother

He doesn't say that who ever does the will of the Father "WILL BECOME", insteads he say "IS" my brother, sister and mother.

Though it might seem like a play of words, but there is a difference between the two. One who "is" Jesus' brother, sister or mother knows that he is a child of God and that he belongs in God's family. And because he belongs to the family, he will do the will of the Father. But one who "will become" Jesus' brother, sister or mother, sees himself as outside of the family, and hopes to become a family member by doing the will of the Father.

In the past, I belonged to the second category. I saw God as someone I needed to obey, who will judge me and so I needed to be good to gain His love, to enter heaven. But as I journeyed and grew in my faith, I realised my identity as truly a child of God. I didn't need to work to gain His trust and His love, but I was already immensely loved by Him. And as a child of God, I wanted to do His will. Like Jesus said to his earthly parents when they found him in the temple:

Did you not know that I must be about my Father's work? - Lk 2:49

The question we need to ask ourselves is: Am I doing my Father's will in my life today?

If we are not, could it be that we have failed to realise that we are children of God? Or am I still a young child in the faith, not fully realising my responsibilities as a member of God's family.

The other problem could be forgetfulness. Not that we do not know that we are children of God, but that we get so distracted, or we believe the lies of the tempter that we forget who we are.

Let us pray that we might truly realise our identity as children of God, as brothers and sister of our Lord Jesus Christ. And pray for the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen us to know and do the will of our Father.

Sharing on the readings of Mon 18th Jul 2011

2011-07-18T06:30:00.004+08:00

When I read the Gospel passage of Mt 12:38-42, I used to think it was best not to ask God for a sign. After all Jesus said "It is an evil and unfaithful generation that seeks a sign".

But as I continue on my faith journey, I have come to realise that signs from God are important to help us grow in our faith. It assures us of God's presence with us on our journey, sometimes leading us, other times just to let us know He is there.

One sign which God gave me which I treasure was during a silent retreat that I went for. During that retreat, it was about 5 prayer sessions of 1 hour each a day. And of course after a few days, I started to lose focus and was getting a bit tired or lazy. So there was one prayer session that I felt that my prayer was really dry and fruitless. And I started to bargain with God to let me do 30 mins, or 45 mins instead of the full hour.

I tried to persevere on, but I couldn't get my mind focused on the bible passage, and so I started to look around for something to distract me, and I saw a trail of ants. The ants were just industriously walking up and down the trail, I think to find food or something.

I was really so bored and distracted at the time, that I decided to search whether the bible mentions "ants". And so I searched and found the passage Proverbs 6:6

Go to the ant, you lazybones; consider its ways, and be wise.

And I knew that God was showing me a sign, to remind me not to be lazy, but to be faithful like the ant, even if the task may seem boring or routine.

Back to the Gospel passage. If signs from God are beneficial to us, why did Jesus say what he said? It is not that signs are bad, but signs cannot be the foundation of our faith. Our faith needs to be built on our relationship with God, not external signs.

Take the example of dating vs marriage. In the beginning stages of the relationship, both parties give lots of signs of their love for the other, gifts, smses, etc. But as the relationship deepens, these external signs no longer play such an important role in expressing the love between the two.

It is the same with God, our relationship with him needs to be deepened, where it is strengthened by external signs, but not dependent on them. If we fail to reach that stage, we will be like the Israelites in the 1st Reading (Exodus 15:1bc-2, 3-4, 5-6) who despite the signs that God has shown them, complain at the first sign of difficulty, and wanting to go back to slavery in Egypt.

Our relationship with God cannot be one where he is a vending machine giving us signs whenever we want them. But it should be based on the trust that he truly is God and loves us immensely. The one most important sign that He gave us, as what Jesus says in the Gospel, is that of Jesus Christ who died for our sins and rose again to give us hope.

Remember that during the times in our lives where we may fail to see God's signs in our lives, it could be that he is testing and strengthening our faith in him, that we still believe even if we don't see. As Jesus said to doubting Thomas:

You believe because you can see me. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe - Jn 20:29

It is Me lah!

2011-04-27T08:46:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's reading (Jn 20:11-18) about Mary Magdalene's encounter with the Risen Lord reminded me of my experience at this year's Easter Vigil.

Before the Liturgy of the Light, everyone was gathered around the fire at the entrance of the church. I was standing with the Fr Brian and the Altar Servers, waiting for it to start. I looked around and saw a priest in his chasuble standing at the back. I didn't recognise him, and I thought it must be a visiting priest come to join in the celebration. So I went up to him and said "Father, we are about to start, would you like to join us near the fire. He gave a laugh and said "It is me lah!". Then I realised that it was Fr Bosco. He had shaven his head and beard. He looked totally different.

I have heard that Fr Bosco had done this before during Easter, but still the sight before me left me in shock. I found myself staring trying to figure out how the hair and beard could change one's appearance so drastically. I recalled the Mas Selamat posters with him in a beard and clean shaven, and it did not look so different.

Back to yesterday's reading. As I compared Mary Magdalene's experience of the Risen Lord, with my encounter with Fr Bosco's new look, I realised the similarities.

Mary was looking for the dead Jesus' body. I was also expecting a bearded Fr Bosco, the one I was used to.

Mary recognised Jesus when he called her. I also recognised Fr Bosco by his voice, when he said "it is I lah!".

Mary would probably have known that Jesus had said that he would rise on the third day. I knew that Fr Bosco had previously shaved his head for Easter, and many people did not recognise him, and yet when I saw him, it didn't cross my mind.

Looking forward to the last day when I brought before Christ, I know that this scenario will play itself out again.

Though I know that Christ will be different from what I imagine him to be, I will still be clinging on to my image of what Christ should look like, and may not recognise him. I just pray and hope that when that day comes, I will be able to recognise his voice when he says to me, "It is Me lah!."

Here's a video to bring you some joy and laughter.
Jesus Christ is risen indeed.

Click this link if you cannot see the video.

Palm Sunday - Short Film

2011-04-18T13:48:00.001+08:00

Just saw a great short film on Palm Sunday.

Click this link if you cannot see the video.

What was going on in your mind during the "long" passion reading?

Get Clean

2011-04-15T18:56:00.002+08:00

I just saw this video on Youtube.

Click this link if you cannot see the video.

Just thought that it is a great reminder of how liberating the Sacrament of Reconciliation can be.

So for those of you who haven't gotten clean yet, there are still penitential services this evening and monday evening. Click here to see the schedule

Let's prepare ourselves to celebrate the wonderful mystery of Christ's Passion, Death and Resurrection that gives us Hope.

There are two chicks on my balcony

2011-04-01T23:04:00.005+08:00

Update from my previous blog entry about the birds building the nest on my balcony. The nest was built pretty fast in about 4 days, after which the birds seemed to disappear, until one day I saw a familiar beak sticking out of the nest.

Laying/Incubating the Eggs

I knew that the eggs had hatched when one morning, I didn't see the mother bird in the nest. So I took a closer look and saw the beak of the chick sticking out.

Closeup of the Nest

And sure enough, during the day I see the two parent birds flying to the nest, I hear the hungry chirps of the chicks as they bring them food.

Father Feeding the Chicks

Mother Feeding the Chicks

Closeup of the Mother

Closeup of the Father

Off to find more food

The two parents fly back and forth the whole day to find and bring food back to feed their chicks.

This is where I have to stand to take the photos.

One thing this has taught me is patience. As the opening of the nest is facing out of my balcony, I have to take the photos from the window in the bathroom. And as the hungry chicks devour the food their parents bring them, each stopover lasts less than 10 seconds. So I have to stand on the chair in the bathroom, holding my hand up with the camera sticking out of the window, patiently waiting for the parent bird to fly in. As I can't look out the window, I have to rely on the chirping of the chicks to tell me when the parent bird is there. And if I'm too slow, it is another 5-10 minutes of waiting before the next feed. So I stand there praying that the birds will be able to find food quickly.

2012 - End Of The World

2011-03-23T22:31:00.003+08:00

On the Sunday after the earthquake in Japan, I was at a bible sharing session, when this question was put to me.

"In light of the recent earthquakes & natural disasters around the world, is this the sign of the end of the world?"

I put the question to the other members of the group, and found more fuel added to the discussion on the end of the world.

the pale green horse seen on video footage of the Egypt demonstrations

the end of the world in 2012 as seen in the movie, based on the Mayan calendar

Usually I would give the answer from scripture, that only the Father knows the time and the day (Mk 13:32). But this time I asked them what if it were true, what if the end of the world was really around the corner? How would this "news" affect or change your life? Would you enjoy yourself and do all the things you want to do before the world ends? Would you repent of your sins before facing judgement day?

The surprising thing is they did not think so far. It is easy to get caught up in the sensationalism of the whole end of the world thing. Is it true? Are the prophecies in the book of Revelations happening now?

But this is what the world without Christ is concerned about. The focus is on the End of the World, because it is the end of life for them. But for us Christians, we believe it is not the end of our life. We are focused on the eternal life that has been won for us by Christ, and awaits us as a gift, all we need to accept that gift in our lives. So all these events remind us that we are all mortal, our lives are all in God's plan.

So how do we react to these things are happening.

if you think the end of the world is coming, so it is a time for enjoying life to the fullest, then what a pity, there is no life for you after 2012.

if you think the end of the world is coming, and it is time to repent, good for you, but don't get disappointed if life continues. At least you turned back to God, though not for the right reason.

if you think these events are a call for you to be thankful for your blessings, and that it is a call for you to share these blessings with those affected by these natural disasters, then happy are you, for the message of God has touched and changed your life, and you are living the Kingdom of God here and now.

At the Conversion Retreat, Fr Goh told us of a pastor who told his flock that all we need to do to get to heaven, is to repent 1 day before we die. The problem is we will never know when we are going die. Thus the call as emphasized during lent, is to repent, and turn back to God, who loves us so much, and is just waiting for us to return so that he can shower us with his abundant blessings.

Garden vs Desert - 1st Sunday of Lent

2011-03-13T22:18:00.001+08:00

We have often heard it said, that for those who handle large amounts of money or hold important positions, we need to pay them well to prevent the temptation of corruption. Or others who say, "Let me earn enough... before I can ...".

An interesting thought came to me as I was at Mass today, and reflecting on the readings. When we compare the environment in the First Reading (Gn 3:1-7) and the Gospel (Mt 4:1-11), we see two drastic contrasting situations. In the Garden of Eden, also known as Paradise, it was a land of abundance, where Adam & Eve had all they needed to meet their needs. On the opposite end, we have the Wilderness or Desert, where Jesus was, with no food or water, a sparse cruel land.

If we use the thinking mentioned above, one would think that Adam & Eve would be more than satisfied with all that they had, wanting nothing more. And Jesus having fasted for forty days and "was hungry". would have been craving for his first bite to break his fast.

And yet we see the irony, the one who had everything fell for the temptation of the devil to eat the forbidden fruit. And the one who was hungry was able to resist the temptation to change stones into bread. Sounds like some topsy-turvy fantasy world. It just doesn't make sense.

But it does when we reflect further, and it is linked to the recommended practice of Fasting, especially during this time of lent. It is not so much about the giving up of something that we like, but it is the reminding ourselves that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God. Fasting helps us to realise that the only necessary thing we need in our lives is God. It helps us to realise that we can live 40 days without chocolate, cigarettes, facebook, or whatever may seem to have taken precedence over God in our lives.

The readings remind us that it is foolish to think that if we acquire what we need and what we want, we will be satisfied. Because there will always be more money to be earned, more possessions to have, more new things to do than we will ever have the time to try them all. It is when we fast, that we enter the desert like Jesus, and realise the superfluousness (cheem word I learnt recently - means unnecessary) of so many material things in our lives.

So let us enter the desert, where in the silence and emptiness, we will hear God's voice, enter into His embrace and experience His love that satisfies all hearts.

Life-Giving

2011-03-11T21:36:00.002+08:00

In the last week, the theme of being life-giving has been coming up over and over again.

First it was an article in the newspaper where a MP conducted a straw poll, finding that there is a tipping point, a monetary value of benefits that the government can offer to women to encourage them to have children. It was suggested that an amount of $500,000, half a million dollars would change the minds of some childless women. I wonder if that is the real reason why couples (not only the woman) are not having children? Is it that it is too expensive to raise a child in this day and age? Or is it a matter of values and attitudes towards child-bearing and being life-giving. Could it be the notion that having a child is too troublesome, restricts the freedom, limits career prospect, which is delaying or stopping couples from having children.

This was contrasted when we were doing the story of Jephthah's daughter in Jdg 11, who went to bemoan her virginity because she was going to die before fulfilling the mission of her womanhood - that of bearing a child. There are so many stories of women in the bible (Sarah,...etc), where being barren is seen as a curse, and when they are gifted with a child, there is much thanks to God for the gift and blessing that the child is.

Furthermore, I have the two birds flying to and fro, building their nest on my balcony, one strand at a time. These birds with their "small little bird brains" compared to our human intelligence, yet are able to know their purpose and to bring forth new life. Seeing them fly tireless to-and-fro weaving the nest strand by strand, surely limits their "freedom", taking up 4 whole days, reminds and challenges me that I have to be life-giving and tireless in living out this Mission and Vocation that God has called and entrusted to me.

Talking about being life-giving, Wednesday during our afternoon-off, I joined 2 other brother seminarians as they went to donate blood. This was my first time donating blood, and on our journey to the blood bank, I asked both to share why they regularly donate blood. One brother shared that when his father was in hospital and needed blood, it was readily provided, and as such he feels that he wants to donate, so that others too may have blood when they need it. The other brother who is from Malaysia, shared the situation back home, where if a person requires blood for an operation, they will be required to find donors to replace the number of packets used.

Listening to their sharings, and after going through the relatively simple, painless and fast process of donating blood, I started to reflect on this whole experience. Firstly, why have I not donated blood before? It was not that troublesome or time-consuming. In fact there was a guy who was there next to me, who came on his birthday. He had taken a half-day off for his birthday, and there he was donating blood. I guess for myself it was the lack of awareness, or urgency. Most of the time it would need a dramatic situation to jerk me out of my comfort zone. But thankfully I have these 2 brothers who encouraged and motivated me with their own inspiring examples.

Secondly, what is my motivation for donating blood? In the army, those who donate blood get to skip strenuous exercise for the day. For me, it would be the free chocolate brownie and Milo at the cafe after donating blood. Jokes aside, as it is understood in the Old Testament by the Jews, that blood is life, then donating blood would be one of the ways that I can be life-giving. I am just satisfied that my blood can be a gift of someone in need. In fact I would recommend everyone who is physically able, to donate regularly. There is always someone in need of it, don't wait till you need it then realise the importance of it.

Rosy Cheeks or Blind & Bogay

2011-03-03T08:00:00.002+08:00

A young boy once asked me this riddle:

"How do you tell the difference between a person in heaven and a person in hell?"
"One has a halo and wings, the other has horns?"
"No. The one in heaven has rosy cheeks and is fit and muscular, the one in hell is blind and bogay (no teeth)".
"How is that so?"
"Because the one in hell takes a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. The one in heaven has rosy cheeks because he offers the other cheek when he is slapped, and fit because he walks two miles when others walk one."

While this riddle takes what Jesus said in the Gospel (Mt 5:38-48) literally, it does help us visualize the difference between the life of love and the life of hatred. The life of hatred allows hatred and vengeance to perpetuate which will result in a world full of blind and toothless people. But in a world of love and forgiveness, the one who receives injury or insult, puts a stop to it by not taking revenge. He in fact tries to further eradicate hatred by "going that extra mile", by loving the enemy. In loving the enemy, it is not so much doing something good to gain our own salvation, but by loving the enemy, we are trying to help change the person to be better person.

In the battle between good and evil, love and hate, I use scenes from two movies to remind of what Christ was trying to teach us.

First in the movie "Fearless" starring Jet Li, we see the cycle of hatred going on, when first Jet Li's disciple is beaten up by, he goes to take revenge and ends up killing his rival. His rival's godson then takes revenge by killing his wife and child. Jet Li then goes to his rival's house, but before he can get his revenge, the rival's godson commits suicide, denied of his revenge, he turns to his rival's wife and child. In the principle of an eye for an eye, he could have had his revenge for what he himself lost. But he comes to his senses, and walks away. Thus we see how hatred can only stop when one party decides not to revenge a hurt.

The second movie, illustrates Christ call to love. In the movie, "Pay It Forward", a boy Trevor starts a class assignment on a plan to make the world a better place. He decides to do 3 good deeds and he tells the recipients of the good deeds not to repay him, but to do 3 good deeds to someone else. In one chain we see Trevor helping his mum, who in turn forgives her mother, who helps a gang member, who in turn saves a girl's life, and then the Father of the girl gives away his car to a journalist whose car was smashed. At the end of the movie, we see how one boy's initiative touches the lives of so many people.

This is the question that we are faced with - Do we want to be part of the chain that passes on hatred, or the chain that spreads love?

New Neighbours

2011-03-01T15:58:00.004+08:00

This weekend, I was blessed with an encounter with 2 soon-to-be parents. On Saturday afternoon, these 2 yellow birds started flying to my balcony, and entertaining me with their chirping and gymnastics on my laundry line.

I was wondering why they came repeatedly to my balcony, when I saw one of the birds bringing some sort of fibre or grass and trying to attach it to the line. Then I knew that they were trying to build a nest. But try as they might, they were not successful, the strips kept falling to the floor. Evening came, and the birds did not return.

To my joy, the birds were back on Sunday morning, when I came back to my room at 8am after breakfast. They were chirping away and still trying to build the nest. I wished I could stay in my room to enjoy their company, but we were having the Seminary Open House, so I had to go and meet the visitors and introduce the seminary to them.

Imagine my surprise when I came back to my room at lunchtime, to see that they had ingeniously used a clothes-peg on the line as an anchor, and started to build their nest around it. Looks like I will be having constant visitors and entertainment in the coming days. Praise the Lord for this wonderful blessing and encounter with His creation.

But like the story about good luck, bad luck that I wrote about once before, this weekend I suffered a small loss. I dropped my camera, during the open house. And though it didn't seem like that hard a knock, it is not able to take any more photos. Luckily, I was able to take out the last few photos I took of the birds and the nest. Now I just have to take photos with the camera on my phone, or borrow a camera from one of the brothers.

But then again, maybe not bad luck, but good luck. Maybe its a sign to get a new camera, or to detach, since lent is coming. Hmm...

One of my brother seminarians mentioned that now I can't use my laundry line to hang my clothes to dry. But I guess its a small price to pay. What's a little inconvenience compared to this gift of encountering God's creation at work. I wonder how many eggs and baby birds God will bless me with.

Praise the Lord for this wonderful blessing.

God Is Calling Me To Marriage

2011-01-31T09:23:00.002+08:00

This is the article that I wrote for last year's seminary magazine "The Journey 2010". When I first proposed the title of the article, I got many puzzled looks and jokes about whether I was going through a vocation crisis. Read the article to find out more.

I once asked a boy in a confirmation camp, what was stopping him from being holy. And his reply was “I don’t want to become a priest”. That answer surprised me. But when I got that same answer from another boy at that camp, it got me thinking. Why was holiness exclusive to the Priesthood? It seems that for those boys, if one were to be holy, it was because he was thinking of becoming a priest, which means that a normal lay person does not have to be holy, or at least not so holy. Sadly this view is shared by many Catholics,

Call to Holiness
In that same line, if I were to ask a young person today “have you discerned your vocation?”, often the answer would be, “no lah, I don’t think that God is calling me to be a priest/nun” The word “vocation” has come to be synonymous with the priesthood and religious life. Partly it could be that the usage of the word has always been linked to priesthood and religious life. Think of terms like “Vocation Sunday” and “Vocation Promotion Team”.

Part of my journey in my renewal of faith in 2003 was to discover what it meant to be Catholic, what it meant to be a disciple of the Lord. I learnt from the Parable of the Rich Young Man (Mt 19:16-22), that it was not just about keeping the commandments, but to follow Christ. And it was in the Lord’s Prayer that I found my answer – “your will be done on earth as it is heaven”. Having prayed that prayer so many times, I realised that it is not an abstract prayer that somewhere, sometime and someone will do God’s will, but that I as Christian, am praying that I may do the Lord’s will in my life. I knew then that I had to discern my vocation. To grow in holiness meant doing the Lord’s will, which meant discerning and living out the call, the vocation that He had made me for.

The Call to Marriage
One of the most common questions I get asked is "how do you know that God is calling you to priesthood?" Recently I have tried a new response to that question. If the one asking is a married person, I would ask them "how do you know that God called you to marriage?" Often the response would be a blank stare or forced laughter. Sometimes the honest ones will say they never really discerned or that they were not that holy when they got married. Then I would ask them how they are living out their marriage vocation now. Silence again.

Vocation Crisis
We often hear that the Church is facing a Vocation Crisis, because of the dwindling numbers entering the priesthood and religious life. But I believe the real Crisis in Vocations is that our Catholics have stopped believing that God has a Will for each and everyone. If our married couples do not see their marriage as part of their call from God to live a life of holiness, are they truly living out a married vocation? Or is their marriage just the same as any non-Catholic marriage.

If every young person were to be asking God “Lord, how do you want me to live my life?”, I am sure that not only will we have more priestly and religious vocations. We will have stronger marriages and better Catholic families where the faith is lived out.

God is Calling Me to Marriage
In my ministry, I have had the privilege of meeting some couples who have shared how God called them to the marriage vocation. But the number of them are fewer than the number of seminarians we have in the seminary. My wish is for all young people to discover God’s call in their lives, so that they will be able to grow in holiness. And also for those who are already married, to find out and live out their marriage as a vocation. It is a call to love, to serve, to lay down their lives for their spouse, for their family, and be the light of Christ in the world.

To read the rest of the articles in the Journey 2010, you can download the pdf version at this link.

Fall on your knees

2010-12-26T16:12:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas to one and all!
I just want to share a wonderful encounter I had with the Lord this Christmas.

I was at Mass on Christmas Day, it was just after Communion, and I was praying when the choir started to sing O Holy Night for the Thanksgiving Hymn. As I reflected on having just received Christ, the words of the song started to strike me. How we in the world wearied by sin is pining for the Lord, and His coming frees us and fills us with joy and light. And of course when the choir sang the chorus, I trembled with the awe of just being on my knees before our Lord, imagining what the shepherds might have felt kneeling before the baby Jesus in the simple manger.

I hope that this Christmas was as good for you as it was for me. God Bless.

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Becky Kelley - Where's the Line to See Jesus

2010-12-15T11:56:00.002+08:00

Just saw this music video on Youtube.
Found in quite appropriate for reflection on the spirit of Christmas

So where is Jesus in your Christmas this year?

Novena - Bringing Christ to Others

2010-12-11T16:45:00.001+08:00

As we enter into the 3rd Week of Advent, I would like to share with you an encounter which gave me a new way of looking at the season of Advent.

Two years ago, a family invited me over to their home for dinner. As I was making my way to their place, I was making some plans in my mind. Here I am, a seminarian being invited for dinner, I was asking God what could I do for them. And so I decided that, after dinner, just before I left the house, I would suggest if I could lead them into a short time of prayer together as a family.

So after dinner, I was chatting with the parents, and just as I was about to make my big suggestion, they asked me, “brother, would you like to join us in our night prayer?”. I was a bit taken aback by the change in my plans, but still it gave me an opportunity to pray with them, and so I agreed. To my surprise the five children went to their rooms and brought out their bibles. I, myself didn’t bring my bible, but luckily I had an electronic version in my phone, so I said I would use that. It amazed me to see this family coming together every night to pray, reading the bible, especially since the youngest one was only 5 years old.

To top it off, at the end of the sharing, the mother asked them what would be their advent project for the year. They finally agreed on donating food items to the Boys’ Brigade Share-A-Gift project, which gives food to the needy. They made plans the next day to go down to NTUC to buy the items, and the youngest even volunteered the $20 ang pow her grandma had given to her.

I went home that night, truly humbled, by what the Lord had given me the opportunity to experience. Here I was thinking that I would be leading this family in prayer, and there the Lord threw aside all my plans in showing my the deep faith of the family. As amazing as that is, that is not the only thing that I took back that night. This family challenged me in terms, what was I doing during this Advent period. How was I preparing myself for the arrival of the Lord.

I thought that I was doing a lot in my prayer, reflecting on the mystery of Christ’s birth. Not being caught up with the materialistic, consumerism of Christmas shopping. And here this family was not looking at themselves, but thinking of others and how they can share their blessings with those who were in need.

What this family did, was what our dear Blessed Mother herself did. After the angel Gabriel told her that she was going to be the Mother of Jesus, she could have spent that time praying, reflecting on her own blessings. But instead she set off to her cousin Elizabeth’s place, because she was in her old age, and 6 months pregnant, needing all the help she can get.

What our Blessed Mother brought to Elizabeth was more than just physical aid, but she brought the child Jesus that she was carrying in her. When we look at ourselves today, can we also imitate Mother Mary. Are we carrying Christ within us, in all the blessings, the love that God has showered on us? Or is Christ outside of us, that we are still waiting for him to be born in our lives? If He is in our lives, are we able to bring that love of God to those around us, especially those in need?

As we come in prayer to Our Lady, and adore the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, let us pray that in the remaining 2 weeks of Advent, we may recognize that Christ is dwelling in each of us, and we may take the time to make His love present to others too. Amen.

Reflections on the Solemnity of Christ the King

2010-11-21T09:04:00.001+08:00

As we come to the last Sunday of the Liturgical Year, it is always the celebration of the Solemnity of Christ the King. And I would like to share with you an interesting clip I saw that highlights the Kingship of Christ. It is from the movie 300, which is about Leonidas, king of Sparta, who led 300 men to defend his land from an invasion by the Persian army led by their "god-king" Xerxes. In this clip, we see a negotiation between Leonidas and Xerxes.

The video clip can't be embedded, because it is copyrighted. So click on this link to view it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXaTcZWBfC0

There are a few points in the dialogue between the two which struck me, highlighting the contrasting ideas of what kingship was. And I found that I could relate Leonidas' kingship with Christ's kingship of love, self-sacrifice and freedom. In contrast Xerxes kingship can be equated to the devil's kingship of false promises, fear, oppression and pain.

Xerxes / Devil	Leonidas / Christ
- would gladly kill any of his own men for victory	- would die for any one of his men
- has slaves	- has warriors who were free men

What Xerxes does, is like what the devil did to tempt Jesus after his forty days in the desert: a promise of power and fame, if Jesus would only bow before him. And just as Leonidas stood up to Xerxes, Jesus stood up to the devil, because he knew who was the true source of power and good.

This is what we need to reflect on today - Is Jesus really our king? We know that he was willing to die for any one of his men, to free them from the hands of the evil one. Have we then experienced his kingship in our lives? Are we marching in his army, under his banner, following his lead? Are we as Leonidas says, free men who stood against a tryant, the evil one?

Let us then today truly acknowledge Christ as our king, bending our knee before him, pledging our allegiance, following his commands, and be his army in establishing God's kingdom here on earth.

How one generation loves – the next generation learns

2010-08-09T02:31:00.001+08:00

After finishing my 30-day silent retreat in June, it took some time to get updated on what had been happening in Singapore, and also clearing all the emails that had piled up. One email I received was on the new video that the National Family Council has produced and currently showing on TV. For those of you who haven’t seen the ad, watch the video below before reading on.

This ad struck me because of the tagline at end – “How one generation loves – the next generation learns”. During my retreat, we were given many passages of the life of Jesus to pray and reflect on. And on one of the days, I was given the passage from Luke 2:39-40 to reflect on.

“When they had finished everything required by the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.”

This passage comes after the child Jesus is presented in the Temple. After that we see Jesus as an adult at his Baptism and starting his ministry. So my Retreat Master, told me to reflect on the life of Jesus growing up. The life of Jesus from the time that he was 12 up to 30 is not talked about in the bible. So I had to imagine what Jesus did during that time.

As I was praying, an image came to me of Mother Mary teaching Jesus, his Hebrew ABCs, maybe some mathematics, and St Joseph teaching him how to use the carpentry tools. Then I imagined Mary & Joseph teaching Jesus to pray to God. This was a bit surprising and funny, because I started to wonder, would Jesus need to be taught how to pray? After all he is the Son of God. But then I thought why not? Jesus would not only have learnt how to pray from His parents, but also their example of their love of God in their lives would also have been something that He learnt as he was growing up.

This led me to reflect on my own life. And it made me think of what I have learnt from my parents. Sure they taught me how to speak, how to write, how to ride a bicycle. But more than, that I was grateful for the lessons which I learnt from the example of their lives. I learnt about the faith and how to pray. I still remember once when I asked my mum about being a godmother, and she told me how she prays for all her god-children every night. It made me wonder, if she prays for her god-children every night, how much more must she be praying for me. From them I learnt how to be generous with my time, energy and possessions. And I came out of that prayer session feeling really blessed by God for the wonderful gift of my parents.

So today I would like each one of us here to reflect on two things. Firstly, what have we learnt from our parents? What kind of values and what kind of faith have we learnt from them?

And secondly, for those of you who are parents, what are you teaching your children? Not just by what you say, but by how you live your lives. I know of parents who will tell their children to pray and to obey God. But when it comes to their children’s studies, that will come before God. The children can have many enrichment classes, but Catechism class will be the first to be sacrificed if there is a clash.

So often we hear of parents telling their children to stop watching tv or playing the computer and to do their homework. How many parents tell their children to stop doing their homework because its time to read the bible or to pray? And this is not just for parents of young children. Even if your child is an adult, parents do play a role in the salvation of their children. St Monica prayed continuously for her adult son to change his ways, and God answered his prayers, he not only converted, he became a bishop and now we know him as St Augustine.

Let us give thanks for our parents and all that they have taught and inspired us. And let us ask our blessed Mother, to help us be good Christian examples for our children, the way she was for Jesus. Amen.

Reflections on the Easter Season

2010-05-12T09:37:00.001+08:00

Each year, Lent and Easter occur around the time the Spring season begins. Significant because Spring is the time of new life, when trees start to bud and flowers start to bloom. And so we too celebrate the new life that Christ has gained for us in His death and resurrection.

Spring is also the time when farmers start their sowing and planting to grow their crops to be harvested in Autumn. In preparation for the planting, the land first has to be cleared of rocks, weeds and even the crops from the previous harvest. Then the land has to be ploughed to loosen the soil hardened over the winter as well as to aerate it.

When we look at our spiritual life, this clearing and ploughing is what we do during the season of Lent, when we observe the spiritual exercises of Fasting, Prayer and Almsgiving. These help us to rid our lives of the harmful attachments in our lives as well as to open our lives to a closer relationship with God.

After the land is cleared, the farmer has to decide what crops and fruits he would like to harvest. This of course would determine what seeds he would plant in the field. But as nature has planned it, the plants that grow the quickest after the land is cleared are usually the weeds. These sprout and cover the land rapidly, blocking out sunlight and depriving the planted seeds of nutrients from the ground. Any good farmer would know that ploughing and planting is only half the job. He would have to remove the weeds, water and fertilize the plants that he has planted.

Similarly for us, in our spiritual life, our Lenten exercises are only half the job done. We too have to “plant” certain practices that will bear the fruits that we want to see in our spiritual life. Easter is that season where we start to live out that new life. Not only just planting, but we too have to be aware of the “weeds”, that were cleared during Lent, which have a quick tendency of returning into the “fields” of our lives if we are not careful.

So let this Easter be a time of planting and growing in our spiritual lives, that we may enjoy the fruits and graces that God wants to shower on us.

Lent Seasoning

2010-03-04T10:55:00.001+08:00

When we use the word "season" for Lent, we are usually referring to the period of fourty days of preparation before Easter. But the word "season" also bears another meaning, which the dictionary defines as "to improve and enhance the flavour of food"

I remember when I was young, there was this Maggi Seasoning in its uniquely shaped bottle, that I would add to my half boiled eggs to enhance the taste and flavour. This same seasoning was used by my mum to marinate everthing from chicken and pork to stir-fried vegetables.

It is this image of seasoning and marinating that I find relevant to the season of Lent. When we season a piece of meat before cooking, we usually cover the meat with the seasoning, making sure that it is completely covered, sometimes even rubbing or massaging so that the seasoning will go into the meat. Often we would leave the meat to soak in the seasoning to allow the flavour to soak all the way through.

Similarly when we look at our "Lenten Seasoning", we are given forty days to be "marinated" by the various Lenten Practices that we are undertaking. First what are we seasoning ourselves with? There are the 3 practices of Fasting, Almsgiving and Prayer that the Church recommends as the best seasoning. Because they help us look at 3 areas in our lives. Fasting looks at our lives and what are the things that we have allowed to take control of our lives, not just food, but other distractions or addictions. Almsgiving makes us look at others, not just about giving money, but giving our time, energy and love. And prayer of course makes us turn back to God.

Meat that is seasoned properly makes it tender, enhances the taste, and it is not just on the surface that it can be washed away. So too our Lenten Seasoning, has to be something that transforms us internally. The effects of our fasting cannot be that we lose weight, but are we tempering our desires and feelings. Our almsgiving cannot result just in a lighter wallet, but are we more aware of the needs of others and growing in our relationships. And our prayer has to result in an increase in our relationship and love of God. Though we will stop our lenten practices at Easter, the effects of a properly "seasoned" person will continue in the lives we lead.

So let us pray that our Lenten Seasoning this year may not just be "garnishing" that is put on externally and just looks nice, but that it will truly transform us within to be tastier, tender and holier when we celebrate the gift of New Life at Easter.

Are our Radios Tuned?

2010-02-26T16:02:00.004+08:00

In the recent Superbowl, Budweiser came up with and advertisement about a group of plane crash survivors stranded on a deserted island. One of them managed to salvage the plane's radio, and there seems to be a glimmer of hope that they can make send out a distress signal and be rescued from the island.

Link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPDlAroblI

But another guy finds the plane's beverage cart, and it is filled with Budweiser beer. And we see the group lose interest in the radio, and start to drink, party and have fun. Budweiser probably intended the ad to emphasise on how beer brings fun and enjoyment in the now moment. But I don't think they realise that it also sends a message that beer drinking distracts people from the important things in life - Here being to be rescued off the island.

The ad reflects the current day mindset and culture that is being promoted, spend the money that you have earned or even before you earn it. Enjoy the pleasures of life. Live in the Now, let tomorrow worry about itself. Just like how just as the woman got the radio working, the guy tunes it to play music to liven up the party. The ad might seem funny and exaggerated, yet its scary how real it can reflect the lifestyle we are living, where we let ourselves be "controlled" by our need for "pleasure".

In life we can sometimes get distracted by the needs and pleasure of the present moment, and forget about the important thing in life - God and his promise of salvation. That there is a "tomorrow" that we are looking ahead, and not just about enjoying the "Today". It is thus that our Lenten practices help us to realise how we are controlled by our needs and pleasure. Fasting helps us to transcend our fleshly desires, Almsgiving helps us to not be ego-centric and to think of others in need, and Prayer helps us to remember God our salvation and our final destination.

Now that we are 10 days into Lent, lets look at what Lenten practices we have undertaken, and whether they are helping us to be in control of our earthly desires, and tune our "radios" to the salvation that God has graced us with.

Repent and Blog

2010-02-26T12:32:00.004+08:00

This Non Sequitur comic in the papers last week prompted me to blog again. I'm not really sure why the comic linked "repent" to blogging, but it did remind me that it is maybe it is time for me to blog again this Lent. Starting with some sharings that I did for Lauds and Vespers in the seminary, and also hopefully finish up the reflections on the "Last Seven Words of Christ" that I posted up for last year's Holy Week.

That Dreaded Time of the Year

2009-12-17T10:52:00.005+08:00

Yes its Christmas in a weeks time.
Which also means its the time when parishes are having the penitential services.
For some going for confession is like the dreaded exams that we have before we can enjoy the holidays.
Why do we have to go for confession twice a year before Christmas and Easter.

Fr Luke Fong started his blog two months ago, where he puts up his reflections once a week. And in his latest post he comments about the sacrament of reconciliation. He uses a story about "Sally and the Pearls" to explain the purpose and beauty behind the sacrament.

For myself, I too used to find it so difficult to go for confession. But after my wake-up call, I started to question all the rituals and practices I followed as a Catholic. And confessions was one of the hardest to come to terms with.

I remember there was the comparison of confession with taking a bath. Where we have to wash away our sins regularly. But somehow that analogy just did not cut it, or make me want to go for it any more than I had to.

It took me many years, but I finally realised how to make sense of confessions. And the answer did not lie in the confession itself, but in my understanding of our faith.

For most of my life, I have come to understand sin as bad actions, with bad consequences to the party that I've sinned against and also to myself because God does not like sin. But as I grew in my faith, I realised that its so easy to get caught up in the religious practices and the rules and regulations of the faith, that I was not aware that the most important element of being a Catholic is my relationships, with God and with those around me. That is why it is a faith more than a religion.

It is only when I started to look at Catholic faith from the relationship aspect, then I realised that sin wasn't so much a bad action, but anything that breaks my relationship with God, and others. And thus comes the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Too often we call it confession, which highlights just the act of confessing our sins, but we miss out the elements of repentence, and more often that it is a restoration of our broken relationship with God.

These days, I still have the uneasy feeling when I have to make my confession, because of the shame of sin and having to confront my own weakness. But what drives me to go for it regularly, is not about being washed clean from being dirty, but of how important do I see my relationship with God, and am I willing to confront the broken relationship and allow restoration and healing to take place.

I found this interesting cartoon on this guy's blog

I especially like this quote of his

I once heard somewhere that Confession is like the direct opposite of sinning. When you sin, you tend to want to do it, you feel good doing it, and you feel bad after. Confession, on the other hand, you don’t want to do it, you feel bad doing it, and you feel awesome after. I’d much rather go to Confession.

Offering video by eXcess

2009-11-16T09:45:00.003+08:00

The eXcess Youth Ministry in Christ the King recently posted up a video that was made by their Media Team. Quite a simple theme and very catchy background song.

Youtube Link to watch the video

It brought to mind the movie Pay It Forward where one act of kindness results in another act, and it goes on and on. Ironically I also saw an ad today titled "It all comes back to you", on how our bad acts can eventually come back to haunt us.

Youtube Link to watch the video

So the question is, are we passing on acts of love, care and kindness or acts of hate, anger, selfishness?

Butterfly Circus

2009-11-11T18:37:00.009+08:00

I just saw this video from a link on XT3.
Yup I still do check that social network site once in a while.
Cos it has great stuff like podcasts, videos and articles on the faith, that I use for my own personal spiritual growth as well as for my sessions.

Anyway I saw an article on the site about a short movie which won an award on the theme of hope. Then I saw that the lead actor is Nick Vujicic, and I knew it would be a good one. Nope, Nick Vujicic is no famous actor, he was born without limbs, but has found God's purpose for him in his life and goes around bringing hope to others through the faith and strength that he has coping with "situation".

So I watched the movie, and found it inspiring and it is actually quite a good one to show as an introduction to the other clips of Nick that can be found on Youtube.

So enjoy the movie and spread it around.
You can even download it if you want.
The Low Res Version is 109MB (but still very good quality)
The High Res Version is 193MB

Fr Stephen Yim Blogs His Homilies

2009-07-15T18:11:00.004+08:00

Fr Stephen Yim has decided to enter the cyber realm.
No he hasn't joined facebook, but he has decided to post his Sunday Homilies on a blog he created recently.

Sunday Homilies

Since he already types out and prints all his homilies when he preaches, and at the many requests and positive feedback he gets from the parishioners, a simple process of copy and pasting, allows him to share his preaching in cyberspace.

For those who attend Mandarin Mass, Fr Stephen also posts up his Mandarin homilies on another blog.

主日弥撒道理

I tried to put his Mandarin homily through Google translate, and got some quite hilarious results. Like "我会先救火" which means "I will first put out the fire" is translated as "I will fire you."

So far the online feedback about the blog has been rather positive, with a few who said they were glad to be able to read the homily online, either because they are out of the country, or had to attend Mass at another parish for some reason or the other.

My recent post on taking notes at Mass, mentioned that the Pope didn't need to take notes during Mass, because all the homilies he listens to can be found online. Now with Fr Stephen's blog, those attending the Mass would also be able to read and reflect on his homilies further after they go home. Although I hope it is not a reason to not pay attention when he is preaching at Mass. And it doesn't mean that we should stop writing down our reflections at Mass, as it includes our own reflections, or words from the readings that may not be in the homily.

Dancing With The Angels

2009-07-06T17:40:00.004+08:00

I heard this song at a funeral today. Simple song with meaningful lyrics. It reminded me of this post I read on a blog, about the new version of "Footprints in the Sand", where the guy and Jesus ended up dancing.

May we too look forward to our true home where we will be dancing with Jesus, the angels, and all our loved ones.

Dancing with the Angels
by Monk & Neagle

Memories surround me
but sadness has found me
i'd do anything for more time
never before has someone meant more
and i can't get you out of my mind
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know

chorus:
you're dancing with the angels
walking in new life
you're dancing with the angels
heaven fills your eyes
now that you're dancing with the angels

you had love for your family
love for all people
love for the Father, and Son
your heart will be heard
in your unspoken words
through generations to come
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know

bridge:
we're only here for such a short time
so i'm gonna stand up
shout out
and sing hallelujah
one day i'll see you again

Taking Notes During Mass

2009-07-04T16:00:00.000+08:00

Got this story in my email recently.

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. 'I've gone for 30 years now,' he wrote, 'and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.'

This started a real controversy in the 'Letters to the Editor' column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

'I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this ... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!'

And then Daniel does a post on his blog "Digital Donkey" about a conversation we had, where I shared with him an encounter I had with two girls who were using their mobile phones in church. (click here to read the post)

So here are my thoughts on the matter. I first started taking notes at mass after I had my spiritual conversion, and decided to take my faith more seriously. As a young boy I didn't understand the homily; As an Altar Server I was paid more attention to my sitting posture and thinking of what needs to be done on the altar; In the Army, homily time was for me to catch up on lost sleep. But it was only when I started to question and learn more about the faith and the Mass, that I realised that there was much more to the homily than I ever realised.

There are those preachers who keep you awake with the jokes and stories, but thats about all you remember of the homily. But when I started to ask myself, "what is God trying to speak to me in His Word today?", that I found many pearls of wisdom in the content that was preached.

I started out by scribbling short notes on the church bulletin margins. Then realising that I often misplaced or threw away the bulletins, I started to write them in a little notebook. And when I started to blog, and wanted to post my reflections up. I decided to write them straight into my PDA. Of course I got strange stares from the people around me, wondering why I'm playing games during mass. But luckily I was always around friends, so they knew what I was doing, and left me alone.

Here I would want to clarify on the term "Taking Notes". I did intially start by taking notes on the homily for later reflection. But then it progressed to recording down any word, phrase or even my own thoughts that struck me at the Mass, that I would like to bring back for further reflection. Thus the Mass and homily became not so much instructional as reflective and inspirational.

This is the reason why I quoted the story above. While the story counters the first man's argument that he does not remember the sermon. It kind of sounds like it's ok to forget about what the priest is preaching about. But why shouldn't I remember something from the sermon? Wouldn't it be great if we do bring home something from each Mass that will nourish our faith? Much has been said about the importance of both parts of the Mass, the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Shouldn't God's Word and the priest's homily also be as life transforming as receiving the Eucharist.

Of course there will be the argument that if it was that important a point or something that really strikes us, we will be able to remember it after the Mass. But the reality for me is that after the Homily, there are so many other things like the creed and the eucharistic prayer, that require my concentration, that I soon forget what was said in the readings and the homily. So for my own spiritual benefit, I choose to record down things for me to take home.

I wonder if the Pope writes anything down during Mass when someone else preaches. But then again, the homilies preached can all be found on the net, especially those by the Preacher of the Papal Household, Fr Canatalamessa.

On a final note, although not a very good reason. Just as in lectures, I find that when can write down things, it does help me to keep awake and pay better attention. And so while there are differing schools of thought about "taking notes" during Mass, I believe... No, I want to get the most out of each Mass I go for, and if by taking notes it is going to help me grow in my spiritual life and let the Word of God transform me, I think it is a good practice for me. Although I'll probably stick to Pen & Paper, because I don't want to be a bad example for youths and also adults to think that it is ok to be smsing during Mass.

(My phone not so hi-tech, so this post has been blogged from my computer ;)

Violence Against Women

2009-06-24T10:58:00.006+08:00

I saw this post on Sr Rose's Blog about the Our Lady of Angels Cathedral in LA having a Chapel of Violence against Women. It brought to mind the first time someone shared with me that she was verbally and physically abused by her husband at home.

The sad thing was the fear and shame that had prevented her from letting anyone know about it. Fear of how her husband might react if he found out that she had told someone. A fear so strong that she wouldn't even consider stepping into a counselling centre, afraid that the husband might find out. Shame of how others might see and judge them, their marriage and their lives which look perfect by worldly standards. And so she has had to put up a strong front, as if nothing has happened, when she is around her friends and even family.

As I spoke to her, I went from feeling the pain she's been suffering silently these year, to the anger at a man who would do that to his wife, to the helplessness of what more could I do, other than listening and offering her some professional options to find counselling and support.

As I kept her in prayer, the thought also occurred to me of how many more other women, whose marriages look perfect on the outside, but are suffering silently from an abusive husband. I used to think that it was a problem which was easily identifiable...if the husband is alcoholic, there's a high chance of domestic violence. But now I realised that anger and rage does not need alcohol to fuel it. We've seen in the papers in the last few years many cases of maid abuse. But the subject of domestic violence has not really been highlighted in our media.

Talking about media, there have been campaigns against domestic violence in the US, UK and Australia. A recent ad in the UK featuring actress Kiera Knightley caused a controversy for being to graphic and violent.

Youtube Link - Kiera Knightley - Cut Movie

Here's another ad from Australia

Youtube Link - Domestic Violence Commercial (Australian)

And another one from Canada

Youtube Link - Domestic Violence (Restaurant)

In Singapore we also had a series of ads on Verbal Abuse

Finally if you do know of families with domestic violence issues, here are a few places that will be able to provide help.

Counselling

Family Life Society
Tel: 64880278
Website: familylife.sg

PAVE (Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence)
Tel: 65550390
Website: www.pavecentre.org.sg

Shelters for Abused Women

Good Shepherd Centre Crisis Shelter
Tel:67556496
Website: www.catholicwelfare.org.sg/rosevilla.htm

SCWO Star Shelter
Tel: 68370611
Website: scwo.org.sg/wp/?page_id=31

Singapore Anglican Community Services
Tel: 65861069
Website: www.sacs.org.sg/centres.htm

Does Jesus celebrate Fathers' Day

2009-06-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

Just saw this cartoon, and found it quite hilarious.

It is quite providential that the start of the Year for Priests, and Fathers' Day falls on the same weekend this year. In CTK, the Maranatha Prayer Ministry were selling photo frames with on the spot photo taking and printing, for parishioners to buy and give to their fathers as a gift. Not only did families take photos with their fathers, there were requests to take photos with the priests of the parish.

Another surprising thing that came to my mind, was the link and continuation between the previous Year of St Paul with the Year for Priests. In his letters to the Corinthians and Thessalonians, St Paul tells us how he saw his role as a spiritual father to the people that God sent him to.

Indeed, in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 1Cor 4:15

As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his children, exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory. 1Thes 2:11-12

And so as we begin this Year for Priests, let us reflect on the role of the priests as our spiritual fathers. Have we allowed them to minister to us? Have we supported them in their vocation and ministry, through prayer, affirmation, encouragement, constructive criticism and love?

Happy Fathers' Day to all Fathers!

Growing Old

2009-06-08T22:33:00.011+08:00

Ever since watching Tuesdays with Morrie, the idea of growing old has been something that has puzzled & intrigued me. How will I grow old? Grumpy? Eccentric? Lonely? Forgetful? Hard-of-hearing? Dependent? Child-Like?

That last 2 question was something that came to my mind as I watched my little baby niece grow over the last few months. And I realised that the needs of a infant change inversely with age. While a baby grows stronger and more independent, the elderly return to being weak and dependent on others.

I recently saw this short film on youtube which was really touching and highlighted the similarities.

It also highlighted how blind we are to see it in the realities of our lives, reflected in the different attitudes we have to the young and the old. How easy is it for us to be patient and loving to a small baby, but quick to be frustrated at the elderly. How fast we forget the care shown to us by our parents when we were babies, probably because we can't even remember it, when it is the same care that they need from us as they grow old.

Maybe some think economics when it comes to family, seeing children as an investment for the future, while the elderly are burdens or losses that need to be cut. Not everyone is going to be like the father in the film, keeping a diary of these little events with love, and be of sound enough mind to show it to their children.

This is a wonderful short film, with a real powerful message. Do pass it around. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o
God Bless.

World Communications Day

2009-05-28T16:57:00.004+08:00

Sunday 24th May was World Communications Day, where the Church reminds us to use whatever means of communication to bring the message of Christ to the world, and to use it to foster closer relationships among each other.

The theme for this year is "New Technologies, New Relationships: Promoting a Culture of Respect, Dialogue and Friendship.". You can read up more about it in the Pope's Message.

At the Parish of Christ the King where I'm doing my pastoral attachment this year, a group was set up to see what can be done to promote this awareness of World Communications Day to the Parish.

Firstly we decided to do a website with links to various online resources that people can use to grow in their faith --> www.christtheking.com.sg/wcs09

Next we decided to encourage people to send out messages of love and blessings to their friends and loved ones. And since SMS is the most widely used means of communication these days, we printed out 10 different SMS messages onto bookmarks and distributed it at all the sunday masses --> Click here to See SMS messages

This was my favourite design

We also set up a Facebook group for the parishioners to join, with the idea of using it to communicate and promote the various parish activities through it. To date nearly 250 members have joined.

Lastly, we conducted a survey on how people are using various communication technologies and how the Church can more effectively use it to reach out and communicate.

Today as I read this week's issue of the Catholic News I saw that Vatican also did something similar on World Communications Day.

They have a website www.pope2you.net, a facebook app through which you can send the Pope's messages to your friends. Only thing we didn't do was a youtube channel, iPhone app and a wiki site. Well not too bad for a small parish compared to Vatican.

Enlightening Moment

2009-04-18T21:53:00.002+08:00

A funny thing just happened.
I'm in my office touching up my slides for tomorrow's RCIY session, when I get a knock on the door.
I see this guy wearing a headband and his singlet is drenched with sweat.
I'm wondering what he could possibly be looking for at this time of the night.
And the first thing he says is "I just came to tell you that the light for your cross on the church building is off, I've noticed it the last few days."
I thank him and assure him that I will have it looked into.
Out of courtesy, I ask him his name and if he is a parishioner.
Turns out he stays next to the parish, but he goes to New Creation Church.

It is impressive that even while he is jogging, his mind is on God, that he even notices that the light of the cross on the house of God is not turned on.
It reminds me of a time when a few of us took a cab to Holy Trinity Church. Most of the time when we tell a taxi driver a church name, we still have to direct the way. But this time as we tried to give directions, the driver assured us that he knew the way. So I asked if he was Catholic, he said he was protestant, but not to worry, as long as it is a House of God, he knows the way there.

Amazing how much respect that these two protestant gentlemen have for the House of God, one bothering to look at it while jogging and notice that Christ's light was not shining out, and another who knows the locations of the churches, not because his profession requires it, but that because it is a Houce of God.

The fact that the light of the cross is not shining out may be reflecting something deeper, but I think I'll keep that to another post, and get back to my powerpoint slides. Really takes a lot of time and effort to do.

Oh yah, I know that I stopped at the 4th last word of Christ on the Cross reflection. Really mis-calculated the timing. I still managed to complete my reflections on all seven words by Good Friday, but to put it down in a blog post really takes up so much time, that I was not able to do it once the busy schedule of Holy Thursday onwards began. Its a hectic two weeks after Easter with sessions and retreat to plan and conduct. Hope I make it out alive. ;Þ

4th Last Word of Jesus - ...why have you forsaken me?

2009-04-07T17:23:00.004+08:00

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34

One way of looking at this was that Jesus was reciting the first line of Psalm 22 which contained prophecies that were fulfilled at his passion (the enemies jeering, dividing of clothes and gambling for the tunic). Or that Jesus was experiencing the consequences of our sin, that disconnectedness with God, that he took upon himself willingly, and so he was voicing out the anguish that he was feeling with the words from the psalm.

As I reflected on the word forsaken, and I looked at my life, I don't think that I have ever done what Jesus did. In times when I'm down, I seldom turn to God until I'm really desperate. I can't say that I've ask God why has he forsaken me because I know its always I who have forsaken him first. It shows the shallowness of my faith and relationship with God.

In my first year of seminary, I read a few books by the Jesuit priest, Fr Thomas Green, on prayer and the deepening of our relationship with God. I wrote a few reflections on my blog on what I had learnt. In one that I wrote in lent 4 yrs ago, I wrote about what spiritual consolation and desolation was. And my second last paragraph, I said that I had not experienced full desolation yet, concluding that I'm not holy enough. Maybe now still not holy.

Read the post if you are wondering why holiness leads to desolation (a sense of abandonment by God). St John of the Cross calls it the Dark Night of the Soul. While deepening of spiritual life one will encounter spiritual dryness, desolation. Mother Teresa went through years of desolation, as revealed in the recent book "Come Be My Light". When the book was published, it sparked off many comments from the secular world, that she didn't believe in God, that she was a hypocrite professing a faith in a God she didn't believe in. But this spiritual desolation is not something that the world will understand. Even most Catholics do not know or understand that there is such a thing or that it exists.

Luckily God only allows it to happen to those who he knows are strong enough to perservere through it, and those who are willing to lay down their lives for him. It is a means through which God purifies our soul, to love him as he loved us. A test of our faith, whether we will still be faithful to seek him even if we do not have the good feeling that spiritual consolation brings. It brings to mind the faith that Abraham had. He was probably in highest consolation when God granted him a son in his old age. But what must have gone through when God asked him to sacrifice that same son.

In my younger days, I remember borrowing a question and answer book from the church library that had this question - "What if I scold God?". I remember that the answer started by saying that its ok, because at least you still have a relationship with God, that you still believe in him enough to expect something from him, and that you can get angry with him.

On a final note, I realised that I haven't reached a familiarity with the scriptures to be able use it in my prayer with God. I am probably like the bystanders who didn't know their psalms enough to recognise what it was. And that the last part of the psalm praises and glorifies God for the deliverance that he has granted.

The 5th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"I Thirst"
Jn 19:28

3rd Last Word of Jesus - Woman, here is your son...

2009-04-06T10:36:00.001+08:00

"Woman, here is your son...
Here is your mother."
Jn 19:26-27

One reason why I like to read Archbishop Fulton Sheen's writings, is his ability to see scripture from a different perspective. When I look at this passage of Jesus giving his mother to the disciple he loved, I see it from two points of view. One that despite his own suffering, Jesus was worried about his mother, that he entrusts her, a widow, into the care of his disciple. The other viewpoint is that the disciple was not named, so that he represents all of us, to whom Jesus gives his mother.

Bishop Sheen being from America, would have used the New American Bible translation, and the word used there is "Behold your son". In this day, we don't really use the word "behold" anymore, so the other translations use "this" or "here". But the word "behold" has a richer meaning than "this" or "here". More than just a statement, it is command to see and look. It is used in John's Gospel when referring to Jesus by John the Baptist "Behold the Lamb of God", by Pilate "Behold the Man", "Behold your king!". And here Jesus is telling Mary to see and look at her son. If the words were to come out from anyone else, Mary would have looked up at Jesus on the cross. But because it came from Jesus, he was telling her to look at the disciple and to see her son Jesus, in the disciple. As the unnamed disciple represents us, Mary sees her son Jesus in each and everyone of us. We are called to be one with him, and he with us, showing his face to the world.

Bishop Sheen also mentions that just prior to this scene, was the dividing of Jesus' clothes by the soldiers. He uses the seamless tunic, most probably woven by Mary, as the link to Jesus' speaking to his mother. But as I reflected on it, somehow I got de-linked from the cross to focusing on the soldiers gambling. Much like the reflection on the two thieves, I found myself wondering what must have been going on in the minds of those soldiers.

"Just another days work"
"Lets get it over and done with"
"Sky getting dark, looks like is going to rain"
"Look at these Jews, fighting among themselves"
"Come lets have some fun and gamble for this tunic"

For them, there was no mystery, no sacrifice, nothing special about that day. In contrast to what the good thief experienced, to what the disciple and women at the foot of the cross were going through. Similarly, this week, from Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, which one are we going to be? The women, especially Mary, pondering on Christ's passion and death? Or the soldiers, where it is just another day, in fact better still, a public holiday? Whats going to be my focus, and how am I going to spend these 3 days?

The 4th Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mk 15:34

2nd Last Word of Jesus - Today you will be with me...

2009-04-05T13:07:00.001+08:00

"Amen, I say to you,
today you will be with me in Paradise."
Lk 23:34

A reflection that I read from another book on Jesus' Seven Last Words gave a very interesting insight on the role of the thieves that were crucified on either side of Jesus. The first thieves in the world were Adam and Eve, when they stole the fruit from the tree of knowledge.

God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, nor shall you touch it, or you shall die.'...
the woman saw that the tree was good for food... she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate. - Gen 3:3-6

And when the good thief said "we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.", it goes further than just the theft that the two thieves committed, to the theft of the First Adam, to our sin, for which we deserve the condemnation. The thieves represent all of us, who should be "justly condemned", and yet the sinless one, the Second Adam, tells us that today we will be with him in paradise.

It was quite consoling to dwell on the hope that we too are like the "good thief", being forgiven and told that we will be with Jesus in paradise. But as I reflected further, the realisation of both thieves as representing us set in, yet only one was given that hope. It brought to mind a discussion that we had at last weeks Alpha, where one participant shared that his friend told him that he can enjoy life right now, and wait till before he dies to repent, and he will still go to heaven. After all whether we enter the vineyard at the 1st hour or the last hour we will still be paid the same. Our God is a generous God.

We all know that that is not the right way to live out our faith, but I'm sure that we all have thought about this loophole in our lives, and definitely we still use it when we consciously decide to sin, with the intention of going for confession later. But the stark contrast between the good thief and the other thief is the reality that I may reach that final day and not be able to repent, not able to recognise Jesus, not able to ask Jesus to "remember me when you come into your kingdom". Sin has the effect of darkening our soul, of covering our eyes. As St John says those who do evil will run away from good.

this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. - Jn 3:19-20

The last point of reflection that I had was on the word "Today". Another time that Jesus used the word "today" was when he told Zacchaeus "Today salvation has come to this house". Both times salvation was declared on a person, because of their words and action, but most importantly because of a change in their heart. In the good thief, we have one example of a man who at his dying humbly embraced Christ. In the other thief we also have a man whose heart was hardened that he mocked Christ even as he was dying. And in Zacchaeus we have one who while living encountered Christ and changed his life, and received salvation.

In our current lifestyle, we always want things immediately. We want the good stuff and we want it now. But yet when it comes to Salvation, we don't mind waiting. Maybe it is because we think that Salvation and the Kingdom of God is something associated with life after death or the last days. But in fact Jesus tells us "the kingdom of God is among you. - Lk 17:21". Don't wait any longer...today is the day.

The 3rd Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"Woman, here is your son...
Here is your mother."
Jn 19:26-27

1st Last Word of Jesus - Father forgive them...

2009-04-04T10:06:00.006+08:00

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing"
Lk 23:34

The first Last Word that Jesus spoke was to ask for forgiveness on our behalf. Not only was he asking for our forgiveness, but he was giving us the reason/excuse that we should be forgiven - because we do not know what we are doing. Jesus could say that about the soldiers nailing him to the cross, because they did not know him as the Son of God. But how does this apply to us. Don't we know him as the Son of God, as our Saviour, the Way, the Truth and the Life. Thus when we sin, can we say we do not know what we are doing?

Yesterday we had the penitential service at CTK, and I found myself wondering whether the priest were hearing new terms for the sins being confessed. Such as:

Being economical with the truth
Deliberately misleading
Withholding information

These were the words being used to describe the actions of Lewis Hamilton and the McLaren Team in the Formula One race in Melbourne last weekend. When asked if they instructed Hamilton to slow down for the Toyota car to pass him, they said that they did not, despite having done so.

The many fanciful terms being thrown around to describe an act which is basically lying is in fact one of the ways that we try to bluff ourselves that our actions were really not that bad. In the past few weeks, the topic of confessions and sin has occurred a few times at the retreats and conversations with various people. Some have mentioned that they have no sin, no big sin or always the same sins.

I've been there and done that, and thus I can't fault them. We like to forget the bad that we have done, or more likely, we are not even aware of the many sins that we have and are committing. Like I shared earlier on the parable of the wicked servant I don't really know what my full debt/sin is.

Fulton Sheen calls it the ignorance of evil, and it is because of this ignorance that Jesus is asking the Father for our forgiveness. Often we are not aware of our sin, or we are deceived into thinking that we have not sinned, or we water it down by making it sound not as serious. There are other times that I'm not aware of the consequences of my sin, thus if I don't see the consequences, how can it be wrong? Jesus always criticised the Pharisees for exploiting the loopholes in the Law, and we too do that, by using our intellect and reason to worm our way out of our dirty deeds.

Talking about dirt, yesterday a priest shared a story of a wedding he attended, where the bride was eating Kueh Ko Swee, and as she bit into it, the brown sugar burst out onto her white gown. What a shock that might have been. Imagine if that had happen when you were wearing an old t-shirt that you use for painting the house. It wouldn't be much of a bother since the t-shirt would probably be dirty already. Fulton Sheen says that people living in dirt don't realise how dirty dirt is, similarly people living in sin don't recognise sin for what it is. It is only when we try to become clean, then the sin becomes more apparant. Like if I'm wearing a white shirt and eating laksa, I will definitely be more careful about not getting laksa sauce on my shirt. Just like after going for confession, there is the grace that makes me not want to sin and dirty myself. Thats why regular confession not only makes us reflect and aware of our sins, but helps us not to sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. - 1 John 1:8-10

The 2nd Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"Amen, I say to you,
today you will be with me in Paradise."
Lk 23:43

Seven Last Words of Jesus

2009-04-03T16:41:00.005+08:00

Dying Jesus, let us ponder
Your last seven words, and wonder
At the love of God made Man.

This is the verse that we always sing at the Twelfth Station - Jesus Dies on the Cross. As a young boy, as far as I can remember, I wondered what these Last Seven Words of Jesus were that we were supposed to ponder. One day when I saw in the reflection passage for the twelfth station the line that says.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice, saying,
"Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
Lk 23:46

So the Jesus' last seven words must have been "into your hands I commit my spirit" I was quite proud of myself for "figuring out" those last seven words. (of course that was in the days before the internet, and before I ever bothered to do any research on church stuff)

But I could never ponder and understand why those last seven words were so important. Until I saw the book "The Seven Last Words" by Fulton Sheen. Only then did I realise that the "Words" were actually "Sentences" said by Jesus. A person's lasts words are normally what he feels really important to tell others. Such as "I love you" or "please forgive me". You can imagine Jesus in his agony on the cross, must have really used up his strength to leave us with these seven "words" to ponder on. So my Lenten project starting from tomorrow, will be to reflect, ponder and hopefully blog on one "Word" per day up to Good Friday. I invite you to join me, and send me a link to your blog if you decide to blog about it too.

The 1st Word for tomorrow's reflection is

"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing"
Lk 23:34

Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day

2009-04-01T08:25:00.001+08:00

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my Client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

Happy April Fools!

True Story

2009-03-31T21:33:00.001+08:00

One day, a man went to visit a church..

He got there early, parked his car, and got out.

Another car pulled up and the driver got out and said,

'I always park there! You took my place!'

The visitor went inside for Sunday School,

found an empty seat and sat down.

A young lady from the church

approached him and stated,

'That's my seat! You took my place!'

The visitor was somewhat distressed

by this rude welcome, but said nothing.

After Sunday School, the visitor went

into the sanctuary and sat down.

Another member walked up to him and said,

'That's where I always sit! You took my place!'

The visitor was even more troubled by this

treatment, but still He said nothing.

Later as the congregation was praying

for Christ to dwell among them,

the visitor stood up, and his appearance began to change.

Horrible scars became visible on

his hands and on his sandaled feet.

Someone from the congregation

noticed him and called out, 'What happened to you?'

The visitor replied, as his hat

became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye,

'I took your place.'

Solving one problem with another

2009-03-31T16:21:00.003+08:00

Some of the news that I've read today brought about a small enlightenment and a wonderful analogy to explain the controversy over the use of condoms to prevent AIDS. Today's Today Newspaper had an article entitled "Texas considers allowing guns on campuses". Apparently some politicians are trying to pass a bill in Texas to allow students to carry concealed guns on campus, to prevent another Virgina Tech incident from happening. In the article, the VP of the campus puts it so gently that "permitting guns would introduce a new set of potential challenges to campus safety" at the Waco university, "and therefore we don’t believe guns on our campus are a good idea generally." In another article, faculty staff members were considering the situation of "passin out Fs and Ds with somebody in the classroom having a gun".

"It’s basically just allowing the people who have concealed weapons to protect themselves wherever they go" - Joe Driver who is championing the bill.

The logic here astounds me. He is recommending that because there is a danger of someone bringing a concealed weapon into the school, others should be allowed to bring concealed weapons to protect themselves. The logical solution would be to ban guns (which kill people) so that I do not need to be afraid of someone bringing a gun to school. My self-protection would be my fist, because all the other person has is his fist. But of course that is the thinking of someone who comes from a society that has not allowed private ownership of guns. But in the USA where owning a gun is a constitutional right, gun control has been a big controversial issue with parties lobbying on both sides. So the best solution they can offer, would to be create an environment of danger where anyone can carry a gun on campus. Luckily the smarter people are on faculty and not in politics and realise that this bill would allow teenagers who get drunk and rowdy, and not fully in control of their passions to carry arms, which may result in more harm than good.

To me, this proposal was similar to the approach towards trying to control the spread of AIDS through the use of condoms. Instead of Safe Sex, lets promote a Safe School where everyone has "protection", just that the protection here is a gun instead of a condom.

But one thing that I realise from the gun control issue is the US, applies to the condom/AIDS issue, is that both sides have different views of what is a Right. For some carrying a gun is a Right. For some to have sex with anyone they want is a Right. So if I think that having sex is a Right, I can't propose to another person that the best solution to preventing AIDS is not to have casual sex, because I will be denying that person his/her Right. All I can do is make it as safe as possible. A Harvard Researcher which agreed with the Pope used the term Risk Compensation, where if through the use of technology the risks can be lowered, people are willing to take a higher risk, which erases the benefits.

Problem is the solution is to promote a value - abstinence. In this day, values are the hardest thing to try to teach or to get people to live out. So the easy way out would be to allow sin to corrupt people and say that there is nothing we can do about, so lets make it as harmless as possible, thus promoting immorality. So instead of helping people be in control of their animal passions, we deem them as animals unable to control themselves and give them "protection".

I probably am naive about the situation in Africa, and all that the health workers are trying to do. But I am actually referring to the state of the "western/liberalised" society that has given up its values and embraced a hedonistic life. Something which the Harvard Researcher article mentioned about showed that maybe the western aid they are giving is doing more harm. By promoting condoms, they were promoting their liberalised mindset towards sex. As Nike's famous tagline - "Just do it".

Just like the gun issue, if everybody was carrying "protection", doesn't it increase the likelihood that the protection will be used. If they can see that allowing students to carry guns would result in more harm, why can't they see that promoting condoms is going to encourage casual sex, the very thing that is causing the spread of AIDS. But then again, not everyone sees casual sex as wrong.

Crying in the Chapel

2009-03-29T23:47:00.002+08:00

I always amaze myself that I can listen to songs and not notice what the lyrics are. So even for songs that I like, I'm quite clueless of the lyrics and meaning of the song.

Today I saw the lyrics of an old Elvis song "Crying in the Chapel", and I finally realised what he was singing about. All this while I thought it was some love song or heartbreak song. Makes me wanna go to the chapel ;Þ

Crying In The Chapel

You saw me crying in the chapel
The tears I shed were tears of joy
I know the meaning of contentment
Now I'm happy with the Lord

Just a plain and simple chapel
Where humble people go to pray
I pray the Lord that I'll grow stronger
As I live from day to day

I searched and I searched
But I couldn't find
No way on earth to gain peace of mind

Now I'm happy in the chapel
Where people are of one accord
Yes we gather in the chapel
Just to sing and praise the Lord

You'll search and you'll search
But you'll never find
No way on earth to gain peace of mind

Take your troubles to the chapel
Get down on your knees and pray
Then your burdens will be lighter
And you'll surely find the way

How much do I owe?

2009-03-19T12:11:00.010+08:00

As I was reflecting on tuesday's Gospel passage on the parable of the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:21-35), the words "ten thousand talents" struck me. Looking at the footnote in the NRSV bible, it said that 1 talent was worth more than 15 years of wages. This sparked off the mathematician in me, to compare the amount the wicked servant owed the master with the amount his fellow servant owed him.

Checking the Bible Dictionary, I found that 1 talent = 6000 denarii.
This meant that the wicked servant owed the master
6,000 x 10,000 = 60,000,000 or 60 Million Denarii,
meaning he owed 600,000 times what was owed to him.

Now that the difference has been put into perspective, it basically means that it was a huge debt. This idea of debt brought to mind the conversation we had at the breakfast table, when we saw the front page of the Life section - Travel Now Pay Later. My first reaction was this was how people accumulate debts. We live in a culture of credit spending.

I was quite surprised when I typed in "travel now" into google, the autocomplete immediately brought up "travel now pay later" with 7 million websites. No wonder we are the financial state that we are in. Companies encouraging us to spend first and pay later with their 0% interest monthly instalments. Credit card companies tempting us with their freebies. And the one that bugs me the most, telemarketers calling me up to offer me ready cash up to 4 times my monthly salary. Mr Brown recently posted a video on his blog explaining how credit and greed brought about this whole recession.

Back to my reflection on the passage. The credit spending lifestlye we have accumulates big financial debts before we realise it. Similarly in my life I have also a credit sinning lifestyle. Since there is always confessions, I can sin now and confess later. Thus not realising the enourmous debt that I have accumulated. The NAB version says that the servant owed a "huge amount". I know that I owe God a huge amount, but I don't really know how huge that huge amount is. If I did, I think I would be like that servant begging for God's mercy.

This probably the wonder of Lent, through the readings, fasting and prayer, we realise our nothingness, our sinfulness, our indebtedness to God and realise that in our lifetime we will never be able to "pay back" his love for us and forgiveness. We can only pray that we may have the grace to be mindful of what we owe when we consider what others owe/hurt us and forgive.

Why Wait?

2009-03-17T10:48:00.004+08:00

Just saw an article on xt3.com about Lent and Confessions. In it the writer talks about what has been happening in various dioceses in the US, and the steps that they are taking to encourage the Sacrament of Reconciliation, especially during ths time of Lent. Some examples are adverts on billboards and in the papers to encourage reconciliation with God, having 24-hour confession days, dedicating one evening per week for confessions and even the priest going out into the street to invite people in.

While reading it, it just brought to mind some things that I have realised about the Sacrament of Confession in the last few years since I started to take my faith more seriously.

Firstly that I was brought up with the "Tradition" that we have to go for confession twice a year - before Easter and before Christmas. Then I discovered that the Catechsim of the Catholic Church (CCC) states that we are required to go for confession at least once a year. But that's like the mininmum requirement.

As I continued to grow in my faith, I realised that my sins were the obstacles in my relationship with God. And I discovered the beauty of the sacrament and the graces that flowed from receiving it strengthened me on my journey and my struggle with sin. While it is definitely uncomfortable to have to confess our sins to another person (especially now that most of the priests know me), it makes me confront the sins in my life. No longer can I sweep them under the carpet as if they did not happen. By voicing out my sins, I'm bringing these sins into the light and not allowing them to have control over me - Confession sets me free.

Pope John Paul II made his confession daily, Mother Teresa weekly. While I'm not saying that we all have to be at that frequency now, it would be good to increase our frequency of confessions from the once or twice a year to maybe once a month or once in two months. And grow from doing it out of obligation (easter & christmas), but because it helps our soul in our relationship with God.

The second "Tradition" that I had from young, was that I had to go for my confession during the penitential service held in church before Easter and Christmas. I would never miss it, and if I missed the one in my parish, I made sure I went to the one held in another parish. Of course for me, it was because confession was a tradition to be done before Easter and Christmas, so if the parish organises a penitential service, that would be the best time to go for it. Whats more there were priests from other parishes, so I didn't need to go to my own parish priests. Also because all my friends will be there, and we will go for supper after that.

But with my change of mindset of confessions, came the realisation of why should I wait for the penitential service to go for my confession. There is confession available before every weekend mass, or daily at Novena church (WARNING: Long queues). Why add to the number of people coming on that one night? I still go for the penitential services though. Not for my confession, but to celebrate the many people who are reconciling with God, and to pray for them. Also because it is "Tradition".

For those who still need the small push to take the first step to go for confessions, watch this video of the song by Phillips, Craig And Dean - When God Ran. We may be taking a step towards God, but He is running towards us. Why wait any longer?

Thank Him For Your Thorns

2009-03-14T17:39:00.002+08:00

Saw this story on a friend's Facebook profile.

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week, she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer.

"She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.
Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? She wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I....I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary," asked the shop clerk, "or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving 'Special?'. Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi, Barbara...let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped; there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke?

Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed.

"Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile.

"You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again." She said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh....she just left with no flowers!"

"Right", said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!", exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery.

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk, "and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important.
I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort.

"You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!"
shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement...twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

"No...I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago, my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too...fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read: My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."

Praise Him for your roses, thank Him for your thorns.

Perfect Number Seven

2009-03-13T14:56:00.003+08:00

Having to prepare a session which includes the Seven Deadly Sins has been quite a good reflection exercise for me this Lent. Going deeper into the meanings of Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Envy and Anger has given me much fruit for thought with regard to my own relationship with God and with others.

I won't share my own discoveries and reflections here as that is not the intention of this post, but to encourage others to go and research on these Seven Deadly sins and reflect on them in your lives. Together with the corresponding Seven Virtues of Humility, Charity, Temperance, Chastity, Diligence, Kindness and Patience, it makes for a good spiritual exercise to go through this Lent. Maybe you can take one Sin & Virtue to reflect on each day of a week. Just Google "Seven Deadly Sins", and you will find a lot of information.

To add on to that spiritual exercise, there are Seven Penitential Psalms you might want to pray, one for each day. Although they are not directly related to any particular Deadly Sin, still they are good scriptural readings to reflect on our sinfulness and need for God. The Psalms are 6, 31(32), 37(38), 50(51), 101(102), 129(130) and 142(143) [Numbers in brackets depending on your bible]

Have a good week of reflection, not just on the Sins, but also on the Virtues, and pray for the grace to break out of the Sin and to cultivate the Virtues in your life. God Bless

Did You Pray For Grace?

2009-03-06T21:32:00.006+08:00

Reflection from Word Among Us Lent 2009 Issue
As we are praying for healing, we also face a crucial question: If I am meant to embrace this cross, will I do it out of a “noble” position of faith or through an “empowered” position of faith? There is an important distinction here: A “noble” person who accepts a cross does so with good intentions, trying his or her best not to complain or give in to self-pity. While this is the right way to embrace the cross, if it is done solely out of our own noble intentions and human strength, there will likely be some degree of discouragement, anger, or self-blame attached. After all, some crosses are downright heavy, and their burdens are just too painful to bear on our own.

This is where the “empowered” position of faith comes in. God wants to give us his own divine grace to help us embrace the crosses of life. Jesus once told St. Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” These words so moved Paul that he was able to write: “I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong” ?(2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Embracing a cross with the help of God’s grace is quite different from nobly trying our best to accept a cross without grace. Those who embrace a cross through grace find themselves depending on God more and more each day. They find reserves of strength, trust, and surrender that they know are not their own but that come from a loving, merciful God. Rather than dwell on their own sufferings, they find themselves moved with compassion for other people, even as they themselves endure pain and difficulty. In short, they become more and more like Jesus.

This is the paradox of the cross: We accept suffering not because it is good and not because we like it but as part of our vocation as followers of Jesus Christ. These crosses can become opportunities for us to grow closer to Jesus and give him glory.

Saw this on my friend's blog and realised that it put across very nicely a point that I forgot to write down in the previous post due to the exciting discovery of the auntie walking through "walls".

The last two lines of the first paragraph sum up the feeling that I had when I attempted to keep my resolutions by my own strength and effort. Other than the realisation that these resolutions were to bring me closer to God. I also realised not to see my resolutions as means to reach an end, but as processes that I need God's graces to help me carry out to deepen my relationship with Him.

It brought to mind the question that my SD for my 8-day silent retreat kept asking me everyday. "Did you pray for Grace?"

Excuse me, are you an angel?

2009-03-03T17:06:00.005+08:00

Lent this year has been a surprisingly new experience for me. Normally I would approach Lent like one going for chinese tuition class, dreading and dragging my feet. But I'm not sure why this year, Lent looks to me like a 40-day retreat. A time to really spend time with my Lord and renewing my relationship with Him.

Another different thing about lent for me this year were my resolutions, or more like how I was approaching the carrying out of my resolutions. Year after year, I would begin with hope of keeping all my resolutions for the whole 40 days, but along the way, a minor hiccup would throw it all into disarray. Disappointment sets in, doubts start to seep in, and I'll be convincing myself that I've set the standard too high, or that I just don't have the discipline to see it through. But this year my focus for my Lenten resolutions has been on the end which is Easter. My resolutions should be preparing me spiritually for Easter and beyond. Much like a retreat builds up and culminates on a high, these 40 days and what I do in this time was to help me reach that high in my relationship with God. And that is a gradual process, not one that I can expect right from the beginning.

The above realisation came to me one morning when I was in the adoration room (one of my resolutions to begin the day). The room was crowded, so there was no space for me to lean against the bench and face the Blessed Sacrament. So with my back to the side wall, I sat facing the door of the adoration room. While I was thinking through this issue with resolutions (obviously because I encountered a minor hiccup), one of the morning mass aunties got up and walked out, and what she did surprised and amazed me.

From the photo you can see that there is a curtain that shields the inside of the room from the eyes of people walking outside, forming something like a false wall. And almost everyone coming into the adoration room or going out would walk around it going through that small opening on the left, as if it was a real wall. But this auntie took the direct route to the door, walking to the right side where the curtain meets the wall, gently pulled it aside and walked "through" the "wall". This reminded me of the common phenomenon I observed in the church canteen. If there are two doors at the entrance, and one of it is open, everyone would walk out the open one, and nobody would open the closed one, even if it was crowded.

And it just occurred to me, that so often we see an obstacle in our spiritual journey, and we assume it to be a wall, or we fail to see that it is just a curtain and choose to go around it and avoid it. In actual fact the obstacle is not as difficult as it seems, but because there is the option of going around it, we choose it because it is easier.

I walked out of the adoration room, heart lightened, and encouraged to perservere on this Lenten journey. That night I was going for a meeting, and the girl who was to bring me to place of the meeting told me she went to the adoration room while waiting for me. So I decided to share with her this revelation that I had gotten in the morning. Her first reaction was "Oh my, are you an angel or something", because she had just been praying of some obstacles in her own life. That's the first time in my life that I've ever been called an Angel. Praise the Lord for sending me an Angel in the morning, and allowing me to be an Angel at night too.

Catholic News has a Sports Section

2008-12-23T12:18:00.002+08:00

It is not often that you see Manchester United and Liverpool mentioned in the Catholic News, much less have a photo of a football stadium and a Liverpool player. So I thought that CN might be starting a sports section when I turned to page 8 of last weeks CN and saw the familiar red jersey and a photo of Fr John Bosco in the Standard Chartered marathon. But the heading at the top of the section was still "News".

What made it more interesting was the contrast between the anti-Catholic Red Devils fans and the Catholic faith of a Reds player and his mother. But I shall not hit a team while they are "down", moreover the team can't really control the actions and words of their fans.

I seriously doubt that CN would be able to sustain a regular sports section, unless they started to cover the Vatican Football League (Clericus Cup) or our local Archbishop's Cup. Though to their credit, I remember that they have featured articles in the past such as the Olympics. The problem is that the sporting world these days have given up their sportsmanship values, and stopped being role models for the youth. Instead it has been corrupted by money and greed, doping and bribery. Players are more interested in fame and glamour, money, partying, drinking, drugs and sex. Setting bad examples with their arrogance, infidelity and lifestyle. Which is why examples such as Jamie Carragher are hard to come by.

Not taking into account the recent "goal" he scored, Carra has been one of Liverpool's most consistent players. Maybe he is spared the temptations of fame and wealth because he is not attractive to girls like Beckham or because he's a central defender, not the most glamourous of positions. More importantly it is his behaviour both on and off the pitch that makes him a credible role model. He is not only involved in charities, but in various programs to help kids stay out of gangs through sports.

One can't help but think that his Catholic background as well as the love of his family, especially that of his mother has formed him to be the man, footballer and role model that he is.

'My book of Revelations begins with the most dramatic:
if my mum hadn't been a Roman Catholic,
I might have been aborted.

Paula Carragher was given the option of a termination
due to complications halfway through her pregnancy.
She was told I had spina-bifida- a birth defect that affects
the spinal cord. She was too religious to consider abortion,
no matter how disabled I'd be.

'Our Lord told me to have the baby', she still claims.
She's the rock on which my family is built.
I owe everything to that decision
she took thirty years ago'.

That being said, not all catholic footballers behave the same way. I used to be so proud when I see the new brazilian stars, making the sign of the cross when the entered the pitch and after they scored a goal. How they were able to use their public roles to show the importance of their faith in their lives even on the pitch and acknowledging God's role in their success. But then I also began to realise, that as fame and greatness got to their heads, the sign of the cross disappeared, replaced by fingers pointing to themselves.

Luckily there was one professional footballer, Chase Hilgenbrinck, who discovered his calling while playing for the MLS team New England Revolution, and "retired" to join the seminary.

Lastly, the Church itself also is in strong support of sports, with the Pontifical Council for the Laity organising a seminar on sports and mission, and stressing the responsibility of sports stars.

Look Here Look There

2008-11-13T08:28:00.002+08:00

While meditating on this morning's readings, one phrase from the Gospel caught my attention.

"Look here it is, look there it is
Lk 17:21

It reminded me of the time that I went on my graduation holiday to central australia with my friends from COSDU. We were out in the cold at night to look at the stars, and to keep my friend company as he was taking his photos of the stars.

The above picture was the outcome of us freezing out butts off, and must say it was quite worth it. On top of that, we also happened to be in the right place and time to witness a meteor shower. So there were shooting stars flying through the sky. So there were these bunch of crazy nuts in the open huddled together in our sleeping bags, shouting "there, did you see it", "over there". But of course by the time we responded to the other person's shout, the shooting star had vanished. So I realised that to catch the shooting stars, I had to keep my eyes focused on the sky, and not be distracted by the "here and there" shouts of my friends. And I would say I saw my fair share of shooting stars that night.

I guess that's pretty much how we should be looking for the kingdom of God too. It is present in our lives, and if we are focused in seeking it, God will reveal it to us. Let us not be distracted by the "here and there" shouts of others.

Thanks Kenneth for the photo, not too sure how the creative commons things work, so shall just credit you here for the photo ;Þ

Prayer - B.A.P.T.I.S.M

2008-10-14T10:12:00.002+08:00

Recently I came across this post in a blog by a seminarian in Miami. He managed to come up with an acronym, that he uses in his catechism classes to teach the different kinds of prayer.

What I've learnt in the past was that there were prayer could be classified into 4 main categories. Praise, Adoration, Intercession and Thanksgiving. But looking at his acronym B.A.P.T.I.S.M sounds like quite a good way to remember, with the few additions.

B = Blessing (to invoke God’s power for a person, place or activity)
A = Adoration (the “created” before the Creator)
P = Praise (glorify God)
T = Thanksgiving (gratitude)
I = Intercession (I ask God for OTHERS) + Petition (I ask God for ME)
S = “Sorry” (ask for forgiveness)
M = Mass (Eucharist source and summit of our faith)

I changed the "M" from Meditation to Mass, as I've always learnt that the Eucharist/Mass is the highest form of prayer.

Its great to see creative ways of making the faith easier to understand and remember. And also to make it more interesting to teach the faith. I remember doing one for a confirmation retreat, on Christian living using the acronym S.A.C.R.A.M.E.N.T. But can't really recall what each stands for. Must go and find if I still have the session notes stored somewhere.

Get Behind Me & A Confederate Soldier's Prayer

2008-09-01T10:24:00.002+08:00

Yesterday at mass, the priest mentioned an example that gave me new insight into the the phrase "Get behind me satan" (Mt 16:23) I used to understand it along the lines of "get lost", a reprimand of Peter, in contrast to the "you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church" in vs18.

The priest gave the example of another time that someone wouls use the words 'get behind me' was a kindergarten teacher asking her students to get behind her and to follow her. The priest also said that the meaning of satan was the tempter. So putting both together, Jesus was telling Peter, to stop tempting him to go on a path different from that which the Father had set out for him, and to 'get behind' Jesus and follow Jesus in the path which is God's will.

Maybe that's the attitude that we should have when fighting with our temptations. Not just to battle with the temptation, but always with the mind of following the Father's will. Or when we have fallen to temptation or become the tempter ourselves, Jesus is giving us this constant command "get behind me".

Actually considering that the subsequent verses Jesus is telling his disciples to pick up their cross and following Him, its surprising that I've never seen the link between "get behind me" and the "follow me".

The priest also ended off his sermon with this poem/prayer which I have heard of before, but never recorded it down before.

Prayer by an Unknown Confederate Soldier

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might humbly obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men, most richly blessed.

Praise God for his priests and their ministry of preaching that helps us to understand and enlighten us on God's Word in our lives.

When things go bad in life

2008-04-22T08:40:00.004+08:00

I read two interesting stories yesterday, from an email and a blog. Both about how when bad things happen to us in our lives, they may actually be good.

When your hut's on fire:

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possession! s. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?' Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God!

Good, it is Good!

Once upon a time, there lived a tribal king who loved to hunt. Whenever he went on his hunting trips, he would bring along his able tribesman, who was very good at navigating the forests for game.

One day, while the tribesman was loading the rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger, and he shot at the tribal king’s last finger. Upon seeing what he had done, the tribesman said, “Good, it is good!”

Furious and in pain, the tribal king threw the tribesman into prison, banishing him from his future hunting trips. But the tribesman said again, “Good, it is good!” The tribal king could not understand why he said that, and ignored him.

After recovering from his injured finger, the tribal king went on his hunting trip.
This time, he went alone. Because he was unfamiliar with the territory, he treaded on forbidden grounds and was captured by another tribe. This tribe was a carnivorous tribe…so you can kinda guess what’s going to happen from here…

The tribes people started preparing a cauldron of broth, ready to cook their new found “food”. While they were inspecting the tribal king, they found that he was short of a finger!

Now, these tribes people had a superstition…they cannot eat any human being who’s not complete. Disgusted and disappointed, they released the tribal king.

Upon his release, the tribal king ran back home gleefully to look for his tribesman locked up in prison. “Good, it is good! Now, I finally realize why you said that! My life was spared because of the accident!”

The tribal king released him at once, and apologized profusely for locking him up. The tribesman told him, “No, no, don’t have to apologise! Good, it is good that I was locked up! Cos if I went on the hunting trip with you…guess who would be eaten instead?”

I have previously posted another story also along this line about how good luck and bad luck.

So next time something bad happens. Look on the bright side of life, it could be a blessing in disguise.

Vocation Discernment and Kampung Punggol

2008-04-14T11:22:00.002+08:00

A bit of advertisment here.
There are two vocation discernment events that are being organised these two months.

First would be the Vocation Discernment Tools Workshop.
In response to the question of "How do we discern God's call?" that many young people are asking today. The Seminary and Serra Club are organising this workshop for young people who are discerning, those working with young people, or vocation promotion teams.

This Workshop is open to everyone of all ages and gender. You can register with the Serra Club at this website

The Second Event would be the Vocation Discernment Retreat in May
This Retreat is for young men over the age of 17, who would like to find out more about the priesthood, and to discern if God is calling them to the priestly vocation.

You can register for this through the priest of your parish, or email to seminariansonline@gmail.com

The Seminary also has a new website at www.sfxms.org.sg. Actually its been up for quite a while, just that I've never blogged about it. We are still trying to improve certain parts of it, especially the photo gallery. So if anyone has suggestions, feel free to email them to seminariansonline@gmail.com

And Lastly the Singapore Seminarians have come up with a blog, to share our life and reflections in this ulu part of Singapore that we affectionately call Kampung Punggol. So do give it a visit. The links are on the right side of this blog.

Feast Day

2008-04-10T22:05:00.003+08:00

For nearly 30 years of my life, I have been living under the impression that there was no Saint by the name of Terence, I find out, with the help of the mighty GOOGLE that there indeed is a St Terence, in fact a few, depending on which source. Don't know if the Vatican website has a complete list of all the Saints of the Church.

Anyway I found on the Catholic.org list of Saints and the Patron Saints Index a few St Terences. One who I'm going to take as my Patron Saint, was one of a group of 50 Christians who were imprisoned in a pen of snakes and scorpions, and then martyred.

I chose him as his feast day occurs quite close to the date on which I got that mysterious call, that has led me down this path of my vocation. So now he has got to pray for me and my vocation. Too bad not much is known about him to write about.

Have a few more posts still on my PDA to blog, just haven't had the time to complete them... Really procrastinating a lot.

Jesus Knew

2008-03-21T11:26:00.003+08:00

As I was preparing for the Holy Thursday Session, I was looking for a video on the last supper, and I found this ad on Youtube

While it looked interesting at first, but the tagline "3G - Changing the course of history" just doesn't make sense, for us Catholics at least. As if Jesus finding out about Judas' betrayal would have changed anything. Because Jesus knew, with or without 3G technology, He Knew what was to happen and who it was that was going to betray him. That was one thing that struck me in yesterday's Gospel reading

For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, "Not all of you are clean." (Jn 13:11)

And despite this knowledge Jesus continued to do what he had to do, is something that has been coming to me this Holy Week, from Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem, which the people saw as political freedom, yet Jesus knew what lay ahead, to the betrayal and the agony in the garden. Each and every action and decision Jesus made, was with the passion and death in mind. And yet he still carried on. We all know the dread we feel in our hearts when we know something bad is coming. And we do all we can to siam. But here Jesus shows us the courage, faith, obedience, total surrender and self-giving, which we are called to emulate in following the will of God. So difficult.

To end on a lighter note, I much prefer this humourous interpretation of the last supper, which shows Jesus really knew what was to come.

Going for the 3pm Good Friday Service now. Hope it storms, or at least the sky will darken.

Metanoia

2008-02-21T16:15:00.005+08:00

The Young Adults of Mustard Seed Community in St Francis Xavier Church are organising a series of talks under the name METANOIAto help young adults grow in their faith journey. The first set of talks fall under the theme "Finding God in My Life". For more info, see the ad below.

Clinging on to the wrong things

2008-02-21T14:52:00.002+08:00

Was inspired with this illustration for my vespers sharing yesterday.

14 years ago, on a hiking trip up Mt Ophir in malaysia, one of my friends got injured when he slipped and slid down a slope. His main injury was not on his body or legs, but on the palms of his hands, because as he was sliding down he tried to grab something to stop himself. Sadly, he grabbed on to a branch full of thorns, which gashed his hands severely.

Linking this incident with our lives, often we find ourselves during trials and difficulties reaching out and grabbing on to things for support, hope and help. Sometimes the things that we cling on to in dificult times are actually not good for us, things that take us away from reality, eg. addictions, virtual worlds. But in the end it ends up hurting us more.

Todays psalm 61(62) reminds us that it is only in God alone, that we need to rely on. In him is a hope that will not dissapoint, that will last. So instead of reaching for things that cannot heal, comfort, or support, let us reach out for our God who is our rock, on whom we can stand firm.

In God alone be at rest, my soul;
for my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock, my stronghold,
my fortress; I stand firm.

Phoenix and Lent

2008-02-17T22:54:00.001+08:00

On Ash Wednesday, we sang the song ashes, which has a line which goes "We rise again from ashes". This reminded me of the Phoenix, made famous in recent times by Fawkes from the Harry Potter series, and I was just wondering if it could be used to symbolise our lenten journey.

The Phoenix is a mythical bird, found in ancient Egyptian, Greek and Oriental cultures. It is supposed to live to 500 years, at which it will make a nest, set it and itself on fire, and from the ashes that remain lies an egg from which the phoenix will be reborn.

The interesting thing I found out in searching the net for info on the phoenix, was that because of this characteristic of rebirth of the phoenix, it was used by the early christians as a symbol for Christ and the Resurrection.

Anyway back to the Phoenix and the Lenten Journey. In the book, Dumbledore, tells Harry that Fawkes had been looking dreadful and was about time for him to be reborn. And so it is with us, who might have grown weary, sinful, distant from God. Lent is a time of rebirth, of renewal, although most of the time it seems like it is more burning than rebirth. But that is the purification process that we have to go through in our relationship with God. Prayer, fasting and almsgiving, may seem like fire, but only if we go through it do our impurities get removed and we have a deeper encounter with God.

Lent is spring, it is about new life. The movie got the rebirth of Fawkes slightly wrong, they skipped the egg part. But just think about it, out of the ashes of lent, comes the egg, which has been used as a symbol for Easter. An egg carries in it new life. So this lent, focus on rebirth, renewal, new life with God, and fan the flames of prayer, fasting and alsmsgiving.

Wild Eagle Chase

2008-01-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

I just saw in Tuesday's Today Newspaper, an article about how this guy found two white-bellied sea eagles in his house and went on a Wild Goose Chase, trying to find the correct government agency to help him get it out of his house. So he called the MND, which directed him to AVA, which told him to contact the NEA. He also tried calling the Zoo, which told him to call the Jurong Bird Park.

Why I find this article amusing, is because I went through the exact same thing last year. We found in the seminary a white-bellied sea eagle that had injured its wing. My first thought was to call the Jurong Bird Park, who told me to call the AVA, they in turn told me to call the NEA. who told me to call the birdpark, and was surprised when I told them, that I had called them first and was finally referred to them. In the end, one of the seminarians, brought the bird to one of our neighbours who brought it to a vet.

The reflection of this whole "wild eagle chase" is the question of whether we know who we can turn to in terms of an emergency. I remember one incident in the past, where a homeless young man came looking for help. We tried calling various place, but couldn't find a place that would be able to help him. We did get similar referrals to "try this other place, they might be able to help". I did learn of places for runaway girls, unwed mothers and abused wives though.

It would be a great help in ministering to those in need, if we know who and what are the resources that people can turn to for their various needs in life. And in the past few years on this journey, I have encountered many such people and organisations, that help the deaf, rehabilitate ex-cons and drug addicts, provide nursing care, journey with the dying and their families, help migrant workers who are cheated by their employers, provide free meals for construction workers, and even bereavement services.

Many of them do run awareness and publicity programs, to educate and promote the services to the public, but sadly, we normally only take notice when we have a problem, I know I'm guilty of it. So hopefully, I will now be more aware of how and what is being done to help those in need.

Everybody is looking for you

2008-01-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

In today's gospel (Mk 1:29-39), one line struck me. Simon and the other disciples telling Jesus that Everybody was looking for him. And yet Jesus decides to "ignore" these people and move to another town. But only today did it strike me, that although the disciples were referring to the people of the town they were in, the "everybody" was really a reminder, that there were more people who were looking for Christ, waiting to hear him and experience him. Which is why Jesus said "Let us go on to the nearby villages that I may preach there also. For this purpose have I come."

It is a strong reminder for me, to be more open to the many people who are looking for God. Or actually more to the fact that everybody is looking for God. This adds on to something that Fr Simon said to me when we went for the school missions earlier this month. He said that in our ministry, it is not always about helping people to find God. Sometimes we need to help people that they are searching for God in their lives. As someone once said, we all have a God-shaped hole in us, and because we feel that emptiness, we try to fill that hole. And yet not many people realise that
we need to find God to fill that hole. In the ways of the world, we try to fill it with money, power, pleasure, relationships, etc... but all these will never fill up that God-shaped hole.

Similarly, as Christians, disciples, and especially as I continue my formation as a priest, I need to be aware that this mission that Christ has given us is not just to baptised, but to the world. Just as Christ got up, and moved to other towns, I also need to work on this area, of bringing Christ to those who do not know him. As it is, it took a real transformation in my life to even start talking about Christ, and sharing my faith with my fellow Catholic friends. What more to my non-Catholic friends, or even to strangers. From some of the shocked reactions I get when I meet up with old friends when I tell them that I am in the seminary training to be a priest, I am reminded of my past. How I had failed to be a witness in my way of life, even less, sharing the faith.

But God is slowly changing me, and I really give Him praise and thanks for all that He is doing in my life. Especially the challenges and opportunities that he shows me. One recent incident, was on the last day of the Illuminate - Leaders For Christ Convention 2007, in my workshop on evangelisation. I shared, that for us Christians, there are 3 "target audiences" when we evangelise. Evangelisation is about bringing the Good News to others. So we need to evangelise to

To the Non-Christians - we need to bring the Good News to those who have not heard of Christ
To the Christians who have fallen away - we need to bring them back to the Faith
To the Active Christians - Active Christians too, need the sharing of God's love and action in our lives to help us to grow in our faith too.

And I shared an example of how a priest once shared, that he sometimes dreaded to go for wedding dinners, because he would be seated at a table with people he did not know. But he nows see each dinner, and each stranger that he meets as an opportunity to share about Christ. I shared this because I was going for a wedding dinner that night, and prayed that I too will be able to put my words into action.

Little that I know, God really answers my prayers. The groom was my Secondary school classmate, and so I was seated at a table with my classmates who I have not met for 13 years since graduation. Lo and behold, I found myself seated next to one guy who I didn't know was Catholic, and I was sharing a bit of my conversion with him, and then the guy on my right, turned out to also be Catholic, and later on, told me that he had stopped going to church, because of a fallout with his priest. And near the end of the dinner, the guy across me was sharing how he was turned-off by a teacher who forced him to learn chinese by reading the chinese bible. And yet he also shared how he had visited Fatima and the Infant Jesus of Prague, and how he felt a totally different feeling there. I ended my wedding dinner that night, in total awe of God's Spirit working.

Now the real challenge for me is to continue to try and grow in this area of evangelising, sharing my faith, and being open to the many opportunities that God is showing to me.

Face the Cross

2007-10-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

I just realised that I have not blogged about my mum's situation. On the night of July 6th, my mum had a massive stroke, and was rushed to the hospital. The bleeding in her skull caused much pressure on her brain, which resulted in a great deal of damage to her brain. She has been unconscious since the operation to remove and control the blood in her head. But thanks to God's grace and the many people praying for her, she has recovered enough to be discharged, and is now in a nursing home where she can get proper medical care and therapy.

On sunday, the youth choir from my parish went to the nursing home to sing to my mum. Their beautiful voices filled the ward, and though my mum can't respond, but I believe that she could hear their singing. But not only were their voices angelic, but the words in the songs really brought home a message. One song in particular, "Face the Cross", touched me deeply. Below are the lyrics and you can download the song by clicking on the title.

Face the Cross

You came into the world as a tiny Child,
small and unassuming.
From Your first conscious thought,
You knew Calvary was before You, looming.
You knew who You were,
what You would do,
why You had been sent to this place:

To face the cross, never turn away,
the salvation of the world hangs in the balance.
You must face the cross,follow and obey,
knowing God will make a way
for You to face the cross.

Mary, on Golgotha's hill,
mourning ev'ry wound,
broken hearted, crying.
You can't believe your eyes,
cannot bear to see your son and Saviour dying.
You heard His first word,
held Him in your arms;
now you pray to heaven for grace

To face the cross, never turn away,
the salvation of the world hangs in the balance.
You must face the cross, follow and obey,
knowing God will make a way
for You to face the cross.

How hard it is to look upon that dying form,
to resist the urge to run for cover from the storm.
But each of us is free to choose
to turn away, or to stay

and embrace the cross;
stand and face the cross.
The salvation of the world hangs in the balance.
Stand and face the cross,
never turn away;
follow and obey,
knowing God will make a way
for you to face the cross, face the cross.
Face the cross.

The words of the song encouraged me to face this cross and the many other crosses that the situation has created in my life and family. Especially the last verse about the urge to run, the choice to turn or to stay, and to embrace.

It has been a difficult time in terms of coming to terms, both emotionally and practically (one of the reasons why this blog has been stagnant). But thankfully there are the many blessings and graces that have been showered on me and my family by God that has helped us through, and keep us trusting in Him. As it says in the last verse "knowing God will make a way...to face the cross". I will try to blog about the blessings another time, hopefully in the next post.

Just a small request to all who read this blog. Please pray for the vocation recollection this friday to saturday (26th-27th Oct), that the aspirants coming will be able to discover God's call in their lives, and have the courage to follow it and the strength to face whatever crosses may come.

Facebook Evangelisation

2007-10-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I last logged on to blogger. Cos of the many things that have been happening, difficulty in putting my thoughts into words, and lastly my super tiredness. But something just sparked a small flame in my head.

I read in Straits Times about companies banning people from using Facebook, because of the time spent "throwing sheep" at one another. Just a thought came to mind, since people are throwing sheep and giving alcohol to one another, why not use facebook as an evangelising tool. Giving each other scipture quotes, love, encouragement, blessings. Or maybe like the aquarium and garden apps, have an altar app, where people can give each other crucifixes, icons, candles, incense. Currently there are no such apps, just the normal bible quotes, Catholic Friends,

Not sure how to create an app, and how long it will take. So if there is anyone who would like to embark on this journey of using technology to evangelise, the help is always welcome...I haven't touched programming in ages, and the new technology is way beyond me. For the rest, just a request for your prayers, that this venture might be for the greater glory of God... oh no I'm starting to sound Jesuit ;Þ

Featured

2007-06-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

When I found out that this blog is featured in this week's Catholic News together with the blogs of Fr Aloysius Ong, Fr Christopher Soh and God's Rhinos, my first reaction, was oh no...the blog has not been updated for a really long time. I've been really busy since the last post, with the vocation retreat, metaphysics, history of philosophy and scripture assignments due, and hebrew exam coming up next week.

Oh my, just found out from the malaysian brothers that a similar article was published in The Herald, the malaysian version of Catholic News. You can find that article at this website. I will post link to the Catholic News article when it is uploaded on the website.

With all this publicity,I think that I better post an update on this site to show that it is still alive.

1) The Vocation Retreat was a big success, we had an overwhelming 53 young men who came to find out more how God is calling them to serve Him in His kingdom. Thanks for the prayers, especially the one all the way from Japan.

2) I've updated the links on this blog, to include those of the priests featured, and a few other friends/groups who use blogs to spread the wonders that God is working in their lives.

3) Do keep us seminarians in your prayers as they finish up their assignments and sit for their exams this coming week.

4) And lastly, do pray for us seminarians in the month of june, some who will be going for their retreat, and others like myself who will be going for our pastoral work, that God will continue to bless us with His grace, and that we will be powerful witnesses of His Good News to all we encounter.

The next post will most probably be when I'm in St Joseph's Home for my pastoral. Will share more on what God reveals to me there.

Old Testament Joke

2007-05-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

Here's a joke we heard in our scripture class.

Q: Who was the greatest sinner in the Old Testament?
A: Moses, because he broke all the ten commandments in one day.

Been too busy to blog. But just going to do a short one.

If you are reading this between 11-13 May, do pray for the Vocation Discernment Retreat that is going on. We've got a good number of young man coming to discover how God is calling them to serve Him in their lives. So pray for us organisers and the participants. That this weekend be a wonderful encounter with the Lord.

Thanks and God bless you all.

P.S. Even if you read this post after the retreat, just say a short prayer for the retreat and vocations in general. With God there is no time difference ;)

You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders

2007-04-28T17:23:00.000+08:00

This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Catholics and will put us to the test! Always remember (as I try to remember) that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Catholic.

This is the last paragraph of the 5 Cents story I posted on mon. I got it again in my email today, but what is more weird is that today on the MRT back from our pastoral at St Joseph's Home, I encountered an example similar to this.

Two of us seminarians were on the NEL chatting away, talking about the upcoming Vocation Retreat. When two seats became available, we sat down and continued talking. Then I heard the word "seminarian" whispered, and I overheard a middle-aged couple sitting opposite us talking about us both, that we are seminarians, and that she recognised the logo on our t-shirts. I must have been straining my ears to catch what they might be saying about us, when the woman and I made eye-contact. She mouthed the words seminarian, and I just smiled back, nodded my head and mouth back yes.

After that it was this weird situation, the couple were in this kena caught talking about people mode and did not look over at us, and I was stuck wondering what I should be doing. The train was still quite full with people standing around, so was like quite awkward to start a conversation across the train carriage. Thoughts like should we introduce ourselves, make small talk. So in the end all I managed to do was wave and say goodbye when they got off at the stop.

This was like the situation of the priest in the bus in the 5 Cents story. The idea of me being a public figure has not really sunken in. There have been instances before where strangers have recognised and approached me. But the story and this incident, reminds me that there could also be others who might be observing me without me knowing. Now as a seminarian, more so as a priest. This means that I could be proclaiming Christ through my actions, or a cause of scandal for others by my actions.

But I think the scarier thing would for me to be so conscious of myself and image, that it becomes hypocritical. That I do good so that others may see, or portray a front, instead of changing the inner-reality of my life. Thus I pray for the grace to change my life, so that what is inside me, is what people see on the outside, "the name of Christ on my shoulders". Or as the bishop would say during the ordination rite when he hands the book of Gospels over

"believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach."

We are Easter People

2007-04-27T17:59:00.000+08:00

This phrase "We are Easter People", is something I sometimes hear when I go for funeral wakes. Often by faith-filled family members who believe that their loved one is in the loving arms of God. We are Easter People, because Christ has died for our sins, and risen over death, and will bring us to eternal life with Him. So all this time, the term Easter people, has always been about celebrating Christ's victory over death, and giving us salvation.

But this year, Easter people has taken on a new meaning for me. It all started with the Vespers on the Feast of St Mark the Evangelist. The Psalter Antiphons were in relation to Mark as the Evangelist and his mission to spread the Gospel a.k.a. the Good News.

I have become a minister of the Gospel according to the bountiful gift of God, alleluia.

I do all things for the sake of the Gospel, to have a share in his blessings, alleluia.

To me this grace was given, to preach to the peoples the unsearchable riches of Christ, alleluia.

Somehow they struck me, especially the second one "I do all things for the sake of the Gospel." I guess because I think it is a struggle for me to see all that I do as for the sake of the Gospel. The more I reflected on it, especially in the following days meditation, I realised that the readings for Easter season focus on the spread of the Gospel, the Good News that Christ is risen.

We have the stories of Mary Magdalene and the Emmaus disciples bringing the news to the disciples. But more importantly the great commission of Jesus, to the disciples to proclaim the Good News to the ends of the earth. And this week in the first readings, we have the stories of Peter, Steven, Philip and my favourite Saul.

Indeed, Easter isn't just about us celebrating this wonderful event for ourselves. It is a challenge for us to live as Easter People, that is, to share this Good News to everyone we meet. Each time in the Mass, when we come to celebrate that paschal mystery, when we partake in the Eucharist, it is so that we can carry that mystery, that Good News out of the Mass, and proclaim it to the world, in the lives that we live. To be Easter people really is to live (or attempt our very best) like the Evangelist

"I do all things for the sake of the Gospel, to preach to the peoples the unsearchable riches of Christ."

Was Jesus a Christian?

2007-04-23T09:45:00.000+08:00

After seeing Gerry and even Sr Wendy updating their blogs, and the constant reminder by a fellow brother that Christ has resurrected already, its time that my blog rose from its silence since Ash Wednesday. And with even MSC starting to blog on not one but three blogs, how God is working in their lives, really gives me the motivation to follow their example. You can find the blogs here, here and here.

This also coupled with the fact that I've had a constant theme hammering into my head from friday to today.

It all started with the Gospel on Friday Jn 6:1-15, when we were doing sharing, the phrase that struck me was "A large crowd followed him". This verse struck me, because just the day before I saw this interesting post on the S.A.L.T. blog on Godtube.com, the christian version of youtube. There I saw the christian version of the Mac vs. PC ads, Christian vs. Christ Follower, which i've put at the end of this post for your viewing pleasure. Anyway back to the Gospel passage, I contrasted the "Large crowd" that followed Christ but were receiving, and the disciples who were serving.

This got me thinking of what it means to be a Christ follower like in the videos. Ironically as much as the spoof ads were trying to criticise the "Christian" with his rigid rule following, the "Christ follower" goes the other extreme of not bothering with any rules, going on own personal preferences. There is another video on Godtube which talks about this. The balance that we need to find is not to be a slave to rules of the religion, and also not to totally disregard the rules. Like Jesus said, the Law was made for man, to help man to live the way God intended. but not to take it to the extreme of the pharisees. We need to know what the spirit of the Law is, and how it is helping us to live the Christian Life.

Anyway, over saturday, I was struck down by severe diarrhea, and during the many times I was on my "thinking seat" a question occurred to me - "We know Jesus was a Jew, but was Jesus a Christian?" It really made me think, and fundamentally it really boils down to what is the definition of a Christian. Is he one who believes in Christ? follows Christ? does good? As I thought about it further, it wasn't about reaching a yes or no answer to the question, it was really about what it meant to be Christian.(must be all the philosophy classes getting into my head) But anyway I got carried away, and started thinking how maybe that would be a good way for cathechism or RCIA, where the class debates over yes or no. Ultimately they will have to answer what it means to be Christian first.

Anyway, carrying on the theme of following Christ, in Sunday's Gospel, we see again Jesus' command in the last two words of the Gospel - "Follow Me". This being after Christ asked Peter of his love, and to feed and tend His sheep. And in today's Gospel, we see Jesus' commenting on the "Large crowd that followed Him", that they were following Him for the wrong reasons.

So really, what does it mean to be Christian, Christ follower, disciple, believer... at the end of the day the name itself isn't important. It is how it translates into our life that counts.

I will end of with this inspirational story that I received this morning, then I have to get back to my studies and all my assignments.

P.S. Jude just passed me a copy of the Catholic News. And on the front page the quote says "Come, follow me. I will make you Fishers of Men."

A priest moved to a new parish and some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the city. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a 5 cents too much change.

As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, "You'd better give the 5 cents back. It would be wrong to keep it." Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only 5 cents. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God' and keep quiet."

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the 5 cents to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change." The driver with a smile replied, "Aren't you the new priest in my parish? I have been thinking lately about going to mass. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday"

When the priest stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest lamp post, held on, and said, "Oh God, I almost sold your Son for 5 cents."

Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read.

This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Catholics and will put us to the test! Always remember (as I try to remember) that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Catholic."

Christian vs. Christ Follower Ads

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Ash Wednesday

2007-02-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the year again, the day when we mark our foreheads with ashes and make lenten resolutions. This year somehow it has a "New Yearish" feeling to it. I'm getting emails on lent and ash wednesday and fasting. I'm reading blogs with people writing of their thoughts on ash wednesday and their lenten resolutions.

This year as I think of my own resolutions, I am reminded once again of the spirit behind whatever I plan to do. Firstly, by my own post last year where I'm reminded that whatever I plan to do or give up, has to lead to a filling up with God. And secondly, reading Fr Chris' reflection for today invites me to be discerning about what I plan to do.

This is the aim that we will have to keep continually before us even as we journey through these forty days. This is the purpose that we have to consider in choosing the places we will visit, the kinds of prayer, fasting and almsgiving we will undertake. And in making our choices it is probably less important what we do, than why we do it. Our activities will be helpful only in so far as they help us to turn more wholeheartedly to the Lord.

At mass I found myself thinking of which meals I wanted to fast, what activities I wanted to give up, and how I wanted cut away all distractions. But still I find myself falling back into the old habit of just concentrating on what I want to give up (and maybe slim down after all that CNY feasting).

Praise God for these two timely and apt reminders, and also for the other people who have inspired me with their efforts to make this lent holy through their emails and blogs. May God bless all our efforts, give us strength to persevere and humility not to forget that it is not by our own efforts, but by His love and Holy Spirit that He has given us that we are able to continue..

Rosebud

2007-02-13T21:40:00.000+08:00

A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals.

The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact .. . It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.

Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem:

It is only a tiny rosebud
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
Then, in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
The flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim's way.

The pathway that lies before me
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

Got this in an email today, and found it quite inspiring.
So often I like the young preacher am so impatient... stubborn... unsure... unworthy... on this journey, and we wish to know what is ahead and in store for us before we make a decision and take the next step on this journey. But God is inviting us to trust in Him, and walk each step at a time, because He is our destination, and yet He is walking by our side all the time.

Just as I was about to post this, I found this on someone's blog, who herself is struggling to feel God's presence by her side.

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord.

Sandals for the Journey

2007-02-11T13:22:00.000+08:00

Another reflection I had from last thursday's Gospel from Mk 6:7-13 was inspired by the sharing of one of the brothers in the seminary. He highlighted the point that when Jesus sent out the twelve, He instructed them to take a staff and to wear sandals because it would be a long journey.

Then he summoned the Twelve and began to send them out in pairs giving them authority over the unclean spirits. And he instructed them to take nothing for the journey except a staff - no bread, no haversack, no coppers for their purses. They were to wear sandals but, he added, 'Do not take a spare tunic'. - (Mk 6:7-9)

The words "long journey" struck me, and got me thinking. Now that I am on this journey that Christ has sent me on, am I wearing sandals? Why do I need to wear sandals for this journey? And what are these sandals that are going to be helping me on my journey.

It immediately brought to mind what happened to me on my way back to the seminary the day before. I decided to take a slow walk back to the seminary from Punggol MRT station, under the "white elephant" of a LRT line that is not in service, but at least it gives me shade. So as I was walking, reading my book, I realised that I had walked into a patch of mud. Seeing no way of walking around it, I just decided to go through it as quickly as possible. At the end of it, the bottom and sides of my sandals were caked in mud, with just a bit overflowing onto my feet. This image told me that is what sandals are for. They provide comfort from the hard rocks and hot roads and they provide protection for the feet from getting muddy and dirty.

So on this spiritual journey, that we are on, what are these sandals that Christ is asking us to put on? I think it is not so much a what, more of a who. Personally I felt, that these sandals are the close friends that walk with us on this journey. They give us comfort, protect us from getting dirty. But the most striking symbolism that I got out of this whole reflection was, they are the ones that we step on, and so easily take for granted. Only when you make the mistake of walking into mud (or deep shit), and they are the ones who get dirty for you, then you realise the importance of having them.

And that is the amazing about our Lord. He knows that when we start this journey, we would need these sandals. Maybe that is why those who try to go on it alone, either get discouraged, or will find some sandals on their way.Personally, I am glad for the sandals that God has given me. So often I have taken them for granted, and God is reminding me, to take good care of them, because they will take good care of me.

So who are your sandals on your journey? Maybe go up to them, send them a sms or an email, and say:

"Thanks for being my sandals for this journey. Thanks for the comfort and protection you have given me all this time. I know that I don't say this much, but I appreciate all that you have done for me."

And send them a link to this post, so that they know what you are talking about. Not many people like to be called sandals.

Last question...."Who am I a sandal for???" Something to think and reflect about.

First-hand or Second-hand Faith?

2007-02-09T15:46:00.000+08:00

One of the first few things I learnt in the seminary was the difference between a second-hand faith and a first-hand faith. The second-hand faith was a faith that was passed down to a person either from their parents, spouse or even friends. Whereas a first-hand faith was one that was earned and gained by that person himself.

"When that whole generation had been gathered to its ancestors, another generation followed it which knew neither the Lord nor the deeds which he had done for the sake of Israel." (Jg 2:10)

When we reached the Book of Judges in our Salvation History class this year, we saw how the Israelites were unfaithful to God. When the generation that had experienced the miracles of the Lord from the Exodus to the Promised Land, had passed away, the subsequent generations gave up their own faith. Because they were relying on a faith based on an experience that was not their own, but that of their forefathers.

Looking at our lives through the lens of the lives of the Israelites, we too are in danger of having history repeat itself, where the next generation lacks depth in their faith, if we too do not help them to encounter the Lord in their lives. That next generation is the youth we have in our church today. Children who are brought up following their parents to church for mass and Catechism classes. The youth who are searching for their identity amidst a society marked by relativism, materialism.

There will come a point in a youth’s life where they start to realize that the faith they practice, all the do’s and don’ts, are their parent’s and not their own. Especially in this generation that is not afraid to ask the question, “Why must I…?”, unless they encounter the Lord personally, the faith becomes just rituals and laws that have little impact on their lives. Sin becomes a breaking of a rule more than a breaking of a relationship with God.

So how can we facilitate our youth to have that encounter of the Lord? How do we help them to take ownership of their faith, to move from a second-hand faith to a first-hand faith? I personally went through such a period in my life, where the faith was just a way of life, about how to be good. Not one based on a relationship with a living and loving God. And as I look back at my own conversion and transformation, I can summarize some of the things that have helped me into the letters A–E–I–O–U.

Affirmation & Encouragement
If we are dealing with a set of rules and laws then the negative motivation of correction and punishment would be the way to enforce them. But since we are trying to cultivate a relationship, we need to positively motivate our youth. This means affirming their past actions, and encouraging them to continue and to grow in their faith journey even if they falter. We need to affirm them of the gifts they have, and encourage them to use and develop these gifts in their ministry.

Evangelization

"It is unthinkable that a person should accept the word and give himself to the kingdom without becoming a person who bears witness to it and proclaims it in his turn." (Evangelization in the Modern World – Pope Paul VI)

One of the areas we need to encourage our youths would be the mission aspect of their faith. In the deepening of my own faith, I discovered that my faith has to include a mission, just like the disciples, God wants us to “Go out to the whole world; proclaim the gospel to all creation” – Lk 16:15. If we have truly discovered a treasure in our encounter with the Lord, we should be like the disciples at Emmaus, who rushed back to Jerusalem to tell the others the Good News that the Lord is risen. That is evangelization. God has a purpose for each and every one of us, to continue that Mission, which is part of the vocation that He is calling us to.

Inspiration not just Instruction
On teachers’ day this year, the newspapers carried many stories of great teachers. And when we look at the testimony of the students, we see a common trend. Teachers are remembered not for what they taught, but for how they inspired their students with the love and conviction with which they taught. In trying to help our youth have a first-hand faith, not only do we need to instruct them on the faith, we also need to inspire them by our own lives. Priests, parents, teachers and especially among the peers, need to show by the examples of their lives, that they lead Christ-like lives, rather than on the values of the world. This is especially true in the way we handle the difficult situations in our lives, just like the early Christians, with courage, trust in the Lord and above all, Love.

Opportunity
We also need to create the opportunity for the youths to experience the Lord. We need to have activities that cater to the broad range of youths of different spiritualities and different levels of faith. What we need are fun activities like camps, games, social activities to attract the youths and allow them to meet and interact with other youths who are convicted in their faith. Included also are mission trips and retreats for youths to empower and to deepen their faith. Small youth communities where youths can come together to learn more about the faith, share, support and challenge one another on their faith journey should also be considered.

Uniqueness & Unity

"For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another." (Rom 12:4–5)

St Paul beautifully expresses what it means to be Church in his analogy of the many parts of the body. The youths in the parishes cannot be alienated from the rest, neither should they minister nor be ministered to just like the rest of the members of the parish. Even among the youths, there will appear differences in age, charisms and ministries. The challenge would be to nurture them in the uniqueness and yet bond and unite them to identify themselves as Christian youths, and as part of the Church.

This is the article that I mentioned two posts ago. I wrote it for last years edition of the seminary magazine "The Journey". Actually only the first part about First-hand or Second-hand faith is related to the post on God having no grandchildren. The second part is just some ways in my own life that has helped me move from second to first-hand faith, or a discovery of my true image as a child of God. There were some photos in the article, which I will try to add on later. Also if anyone wants a copy of the seminary magazine which has other articles by the seminarians, you can email me at and I will try to get it to you.

Fishermen and Fish, Shepherds and Sheep

2007-02-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Just after uploading my last post on the minister and the ministered not being on the same level, I open my email and see Fr Cantalamessa's sermon on this Sunday's readings. Here's a short extract. Go here for the full text.

But the difficulty which I noted reappears in another form. Let's say that we do need shepherds and fishermen. Why is it that some should have the role of fishermen and others of fish, and some that of shepherds and others that of sheep and flock. The relationship between fisherman and fish, as that between shepherd and sheep, suggests the idea of inequality, of superiority. No one likes being just a number in the flock and recognizing a shepherd over him.

Here we need to rid ourselves of a certain prejudice. In the Church no one is only a fisherman or only a shepherd, and no one is only a fish or a sheep. We are all, in different ways, all at the same time. Christ is the only one who is simply a fisherman and simply a shepherd.

Before becoming a fisher of men Peter himself was fished for and fished for again, many times. He was, literally, fished for when, walking on the waves, he was overcome with fear and was on the point of sinking; he was fished for again, above all, after his betrayal of Jesus. He had to experience what it meant to be a "lost sheep" so that he could learn what it meant to be a good shepherd; he had to be fished out of the depths of the abyss into which he had fallen in order to learn what it meant to be a fisher of men.

God Has No Grandchildren

2007-02-01T22:08:00.000+08:00

Reflecting on today's first reading(Heb 12:18-19,21-24), the phrase that struck me was

everyone is a 'first-born son'

The first thing this brought to mind me of was an email that a friend had just sent to me yesterday.

Judges 2:10 (JB) says: "When that generation too had been gathered to its fathers, another generation followed it which knew neither the Lord nor the deeds that he had done for the sake of Israel."
They had forgotten. We must become children of God. Every generation has to be Converted anew. Each generation has to be called into God's life to know the fidelity of God, to step out, and to base their life on the word of God. It's not enough to say that my mother was Catholic, my father was Christian. Until you come to that moment in your life when you choose the God you will serve, you have not begun to experience conversion. The reason that the word of the Lord does not speak to our people is because, most simply, they have never been converted. Many church-goers are in fact baptized pagans. Our parent's faith is not ours until we walk the journey ourselves. God has no grandchildren.

This reminds me of the article that I wrote for the Seminary Magazine last year on First-hand or Second-hand faith. Which then reminded me that I still haven't posted that article on this blog. The great procrastinator I am.

But as I reflected further, what really struck me was the word "EVERYONE". That everyone...all are first-born children of God. No first class/second class, no senior/junior, no smart/stupid (you get the point). This is the struggle that I faced last week, when we went to St Joseph's Home for our pastoral. The supervisor told us to just treat all of the residents as another human person and we will be fine. But that's like the easiest thing to say but most difficult thing to do. I was very nice to the people there, smiling, making small talk to those who I could understand and communicate with. But at the end of the day, the realisation was still that I was not able to see them as an equal, as another first-born child of God. I saw them as ministry, as people in need of assistance, who I could give something to but who are unable to give back to me.

Yes, I could say, they gave me the opportunity to love, to be humble, to be in touch with human frailty. But those still do not mask the fact that I fail to see them as a fellow brother or sister. I see their bodily weaknesses but am unable to see that equal God image that makes us one and the same. To put it simply, there is a sense of superiority, a sense of having to go down to their level and not that we are all on the same level.

And as I reflect on the Gospel(Mk 6:7-13) where Jesus sends out the disciple, I realise that this goes further in actually all my ministry. Am I able to see the God image in another person? Or do I feel that I have something to offer to this person that he or she lacks. We always talk about conversion, but maybe we have been looking at the conversion of the person, from bad to good, from sinner to saint. But what the actual conversion should be is a conversion of heart, to help a person discover his true image, who he really is, a child of God, not about changing his image.

I think that this has been my challenge, what it really means to love the person for who they are. In the case of the people in St Joseph's home, to love not out of sympathy or pity or charity(as we have cheapen the word today), but to love them because they are God's children, my brothers and sisters. Equal in the most basic and important way. And in the case of ministry, to be able to be of service, because of what I have that they don't, but because of what they are and to appreciate that in them.

You are kinda missing the point

2007-01-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today in the Introduction to Old Testament class, we began first with an intro to the Bible. And Fr Vaz gave a very simple way to explain something we learnt in Salvation History last year. He wrote this four words on the board.

Story -> Message
Event -> Experience

Basically it means that the bible contains so many stories, especially the old testament, but what is more important is the message behind it. When we look at an event in the bible, lets say the story of Gideon in Judges Chapter 7, are we more interested in how the 300 Israelites defeated 135,000 enemies, whether they used the pincer attack, hammer and anvil (Terms I learnt in the army). Or are we really interested in the God-Message which the writer was trying to convey to us - That God was delivering His people from their enemies; that with His power 300 men can defeat a great army; and most important of all for the Israelites that He is the true God and to turn away from their idols. This is how we are to understand the Scriptures, to discover the God-Message in each passage. Once we get the message, the story fades away, and then we are challenged to apply it to our lives.

This clip from Narnia really illustrates for me in two ways this whole idea of missing the message for the story. Here the beaver is explaining the prophecy to the children, and Susan remarks that it doesn't rhyme. This must be how God must have been how the wise men must have felt when they consulted the chief priests and scribes. These guys knew the words of the prophecy, but didn't know the message.

The second way is something which is from my own experience, though some of you may also share it. As a young child, my mum would borrow the video of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe from the church library, and me and my sisters would watch the cartoon over and over again, to the point of being able to repeat the lines of the characters. But embarrassing to say, it was only just a few years ago, that I found out that C.S. Lewis was a Christian writer, and that Narnia was an allegory with Christian meanings. All the time I was watching it as a child, I thoroughly enjoyed the story and the characters, but was always wondering what this show was doing in a church library. The only message I could see was good defeating the evil. I never saw Aslan as Christ who sacrificed his innocent life for the life of Edmund, the resurrection, and all those other Christian themes in the show.

It really hits hard when I realise, that as much as I can be critical of the scribes, judas and even the jewish people for failing to see Christ in front of them, this one movie sorely reminds me that it happens to me and anyone of us. So often we miss the message and just concentrate on the story. And actually what Fr Vaz wrote goes even further than just stories. Events and the Experience. Are we focusing on the event and not the experience, not just those recorded in the Bible, but those that happen in our lives. He used the example of Christmas, are we so caught up with the deco, the dressing up, the crib, the food that we forget the real experience of God's love for us. I guess this example has been "nagged" to us every year.

But another example I found very relevant to our current life is whether we are missing the point of the mass. Have we been so caught up with the mass as an event, and missing out on the God-experience. This thought came to my mind when I read a question in Zenit 17/1/2007, asking "What is the position now on people not going to Sunday Mass in their own parishes?" This is a growing phenomenon, especially in Singapore, where it is so easy to go to another parish, maybe because the priest preaches better, the choir sings nicer, more parking, aircon...the list goes on. But as Father Edward McNamara answers in his reply, while the people are not obliged to go to their own parish for mass, it is highly encouraged. Because that is where one's community is. And our faith is one which has a strong community element. But these days most people are going for mass out of obligation not because of a sense of belonging to a community. While that is kind of the first step, but then we have to move further into the meaning of the mass. Are we among strangers or experiencing the communion with our fellow brothers and sisters? Are we there to celebrate mass or to attend mass? To give thanks or to ask for favours?

Another article in tuesday's Digital Life about Singapore animators, has this guy saying that when he watches animation movies, he finds himself trying to figure out what technology and algorithms the movie was made with. Reminded me so much of when people are SO caught up with the liturgy of the mass and missing the whole experience.

Just realised that there are so many examples of missing the point. The one sermon of Fr Chris Soh that I can remember was on the feast of the 3 Archangels, during my 8 day retreat at Kingsmead Hall. He spoke about Angels being God's messengers, but instead of looking at the message, we try to figure out whether Angels really exist. He went on to explain the meaning of Michael(Who is like God), Gabriel(Strength of God) and Raphael(Healing of God). But it is so typical of us to know their names but not their message.

Ok, this post is getting out of hand...Going to end of with one last line, just so you get the message of this whole post.

Stop being Caught up with the Story and Missing the Message.

Synergy

2007-01-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

This afternoon, just before our mid-day prayer, I was doing some thinking of advertisments which can be used for sessions to explain the faith or values, when the Honda advert below came to mind. I was quite delighted with that idea when lo and behold, the Scripture reading for our mid-day prayer was:

As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit - 1Cor 12:12-13.

This kind of things can really give you a WOW! feeling of God's presence.

Honda Ad - Cog

I was thinking about the idea of community, being many different parts AND working together, which was why I thought of this ad. But as I thought further, there is also another more subtle lesson to learn from this ad. While it was nice to see the "domino" effect of the many different parts of the car from the start to the beginning, that is all it is - nice to see but going nowhere. And my realisation was that it was because the different parts were doing things that were not their intended purpose. Why is the wiper crawling on the floor? Why is the exhaust pipe spinning around? Sure they fulfilled some function, but in the end they did not move very far. Then we look at the finished product, the car. The car is made up of all those parts, used in the correct way, each one doing what they were meant to do, and the end result is that the car moves, and all the parts move together and further.

That is SYNERGY. One of those coporate buzzwords that we try to use to make our presentations more impressive and bombastic. I still remember one of my modules in uni, where there was this student we called "Synergy guy", because at every tutorial we had, he was sure to talk about synergy. Synergy is the phenomenon that takes place when two or more things working together achieve more than the sum of their individual achievements. In english, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. In maths, that means 1 + 1 = 3 or 4 or 5.5...

And maybe that is what is lacking in the Church and communities. There are many different talents, different gifts, different individuals, all moving on their own and but not moving together and thus not getting very far. Some want to move, but on their own they only move a certain distance. Others are not even moving. How do we achieve this synergy? How do we move together.

Using the ad as an example, I think it really stems from knowing one's purpose. The wheel is meant to rotate, but it needs to be connected to the engine to go fast and far. The nut on the other hand shouldn't be rolling around, it should be holding the parts of the car together. The wiper definitely shouldn't be wiping the ground, it should be cleaning the windscreen to make sure the driver can see where to go. Sadly to say, we are hampered by some parts who are standing alone and not connected, some parts who are playing roles they are not supposed to be doing, or doing it because the ones meant to do it are not doing it.

Personally, I know I am probably in one of those catergories, and that is why I know I have to continue on this road of discovery of self (who God made me to be), and purpose (what He wants me to do). And the last part of fitting myself into the bigger picture of the communities I am in and the Church as a whole. Working with other different individuals so that synergy can take place, to accomplish Christ's mission here on earth, and bring all of us together into eternal life.

Fr Chris Soh, WYD '08

2007-01-14T17:08:00.000+08:00

Now I know why my friend asked me about the wedding at Cana. Anyway I just found out that Fr Christopher Soh, S.J. has a blog which he puts up reflections on the daily readings. And I found the one on today's readings to be very good. Fr Chris is a very good preacher, and it was a joy to listen to his homilies. I can still remember the homily he preached on the Feast of the Archangels, when I was doing my 8-day retreat in 2005.

Another event that has been building up excitement is the World Youth Day in Sydney in July 2008. It is almost exactly 1.5 yrs away, or as the website says 547 days to go.

Some interesting information I found on the website

Dates : 14-20 July 2008
Venue : Sydney (duh!)
The basic tenets of World Youth Day are:

An expression of the universal Church
An instrument of evangelization of the young
An 'Epiphany' of the youth of the Church
An effective sign of ecclesial union
A pilgrimage of faith, both spiritually and practically

Costs of the WYD packages can be found here.
They range from A$175 - A$395(excluding airfare)
If you don't want to pay, you can sign up as a volunteer, which could be an interesting experience by itself.
For a more enriching experience, there is the "Days in the Diocese" event which takes place in the dioceses around Sydney from 10-14 Jul. This is where you can spend time in one of the dioceses, and take part in special activities that they organise before everyone makes their way to Sydney. I wouldn't mind going for the Melbourne one.
You can listen to Fr Roderick's Podcasts live from WYD '05 in Cologne, Germany.

Personally, I had a wonderful experience in Manila, Philippines on 1995, and I believe Sydney would be a greater one, because of the change in my own faith life and this whole idea of being part of a universal Church. Hope to see you there.

God's wine is the best!

2007-01-11T13:23:00.000+08:00

First day back in the seminary, and taking a short break from all the cleaning up that we have to do. This year we are low on manpower, only 14 of us compared to 23 seminarians last year. So more work to go around.

This morning I read a sms from a friend, asking me something about the Wedding at Cana (Jn 2:1-11). He asked "What is the significance of the line "Everyone serves good wine first......but you have kept the good wine until now."

The first thing that came to my mind, was that it was emphasizing the power of Jesus, to not only turn water into wine, but into good wine. Then as I was unpacking my stuff in my new room (we change room in the seminary every year) I saw a book I bought in the Philippines - Great Themes of Scripture: New Testament. In it I found a commentary on the Wedding at Cana, and a reference to the wine. It compared the wine of men which had run out with the wine that Jesus gave.

We want the wine of life, we want to taste something better than the daily drudgery which the world and cheap religion offer us.... We thought we had something good, but it turns out to be cheap wine compared with what he offers us. The relationship he invites us into is more than we ever could have expected. It sets our heads spinning! It makes us drunk with gladness! It's like gallons and gallons of the best wine!

And just before I started this post, I saw a referrer to my blog. Someone searched google for "homily + the miracle of changing the water into wine" and came to my blog.

I guess it is God's reminder for me as I begin this new year, that this is what I have in store for me this year... the best wine. Now all I need to do is to follow what Mother Mary told the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

Thank you Lord for this reminder of your promise to give the best to us. Help me to always surrender to your will, even if it were something as illogical as filling empty jars with water. As I strive to follow your will, fill me with your joy and peace which is like the best wine that nothing and no one else can give. Amen.

I Live My Life For You

2007-01-08T15:00:00.000+08:00

On 3rd Jan 2007, I was invited back to Maris Stella, my Alma Mater, to give a sharing to the students and staff on the first day of school. They were launching the theme for the year - "I Live My Life For You", and the teacher-in-charge wanted to use me as an example of a Marist who has gone on to live his life for others.

This all started when I got a sms from my ex-teacher, Mr Kwok. This was a man who could just stand on stage and stare quietly and the whole hall will be silent. Some bit of that "respect/fear" still remains to this day. So he asks me if i would answer some questions on my life that he would be able to use for his introductory presentation of the theme on the first day of school. And then after I emailed him the answers, he drops the bombshell, whether I could share that in person, on stage in front of the students and staff, on the first day of school.

In light of my latest catchphrase "Say Yes First, Ask Why Later", I look back at that event and can see all the answers to my Whys after saying Yes.

The first amazing thing was how wonderful our God works. First I meet Mr Kwok in OLPS when I was there on my one month pastoral in june. I never knew that he was Catholic. And just before I got his email, I met up with Fr Gerard Louis, CSSR, who was just ordained and he was telling me how he was celebrating mass back at his Alma Mater. This got me wondering, what can I do for Maris Stella? I will probably have to wait till I'm ordained before I would be able to go back to say mass or hear confessions. And then the email came. Great timing or what. This realization really only hit me, when I was on stage and sharing how this whole thing had taken place. My nervousness of my stage fright changed to an amazement of God's hand in it.

And this sharing was also not only about me giving back something to Maris Stella, I found myself gaining much more from it. As I stood at the side of the hall waiting to be called onto stage, I was listening to the presentation of the theme, and the challenge to live our lives for others, and when Mr Kwok introduced me as a Marist who is living that life. This has really caused me to stop and reflect. Am I really that example? Am I really living my life in the service of others? Sometimes it is so easy to take that for granted and to forget it.

Which brings me to the last thing that occurred to me - This Blog. This whole episode has inspired me to start blogging again after such a long break. While this blog was started out to help me in my reflections, and to improve my writing skills, there is also the element of sharing and testimony to God which could benefit those who read it. I must remember that if I blog, it is not only for myself, but that whoever reads it may be touched or inspired by God's working in my life.

I just found out that someone emailed my blog address to another person, and realised that my blog is getting around. In that email he talks about various ways that blogs can be used for ministry. Somehow that perspective has slowly been forgotten. Ironically I spoke about it at IHM two years ago. So thanks to Maris Stella for challenging me to "Live My Life for You" and Daniel too for reminding me of this ministry.

Novena - Say Yes First, Ask Why Later

2007-01-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

Dear brothers and sisters, we just celebrated the new year on Monday, which means this is the first novena of the year. I am sure that many of us over the course of the last few days have been reviewing the year that has gone by, and come up with resolutions, decisions, to change something, to do something. I too have gone through that process, of thinking how I can better live this year.

But this year as I was doing my new year resolutions, I have had a revelation in my life that I would like to share with you. I found myself asking “How am I going to live as a better Christian this year”. Actually it all started when I watched the movie “Nativity Story”. It is a really good movie, especially for the Christmas period, because it gives us an idea of the thoughts, the fears and the struggles that Mary and Joseph must have faced.

In the Nativity Story, there is one scene, where Mary and Elizabeth are grinding wheat and making bread. Elizabeth asks Mary, “Are you afraid?” and Mary replies “Yes”. Then Mary asks Elizabeth, “Elizabeth, Why is it me God has asked? I am nothing.” This question “Why is it me God has asked?” has been going through my mind ever since. “Why me? Why not someone else? Who am I? What have I to offer?” And the answer I got was, “If not you then who? I made you for a purpose, you are not some random act or an accident.”

And that is the amazing thing, my dear brothers and sisters, that God has a purpose, a reason for each and everyone of us being here today. There is a reason why we are all here in 2007, in Singapore, working or studying at a particular place, with the friends we have. All so that we can be like Mary, and bring the light and love of Jesus to the people around us and to the world.

I just read in yesterday’s NewPaper, a story about a man, Wesley Autrey, who jumped in front of a train to save a man who had fallen onto the tracks. In the interview he said, “I saw someone in distress and went to his aid”. And his mother added, “He was there to help somebody who needed help more than him. He didn't think twice. He dived in, like he said. He helped the guy and God helped them.” Notice the words “He didn’t think twice”, I think if I was there at the train station, I might have thought twice, “Why me, why do I have to be the one to jump onto the track to save the guy?” And by the time I think and think, the chance would have been gone. It really made me reflect on the many times I have hesitated, I have questioned God that I missed the opportunity.

I can recall a few instances of on the bus and MRT, when I see an elderly person needing a seat, I think should I, should I not? And by that time, someone else has already offered their seat. Too often I spend more time thinking of the Why God is asking me, instead of the more important question of What God is asking me? We see Wesley Autrey who did what he had to do. We also have a perfect Christian model in Mary, who said Yes to God. She only questioned later, Why her, not because she wished it was someone else, but the wonder and awe that God would choose her who is nothing.

So my brothers and sisters, the question that we need to ask ourselves as we begin this new year is “What is God asking?”. What is God asking me to do this year? What is God asking me to do in my life? Who does He want me to reach out to?

It could be a simple gesture of visiting an old folks home to bring joy to the residents there. It could be to bring reconciliation among family members. These are only examples, because as I said earlier, each and everyone of us is unique, in our own different circumstances. And God is calling each of us to be Light of the World and Salt of the Earth here and now.

For me I know God is calling me back to the Seminary after my holidays, to continue my formation, to continue to grow in my relationship. I ask that you keep all of us seminarians in your prayers, and also to continue to pray for more vocations to the priesthood and religious life. That more young men and women will find out what God is asking of them, and that they will have the courage like Mother Mary, to say Yes first, and ask Why later. Amen

How To Start A Spiritual Journal

2006-07-20T01:48:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me how I knew who visited my blog or what they searched to find my blog. And coupled with the fact that someone searched for "how to start a spiritual journal", and landed on my blog. I thought maybe I should have a post on what's available to for a beginner to start a spiritual blog.

Well first you get a blog. I recommend Easy to use and very used friendly. Just sign up, select a display template you like and you can begin blogging.

Blogger itself has a tool for you to insert images/photos into your posts. But I personally prefer A bit more complicated, but gives you more options.

If you want to know stats like how many people visited your blog, which country they come from, how they came to your blog, what browsers they use... I use the counter from performancing.com You just sign up, copy the code generated and insert it into your blog template. It is quite interesting to see some of the stats. For example I will know when Fr Luke visits this blog, because he is the rare one who uses a Mac and Safari.

Talking about browsers, I've noticed more people coming to my blog using Mozilla Firefox. Good for you. For those still using Microsoft Internet Explorer, its time to change to a better more secure browser.

Another good tool, for reading blogs, is This is an online RSS aggregator, which means it will search your list of blogs for updated posts, and show them to you everytime you login. All you need to do is to add the RSS feeds of your favourite blogs to it, and you can check the updates macam like checking email. You can also put up and links on your blog so that people can easily add your blog to their RSS readers.

There are more stuff you can add to your blog, like changing the template, adding music, videos. Two things I'm thinking of, but haven't had the time to find out is adding categories and a tag board to my blog. Feel free to give me suggestions on how I can go about doing it. Thanks

Where are my gold coins?

2006-07-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

Went for OLPS Youth Mentors session last night. The sharing passage was the Parable of the Talents (Mt 25:14-30).

The version that was read out was from the Good News Bible, and so instead of talents, the master gave out 5000/2000/1000 gold coins. And so when one guy shared that he sees the gold coins as the people we meet, it got me thinking. This was something new. We always looked at the parable as asking us what we are going to do with the gifts/talents that God has given us. Maybe its because most of the versions we read uses the word talents.

So lets say God has given me 5 friends filled with faith, do I just keep those friends for myself, or not even use them. Or do I use this group of people, to bring the faith to others, so that at the end of the day, I don't go back to God saying, here are the 5 friends you have given me. We went for mass together, prayed, I've kept them in the faith and we have kept your commandments. Then God says "You wicked, lazy servant!"

Unfair right. That's what one of the youths also remarked last night. I gave Him back all He gave me. I didn't lose a single one. How come God is still so harsh. I think it is really because of our understanding of being Christian. This reminds me of a previous post about the book "From Maintenance to Mission". Maybe we are just thinking of Maintenance, while God is looking at Mission. Maybe we are looking at how to keep members in the groups, Catholics in the faith, that we are falling short in terms of Mission.

Too often when I read this passage, I think of all the talents that God has given to me, and how I can use them to do His work. Maybe its time for me to see how I can use the people and resources He has sent me to also do His work. After all He does say that our faith is worth more than gold. How rich we are, when we look at all the "gold" around us.

On a slightly related note, someone once said that a priest affects the lives of 5000 people in his lifetime. Hmm...sounds like 5000 gold coins. Wah stress man, higher expectations.

The Brownies

2006-07-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

Found this interesting story in the S.A.L.T. blog. Hmm, gives me food for thought for the movies I watch.

Also reminds me of the wonderful (poop-free) brownies my sister makes which I have no doubt is part of the cause of my sore throat.

Two teenagers asked their father if they could go the theater to watch a movie that all their friends had seen. After reading some reviews about the movie on the internet, he denied their request.

"Aw dad, why not?" they complained. "It's rated PG-13, and we're both older than thirteen!"

Dad replied: "Because that movie contains nudity and portrays immorality, which is something that God hates, as being normal and acceptable behavior."

"But dad, those are just very small parts of the movie! That's what our friends who've seen it have told us. The movie is two hours long and those scenes are just a few minutes of the total film! It's based on a true story, and good triumphs over evil, and there are other redeeming themes like courage and self-sacrifice. Even the Christian movie review websites say that!"

"My answer is 'no,' and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over, and watch one of the good videos we have in our home collection. But you will not go and watch that film. End of discussion."

The two teenagers walked dejectedly into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As they sulked, they were surprised to hear the sounds of their father preparing something in the kitchen. They soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and one of the teenagers said to the other, "Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he's going to try to make it up to us with some fresh brownies. Maybe we can soften him with lots of praise when he brings them out to us and persuade him to let us go to that movie after all."The teens were not disappointed. Soon their father appeared with a plate of warm brownies which he offered to his kids. They each took one.

Then their father said, "Before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you both so much." The teenagers smiled at each other with knowing glances. Dad was softening. "That is why I've made these brownies with the very best ingredients. I've made them from scratch. Most of the ingredients are even organic. The best organic flour. The best free-range eggs. The best organic sugar. Premium vanilla and chocolate." The brownies looked mouth-watering, and the teens began to become a little impatient with their dad's long speech. "But I want to be perfectly honest with you. There is one ingredient I added that is not usually found in brownies. I got that ingredient from our own back yard. But you needn't worry, because I only added the tiniest bit of that ingredient to your brownies. The amount of the portion is practically insignificant. So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think."

"Dad, would you mind telling us what that mystery ingredient is before we eat?"

"Why? The portion I added was so small. Just a teaspoonful. You won't even taste it."

"Come on, dad, just tell us what that ingredient is." "Don't worry! It is organic, just like the other ingredients." -"Dad!

"Well, OK, if you insist. That secret ingredient is organic...dog poop.

Both teens instantly dropped their brownies back on the plate and began inspecting their fingers with horror. "DAD! Why did you do that? You've tortured us by making us smell those brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell us that you added dog poop! We can't eat these brownies!"

"Why not? The amount of dog poop is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients. It won't hurt you. It's been cooked right along with the other ingredients. You won't even taste it. It has the same consistency as the brownies. Go ahead and eat!"

"No, Dad...NEVER!"

"And that is the same reason I won't allow you to go watch that movie. You won't tolerate a little dog poop in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your movies? We pray that God will not lead us unto temptation, so how can we in good conscience entertain ourselves with something that will imprint a sinful image in our minds that will lead us into temptation long after we first see it.

Why do we tolerate any sin? On the day of the Passover, the Israelites were commanded to remove every bit of leaven from their homes. Sin is like leaven - a little bit leavens the whole lump (1 Cor. 5:6). And this is a good example of what a heresy is. It looks, tastes and sounds so real because it can be 99% true, just enough to grab our attention and distract us from the small percent that false/poison. And the small percent of poison ruins the whole concept/batch and leads us into sin. Satan is sly.

"Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler..."

World Cup Fever

2006-07-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

World Cup is over, but for me the fever is still on.
Have been down with the flu since the night of the finals.
Maybe cos neither brazil nor holland were in the finals.
But I think it's really the World Cup Fever, because my body seems to be on Germany time. I'm super tired in the day but now at night I can't seem to sleep.
What a way to be spending my holidays.

Why don't you want your son to join the seminary?

2006-07-09T02:22:00.000+08:00

I was just looking through the stats of visitors to my blog, and I saw that someone searched Google for the term"I don't want my son to join the seminary". Sounds like a mother, and of all sites she comes to my blog. Hopefully it helped her change her mind, and support her son to join the seminary. Because if God has called him, living out his vocation would be what would make him truly happy, and for a parent I think that's all that they wish for their children.

But it got me intrigued to what other terms people searched for and came to my blog. And I found a few other interesting ones.

Fr William Goh Wonder if he was searching for his own name

marcus chong on stage Hmm... Marcus what have you been doing on stage

bak-chor-mee mp3 For a while my site was listed 3rd after Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi. Riding on the bandwagon just to get more views ;Þ

jor-el kal-el gabriel raphael Looks like someone else has made the connection of the -el in the names.

prayer to keep you away from dirty thoughts Wished I knew the prayer too...

God & joke & confession This joke still keeps me tickled

There were some others on spiritual journals, margaret halaska and the few song lyrics I put up. But lacking was any on vocation except for the above one "anti-vocation" one. Maybe should talk more on my vocation and vocations in general.

What went wrong in a relationship

2006-07-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

Recently the parent-child relationship came up in my ministry. After that I found myself recalling an article I read that really turned the tables on the parent disciplining of the child.

Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K.Gandhi Institute for Non-violence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of a "non-violent" approach to parenting.

"I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.

One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father ask me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, 'I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.'

After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00. He anxiously asked me, 'Why were you late?' I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne movie that I said, 'The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait,' not realizing that he had already called the garage.

When he caught me in the lie, he said: 'There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home and think about it.' So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads for 18 miles. I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered.

I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again. I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of non-violence."

What struck me was the father's statment "There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth." This was a parent who took his role of bringing up his child seriously. It was a questioning of the relationship more than the lie itself.

This got me thinking about how some parents bring up their children. Most of the time when we talk about how a child is brought up, its always about how they were disciplined. But the problem with that is the focus on the negative correction not the positive affirmation and inspiration.

And the reason why I mentioned in my previous post about this was the reaction towards that one article. Maybe if we look at ourselves for the reasons behind incidents first, instead of others, we might learn more. Same with the way we teach the faith to our young ones, the fault seems to be on them not being interested, on the society's pressure, but not at our own convictions, our own faith, our own methods. Definitely it will also apply to parents. The values that they unconsciously pass on to their children. The focus on results or money more on character and relationships.

Forgive the rant... was just quite peeved by the situation.

Waking Up Late For Mass

2006-07-07T13:23:00.000+08:00

Haha, looks like I wasn't the only one who had alarm clock problems this morning. Fr Aloysius also woke up late for mass.

He forgot to turn on the button, as for me, my battery died. I woke up at 6.30 and realised that I was super late for morning mass at IHM which is at 6.15. I looked at my alarm clock and it showed 9.25. Stupid thing ran flat last night. More stupid me didn't notice it when I set the alarm last night. Unfortunately unlike Fr Aloysius, people don't wait for me to start the mass.

Anyway was supposed to go to IHM for mass because today is Fr Brian's and Fr Fred's Sacerdotal Anniversary. Fr Fred's 5th year as a priest and Fr Brian 4th Year. Fr Aloysius also celebrated his 3rd Anniversary last week. Happy Anniversary to all of you. May the Lord continue to bless you in your ministry, keep you healthy and happy.

Fr Aloysius also mentions the MICA/TODAY/Mr Brown Saga. Quite sad news actually. Mr Brown has been a really good source of entertainment over the years. I've been visiting his website since poly days, when it was a website not a blog. And like Kenneth said, when it was Singapore National Education which entertained us and kept us up to date on the happenings in Singapore, not podcasts.

Really interesting to see how all this blows up...I'm sure the spin doctors are going to have another busy time. Maybe this was part of the spin to handle the fallout of the elections. When will they learn. Hmm...This reminds me of another post that I wanted to put up. Shall get to it... My goodness I'm on a roll... Too much things wanting to blog about.

My Attorney

2006-07-07T13:01:00.000+08:00

I got this in my email today. Almost thought that it was spam because of the subject and my friend was using an email I didn't know of.

MY ATTORNEY

After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth came to the end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table. As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor." He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew Him. The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room I couldn't take my eyes off of Him. As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, "Let us begin."

The prosecutor rose and said, "My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell." He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and in the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I'd done? Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise."

When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward. As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty. I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior. He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, "Hi, Dad," and then He turned to address the court.

"Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations. And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished." Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine." My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy."

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said, "There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all." The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from His lips.."This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full. Case dismissed." As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't give up, I will win the next one."

I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?" Christ lovingly smiled and said, "Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them has received the same verdict as you,

~Paid In Full~

Stop telling God how big your storm is.
Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!

How Ironic

2006-07-07T11:05:00.000+08:00

Yes I've not blogged for a really long time.
So long in fact that when I tried to log in to blogger, I forgot my password for a while. And so ironic also because I had more internet access in the parish than when I was in the seminary. Even more ironic that my last post was "Whatcha Thinking Of? - Nothing".

Not that I've not been thinking of anything. There's lots of things that have been happening, lots of things to think about, lots new experiences. In fact maybe it's because there were too many things to blog about that I just kept delaying. That's my bad habit, I always want to blog things in sequential order. I know I had quite an inspiration from the X-Men movie, which was during exam period. Hopefully I can get down to writing my thoughts on that. All the other posts were held up because I wanted to get that one out first.

During this last month, I was in OLPS parish for my pastoral attachment. The world cup was on. Watched less of it than when I was having exams in melbourne. Fr Luke has gone off to Rome to study. Scripture, with Greek and Hebrew... (Padre Luca, you are in our prayers)

So yup now that I'm back home, on holiday, will probably be flooding my blog with lots of stuff that I've been putting on hold in my mind, before I forget them.

Novena - Courage & Peer-Pressure

2006-07-01T16:00:00.001+08:00

Below is my first homily I've ever given in church. Jovita lah, spoil market by doing novena last year when he was in the parish. When I first arrived at the parish, Fr Greg asked me to do it, and I told him that I don't really attend novena much less be able to lead it. Then after Fr Luke left, when we were at the weekly meeting, he asked me again to do it on my last weekend in the parish. That weekend, Fr Paul was preaching, Fr Greg had to do mandarin mass and bahasa indonesian mass. And I would have the opportunity to observe 2 novenas just to familiarize. So I accepted. Notified 2 weeks in advance, and stressed for those 2 weeks on what to say in the homily.

So just want to keep this in my blog, macam souvenior "My first homily".

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ. When Fr Greg asked me to lead today'’s Novena Devotion, my first reaction to him was, "“But Father, I don'’t know what to do."” You see I always was a Sunday Catholic, in church on Sundays, so I never attended Novenas on Saturdays. But Fr Greg said, "“Don'’t worry, it is quite easy, you just follow the book."” Sounds simple enough. Then I reached this part now, the homily, What am I supposed to talk about.

So I looked at this Sunday'’s readings for some inspiration, and I found the words that Jesus said to Jarius the Synagogue official "“Do not be afraid, just have faith"”. In this one sentence I found comfort and consolation, and I also found the theme for the homily. COURAGE!

I realized that in my preparation for this homily, I had many fears, and I really needed to ask the Lord for the gift of Courage. What was I afraid of?… That I might say the wrong thing, that I might do something wrong, that I might look stupid up here in front of so many people. Actually, the main thing is that I am worried of what all of you here might think of me.

It is just this worry of what others think of us that makes it so difficult to live our faith. The term that is used for youths is peer-pressure. Those of you who attended the Feast day novena last Tuesday, will remember the 2 skits put up by the youths from Revelation Generation (RG). The first skit was about 3 friends asking the a girl to lie to her parents to go out partying. The youths face peer-pressure to smoke, steal, drink, all just so that they fit in, so that others will think that they are cool. The second skit was about 3 friends talking about life after confirmation, how they can sleep late, go out on Sundays, and one of them stuck out like a sore thumb, saying how she doesn'’t find mass boring, and she can'’t wait to be confirmed to start serving in church. In that skit, we see how peer-pressure not makes people do bad things, but also how peer-pressure can make us not do good things, to lead mediocre Christian lives.

And although the two examples I used are from the youths because of the skits, peer-pressure also happens to adults. Although most adults wouldn'’t admit it. To them peer-pressure only applies to youths, who are not matured enough to make decisions for themselves. But adults are just as concerned about their image, about fitting in with their peers as much the youths. Why do you think the Plastic Surgery and Beauty Products industry is enjoying so much business. They worry about the cars they drive, the jobs they have, how well their child is doing in school.

In fact, it is only while preparing this homily that I realized that for myself. Take my joining the seminary, when I first told some of my friends, I faced quite a bit of being made fun off. Comments from "“Means cannot get married ah?"” to things like, "“So got chance to become Pope or not?"

Whether adults or youths, we all face peer-pressure from the people around us, because we are concerned about what others think of us. In the world it is not cool to be seen as holy. You ever noticed that when it comes to saying opening prayer, or leading in grace, we always are so shy to be the person to do it. In fact we are shy to even just be nice, that our Government has to encourage us to smile. When Fr Simon Pereira talked about it at the Feast Day Novena, he mentioned the word COURAGE. This got my attention, yes even to do a simple act like smiling to a stranger, takes courage. I did a small experiment, on myself, You see, when I am wearing this cassock, I feel like I have the license to be friendly to parishioners. I can smile and greet anyone, and they would respond, just because I'm a brother, or sometimes mistaken as a priest. But when I tried to do it without my cassock, I noticed two things. Firstly I was more uncomfortable smiling and greeting strangers. What would the person I was smiling to be thinking... "Why is this guy smiling at me?" And from the other side, people were also more reserved in their response to my greeting of "Good morning"

I also realised that little children smiled more easily than adults. (Just at this moment, a young girl walked past the sanctuary smiling - No she wasn't planted) So why are adults less friendly? Is it because we have been hurt in the past? the fear of rejection? suspicion of others? We have allowed our fears to stop us from loving, from reaching out, from responding to others.

My dear friends, we really do need to pray for courage. And we turn to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, for inspiration, for she too needed lots of courage to lead the life that was awaiting her when she said her "Yes". Remember that the words "do not be afraid" were also said to our Blessed Mother when the angel appeared to her. Today those same words come to each one of you. "Courage, do not be afraid". And as we continue with the benediction, let us humbly ask our Lord, in the Blessed Sacrament for that gift of courage, that we may face our fears, to love more and care more.

Whatcha Thinking Of? - Nothing

2006-05-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

I remember one of Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up comedy acts, where he reveals to the women what men are really thinking about. NOTHING! In fact the Seinfeld series is known as the "Sitcom about Nothing".

Jerry : So we go into NBC, we tell them we got an idea for a show about 'Nothing'.
George : Exactly
Jerry : They say, 'what's your show about?' I say 'Nothing'
George : There you go.
Jerry : I think you may have something here.

In this last week, this has been something that has been coming again and again. It first started at one of the lessons, when the lecturer asked us about our prayer life. How we were praying, was it towards self or towards God. We were asked when we pray whether it was us talking/thinking. Going on to explain, we were told that even when we converse with God, abour things bothering us, or our questions or our thanksgiving, it is still focus on self. That got me wondering, because I'm so used to spending time with the Lord, thinking, offering my struggles, asking for enlightenment on various issues, asking for guidance. And then I was left hanging cos we went back to the actual subject for that period.

Then yesterday, we had the privilege of having Fr Laurence Freeman OSB, director of The World Community for Christian Meditation, give us a talk in the seminary about meditation. Meditation is the prayer of silence, the prayer of the heart. Meditation is the moving inwards, the mind going towards the heart. Sounds so much like what we were told during our retreat, but this time, giving us the actual method to.

The problem is the method. As Fr William Eckert says in his book "The Prayer of the Priest",

The discipline is simple but not easy

Simplicity is the essence, simplicity is the practice, simplicity is the mystery. They recommend doing this twice a day, 15-20 mins each time. Use a word like Maranatha, over and over again, just concentrate on saying the word, not thinking of the meaning of the word, not thinking of God, of Jesus. Basically not thinking of anything, or thinking of nothing.
Choose a quiet place.
Sit down comfortably, with your back straight.
Close your eyes lightly.
Sit as still as possible.
Breathe normally, staying both relaxed and alert.
Slowly and interiorly, begin to say your mantra or prayer word. Listen to the word as you say it.
Continue repeating it gently and faithfully for the whole time of the meditation.
Return to it as soon as you realize you have stopped saying it.
Stay with the same word during the meditation and from day to day.

It is really not easy to just sit there and think of nothing. There are so many distractions, externally and internal thoughts. At today's rosary, I realised that even during the rosary, where we always talk about meditating on the mysteries, but my thoughts just keep running here and there, while reciting the prayers. Maybe that's the bad thing about our multi-tasking society these days.

One of the brothers asked a very good question. "If we are keeping silent, how are we to know what God is saying to us?" Fr Laurence's answer was that meditation isn't the one and only type of prayer, but it enriches lives and with it all our other times of prayer. In this meditation we just focus on being in the presence of the Lord that is within us. To pay attention. So we still do all our other devotions, scripture readings, mental prayer, intercessions... But to take time off daily, to really be still and silent with our Lord.

Somehow at the end of this whole time, all these separate events keep building on each other; the Thomas Green books, the annual retreat, the meditation talk. To empty ourselves more, and move towards God more, to let Him take control, like the example of Thomas Green - to float. I know it's not going to be easy, we tried it before, with Fr Fred in his office once, and found it so hard to think of nothing, to let go of all the distractions. I must go and finally take that book on "Centering Prayer" off the bookshelf and see if it is the same as this meditation method. Ok, I think I shall go to the prayer room to try.

Just a wierd thought, maybe when the desert fathers first discovered this form of meditation, the conversation might have been something like this

Desert Father 1 : So when we talk to the community, we tell them we got an idea for meditation on 'Nothing'.
Desert Father 2 : Exactly
Desert Father 1 : They say, 'what's your meditation about?' I say 'Nothing'
Desert Father 2 : There you go.
Desert Father 1 : I think you may have something here.

Be An Organ Donor

2006-05-22T08:41:00.000+08:00

Got this quote from Melt and Reenie's adventure blog.

Be an organ donor
Give your heart to JESUS.

Wah it's been 2 weeks since the last post. It's been a really eventful week. Lots of things to blog about, but no time. There's the coming vocation recollection this weekend, and exams are next week.

So can only do short posts like this quote, cos not my own thoughts so don't need to stress on how to word it out properly.

Hope there's no exam for latin... ;Þ

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

2006-05-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

*UPDATE - Something wrong with the website for my mp3 files. Updated the links. Should be ok now.*

Last night, I had a really unique dream. The fact that I even remember it so vividly after waking up shows the impact it has made on me. I was at a camp and I remember having certain things going wrong, not really having the best of days. And I walked into the session room, and I see a boy playing with my mp3 player. And then I just lashed out, "Why you touch my things without persmission... Mother never teach you manners ah..."

The scary part was that I know that I am capable of that. I know that in that spur of the moment, under stress or some bad circumstance, I could/would react that way. And it was scary also because the boy was a small primary school boy. Funny thing was that I was dreaming that after the scolding, I walked away and was reflecting on my reaction. I never dream of myself reflecting before, macam like I was seeing how my thought processes worked.

I woke up and just spent the whole morning thinking over the dream. And I think I know what caused it. On sat afternoon, after voting, I went to Raffles City for lunch before going to the Cathedral for the Eucharistic Adoration for Vocations. When I went to toilet to change to my clerical shirt (uniform for seminarians), I overheard this man in the next cubicle scolding his son. "Why you do that, so big already still don't know how to do properly. You know its so shameful...." When I came out, I saw that the boy had peed on his shorts. But he was just a small boy like maybe 3 yrs old, couldn't even talk to answer his father. And I was just feeling so sorry for the boy. The father was just concerned about the inconvenience it was causing him, calling the wife to tell her what her son just did.

Anyway back to my dream, after scolding the boy, I walked out and reflected, and realised that I was super wrong in my reaction. But before I could apologise, I woke up... And although I know it was just a dream, but then I felt so guilty. Because I know that the situation is so real, I know it has happened before in my life, and I think that it might happen in the future. And in the future, the impact would be even greater. With the apology even harder to say, even harder for me to be aware without justifying my own actions. Really have to pray, that God's grace will transform me. To help me not react in that manner, to be aware of my actions when I do, and to have the humility to apologise and reconcile when it happens.

Actually this whole post was inspired by Mr Brown's Persistently Non-Political Podcast No. 4, where he uses the lyrics of the song "Sorry seems to be the hardest word". I don't think he knew how prophetic he could be, especially in the following podcasts, with the famous quotes from the now infamous Bak Chor Mee and Tur Kwa episode

"Sorry not enough, you must explain why. (mp3)"
"Explain why, you say you tell me you don't want tur kwa (pig liver) when you didn't say you don't want tur kwa? (mp3)"
"Sorry also must explain (mp3)"

The Persistently Non-Political Podcasts provided me with much entertainment and laughs these last few days. Even yesterday, when we went for dinner, I had Bak Chor Mee, and I recalled how a friend of mine previously had some problems with the Bak Chor Mee man over pig liver. Not wanting a repeat of the event, he had Nasi Lemak instead.

While on the topic of the Persistently Non-Political Podcast, go and listen to No. 3 about the Greek gods. Luckily our God doesn't work that way.

"But if you don't support us, and give us your sacrifices, your area might have less rain next year. I mean I try to do my best, but I've got to give priority to the guys among you that are willing to support us whole-heartedly, so the rains will go to those who support us"

Selling Our Soul to God

2006-05-08T09:39:00.000+08:00

Got this from CowPi's Blog. And I think it's a really wonderful way of explaining what I mentioned some posts ago about losing God to find God. Here God is inviting us, to release ownership of our lives, to sell it to him. Come to think of it, we always talk about people selling their souls to the Devil, how come never thought about selling our soul to God. I guess it really stems from our fear of losing ourselves in that process. But as in the poem, we can't understand how by selling it, we are actually gaining more, and not be kicked out of the house. Wah the more reflect on this poem... the more it strikes me. So many reflection points, God's desire for us, His patience, His promises, our fears and attachments, our slow journey of releasing ourselves, God wanting us to trust Him...

"Covenant" by Sr. Margaret Halaska

The Father knocks at my door, seeking a home for his son:

Rent is cheap, I say.

I don’t want to rent.
I want to buy, says God.

I’m not sure I want to sell,
but you might come in to look around.

I think I will, says God.

I might let you have a room or two.

I like it, says God. I’ll take the two.
You might decide to give me more some day.
I can wait, says God.

I’d like to give you more,
but it’s a bit difficult.
I need some space for me.

I know, says God, but I’ll wait.
I like what I see.

Hm, maybe I can let you have another room.
I really don’t need that much.

Thanks, says God, I’ll take it.
I like what I see.

I’d like to give you the whole house,
but I’m not sure—

Think on it, says God.
I wouldn’t put you out.
Your house would be mine and my son would live in it.
You’d have more space than you’d ever had before.

I don’t understand at all.

I know, says God, but I can’t tell you about that.
You’ll have to discover it for yourself.
That can only happen if you let him have the whole house.

A bit risky, I say.

Yes, says God, but try me.

I’m not sure—
I’ll let you know.

I can wait, says God.
I like what I see.

— Sr. Margaret Halaska

Energizer Bunny - Going on and on...

2006-05-05T08:55:00.000+08:00

"You should put away the old self of your former way of life, corrupted through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds" - Eph 4:22-23

"Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus" - Phil 3:13-14

At yesterday's Holy Hour, while I was reflecting on these 2 passages, somehow I thought of the Energizer Bunny Advertisement, where the Bunny powered by Energizer batteries goes on and on and on... And I was just thinking of how wonderful that promise of Christ to give us that living water that we will not thirst again, bread that we will not hunger. For us when we allow the Spirit to work within us, to change and transform us, we too would be able to go on and on...

So I was quite surprised to see that today's Gospel was just about that, Christ giving us His Body and Blood.

""Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him." - Jn 6:53-54,56

The wonderful gift that our Lord Jesus Christ gave us, His own Body and Blood, that we may receive Him in such a physical and tangible way. Moreover today's challenge for me is to give thanks to Him during mass, to be aware that when I eat His Body and drink His Blood, I have His promise of eternal life. Not my former way of life, but as in the Eph quote above, I may be renewed in the spirit of my mind. That I can go on and on, straining forward to the prize of God's calling, because I am being nourished and energized by His Body, Blood and Spirit.

Darkness & Light, Imprisoned & Free

2006-04-26T14:56:00.000+08:00

In today's reading and Gospel, I realised a similarity of the duality of darkness and light, imprisonment and freedom. The Sadducees did not like the apostles going around telling the truth, and tried to control it by having them imprisoned. But God sent His angel to set them free, and we see them teaching early the next morning, in the light of day, in contrast to the darkness of the night in prison.

One thing for me in this retreat, is to look back at the darknesses in my life. Things which I may have been unaware of, or intentionally hidden or pushed aside. To bring to my awareness the broken areas of my life, even things that I might have intellectually justified but have truly distanced myself away from God.

The next thing after the awareness, would be to surrender all these brokeness and sins to the Lord, to set me free from the imprisonment. To acknowledge that the Lord has the power to set me free from our entrapments and that He wants to free me, and to embrace His light. As I shared previously, it is a scary experience, and I think the Gospel verse describes it very well.

"For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. - Jn 3:20"

Sometimes God has already opened the prison door, but it is we ourselves who rather stay in the dark prison. Its like how after watching 2 hours of movie in the cinema, and then coming out to the bright sunlight really hurts our eyes. The thing is that we have to trust God, that He does what is best for us, and if we have to go through that pain, to burn away all our impurities, so that we can be transformed by Him, that is where faith comes in. Faith in the good times, more so in the bad times, and to see the goodness that comes out from the bad times.

My last reflection was whether I can accept that God is setting others free from their prisons. Do I still go to those prisons to look for them, do I still see them as prisoners. So often my prejudices, my first impressions, my images of what others are, prevent me from seeing the light in them, or even worst still, I might prevent them from growing, from being set free. So abstract yet so real. If I am a butterfly, and when I see a caterpillar, and I tell it, you are just a worm, I have forgotten that I was once that "worm", but through metamorphosis, or the Christian term Metanoia, I have transformed. And I must remember what the angel of the Lord told the apostles when they were set free:

"Go and take your place in the temple area, and tell the people everything about this life." - Acts 5:20

Joke - Confession

2006-04-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Now for some light-hearted religious humour ;Þ

Penitent : "Bless me Father for I have sinned, I had dirty thoughts."
Confessor : "Did you entertain the dirty thoughts?"
Penitent : "No Father, the dirty thoughts entertained me."

Retreat - The Dark Night

2006-04-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Retreat has started, and it has certainly been fruitful. Especially since it is continuing along the same line as what I've been sharing in my last few posts - the doubts that I had been having. One thing that I realise I forgot to blog about was the cause of my current state. After reading the book When The Well Runs Dry, I started to question myself.

Which stage of my prayer life am I in?
Is my dryness in prayer due to slackness?
Or is God testing me?
Or is He trying to teach me that consolation is not by my own effort?
Must I really go through the dark night?
Is it the only way?
Do I really love God that much?
Do I really desire to grow closer to Him?
Can't I just keep drawing water from the well?

Like I shared previously of the period of time where I doubted God's existence, did not feel His presence in my life. It was not a feeling that I would want to go through again. And now to tell me that it is waiting for me again, and even worst this time. The first analogy that came to mind was a girl telling the boyfriend, I think we need some time apart, so that our love can deepen. It doesn't make sense. But after thinking about it, that's a bad analogy, because the dark night makes sense in terms of purifying our love and relationship with God, and deepening our faith, but that doesn't make it easier or something to be desired.

So this retreat looks like its going to be good, because in the first talk, our retreat master covered topics like the dark night, our human concept of God and His love differing from Jesus' understanding. How we have to lose God to find God. In one example, he used the story of Nicodemus, how he could not understand what Jesus was saying about being born again of the Spirit. And then we have the example of our Mother Mary, when the angel appeared to her, telling her that she was to conceive, she replied, "How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?". But after that through faith in God, she believed and accepted, and through the Holy Spirit, God was made flesh.

The reason why I say the retreat has been fruitful, is because it is almost spot on with what I'm struggling with. And the retreat master in his sharing of his own life experience, has kinda motivated me to press on, to trust that the Lord will lead me to the dark night, to purify me.

These are recorded so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing this you may have life through his name. - Jn 20:31

Finally, the above verse struck me, the last line from Sunday's Gospel. And this is the purpose for this blog, so that when I do go through that dark night, I hope that I can look back and draw strength from it, and persevere on this lifetime journey.

When The Well Runs Dry

2006-04-24T22:03:00.000+08:00

This was supposed to be with the next post, but it became too long, so decided to seperate it.

I recently finished the book When The Well Runs Dry by Thomas Green. It is the follow up of the previous Thomas Green book I posted about - Opening to God. This book is about prayer beyond the beginning. In that post I quoted his example of the father and the baby, and how it is frustrating to crawl again after being carried. Well this book goes on to provide a "map" to what can be expected as a pray-er's prayer life grows.

The first part of the book uses an example from St Teresa of Avila's writings, about us being the gardener watering the garden. The water we use symbolises the joy of our prayer, and the flowers are the virtues in our lives. In the beginning, we draw water from the well with a simple rope and bucket. This is us in the beginning of our prayer life, where prayer is a tiring process and we don't get much water/joy for our efforts. Then as we progress, we are given a pump, which means less effort on our part and more water. The 3rd and 4th stages are water from a stream, and rain. Basically, as we grow in our prayer life and relationship with God. The effort and "labour" on our side decreases, and the joys and consolations increases.

All this is wonderful, and a wonderful motivation for me to continue in my prayer life, knowing that it will be easier and more fruitful as develop my "spiritual muscles". But as the title of the book hints, it does not end there. Thomas Green, calls that stage, moving from Knowing God, to Loving God. The next stage is to move towards Truly Loving God. And this is the part that provided me with much food for thought, leading to much doubt.

In the next stage, the joys we get from prayer are interspersed with times of dryness or desolation. And as we go on, the periods of dryness will get longer, until it becomes the norm. He uses the example of human courtship to parallel this process, we have the initial period, where we Discover more about each other, then the Loving and spending more time together, and then after committing to each other in marriage, comes the Truly Loving, through good times and bad, sickness and health... and living life together, no longer about the thrills and excitement, but just really two becoming one.

Thus this next stage is where our love is purified. The reason why this is necessary is that, our human minds and intellect cannot fully comprehend the love of God, and because of that we limit God and His love in our lives. And it will challenge us to lose our concepts of God and we would doubt His presence by our side. This is the dark night of the senses and soul that St John of the Cross talks about.

This will definitely be a trying time, and he uses very illustrative examples of the potter and the clay, and that of the small child who does not understand the necessity of the pain of surgery to save his life. And it is only when we truly embrace that dark night, and trust in God that our whole being can be transformed.

Lastly, he uses the example of floating to differentiate the different approaches to prayer that we take. While we are so used to being active in our prayer, judging our progress by our own efforts, as a swimmer, we still try to control the direction and the destination. But what we are called to do, is to float, and allow the Lord to guide and bring us to the destination that he chooses. To do nothing gracefully, totally surrendering our will to Him.